


Behind the scenes

by CharlieTB



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, Not super slow, Slow Burn, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-25
Updated: 2016-07-25
Packaged: 2018-05-22 07:57:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 35
Words: 55,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6071287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CharlieTB/pseuds/CharlieTB
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clarke is an actress on a successful TV show, Lexa is the new hair and make up artist. What will happen when Clarke, who's not allowed to come out as bisexual, who is forced into a relationship with her best friend, and straight co-worker Raven,  is irrevocably in love with Lexa. Will anyone let them be together?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“And cut! Alright guys, take 20 then We’re going to re-shoot the martini. I need the stage reset and last looks in now. Has anyone got eyes on Carl?” That was Kane, he was the director for this show I was in. The names Clarke, and I’m a TV actress.  


Kane picked up his walkie-talkie and stomped past me, he was never the most patient man. “I need eyes on Carl!” I made my way over to the hair and make up tent as fast as I could, feeling sorry for the shit storm that’s about to fall upon poor Carl. I saw Raven in front of me heading to the same station and jogged to catch up with her.  


“Clarke, hey! Have you read the script yet for the finale? I can’t believe they’re killing Finn off!” I shook my head at her, thanking myself for not waiting until tonight to read it.  


“I know, but it’s the best thing for his character. He needed to end on a high note before he looses the fanbase.” I saw Raven look sceptical for a moment before eventually nodding her head in agreement.  


“I know, but it will still be sad not having him around.” I couldn’t help but laugh at that.  


“Sad? Raven come on, you know you can do better than Finn. What about Wick the sparkie? He’s cute, and I know for a fact he’s interested in you.” Her relationship with Finn was a train wreck. Both knew it, but both couldn’t help themselves. They had just started to gain attention from the media which everyone knew would be the end of them.  


“He is cute, but I don’t think I’m ready to date someone from the set again, it just creates too much tension for everyone else. What about you anyway? I know you can’t date any girls because of that stupid clause in your contract, but there must be a guy out there you have your eye on.” She looked over at me and quirked her eyebrow, I knew where she was coming from, I hadn’t date anyone since Bellamy. It was a whirlwind romance, but his career took him to the other side of the country. We both agreed to end the relationship but remain friends. It ended just over a year ago and I hadn’t been interested in anyone ever since.  


“I’m not sure Raven, after Bellamy, all I want is a girl. But we both know Kane won’t allow it.” My heart dropped, sometimes I wish I was able to come out of the closet, but my publicist, Anya, and Kane both agreed that they didn’t want to loose viewership.  


I saw the pity in Ravens eyes but refused to acknowledge it. Rounding a corner we set sight of the station.  


“Did you hear that Kane fired one of the hair and make up guys? Apparently he was stealing from the show and selling the items on eBay.” I burst out laughing and open the door to the trailer, I looked around the empty room and sat in the first chair, Raven sat next to me.  


“I didn’t hear that, hopefully the new person will understand the workings of deodorant and toothpaste, although considering the track record, it’s not looking good.” Raven laughs in reply.  


“Eugh, please don’t remind me. Word is the newbie is really hot.” I watch her through the mirror as she let’s her hair down, running her fingers through her waves, appreciating her beauty. She starts asking me about my weekend coming up, gauging whether or not our weekly Netflix Saturday nights will still be happening. Distracted by our conversation, I jumped when I see a figure walking behind me.  


I could hear Raven still talking at me, but I couldn’t drag my eyes away from who was behind me. I couldn’t see much, and I didn’t want to make it completely obvious that I was staring. The person came more into view and confirming my suspicions, it was a woman. She had a backless top on, showing off an intricate tattoo which trailed down her perfectly crafted spine.  


I heard a pointed cough come from beside me which broke me out of my trance. I pulled my eyes away and stare at Raven.  


“You haven’t been listening to anything I just said, have you?” She looked back in the mirror, she knew she wasn’t going to get a reply from me. I looked back in the mirror, hoping from another sweeping glance of that tattoo, instead I found myself swimming in a sea of green. I trailed my eyes down the rest of her face, taking in the gentle curve of her lips, the strong jawline beneath, the dip of her neck followed by the enticing collarbones. I realised I was blatantly checking out this beautiful woman and snapped myself out of it. I looked back up and saw the gentle curve of her lips now raised in a smirk, she caught me.  


Raven, yet again, broke my out of my trance with another pointed cough. “If you’re finished checking out the newbie, are you actually free tonight or not?” She asked.  
I blushed instantly, hoping that the woman didn’t hear Raven, however from how her smirk has grown into a smile, I sincerely doubt it.  


I shuffled in my seat, sinking further down. I heard Raven laughing at me and shook her an angry look which only made her laugh harder. I felt a nudge against my elbow and see the woman brushing past me. I looked up and watched as she bent over slightly in front of me. I couldn’t take my eyes off her, the way her back arched over which only accentuated her tattoo. I couldn’t resist glancing further down. Just as I was about to reach, what I could only imagine to be, a delectable behind, she stood up.  


“Hey girls, I’m Lexa, the new hair and make up artist.”


	2. Chapter 2

Raven and I were sat in the green room just finishing our checks for costumes. It had been a week since the new hair and make up artist started. It had been a week since I was sitting in that make up chair watching Lexa move around me like a graceful Swan, perfecting her moves and brushstrokes like a true artist. It was captivating. She was captivating.  


She’s also intimidating as fuck.  


It had been a week and all I’d done is stare at her.  


Raven was having great joy in my misery. I was unable to speak to her, unable to concentrate on anything else. The way she uses my hair, my face, as her canvas. The way her eyes darted all around my features yet never landed on my eyes. I’d lost count at the times she stared at my lips, but I just had to remind myself that she was a professional. She was here to do a job, and I wasn’t going to get in the way of that.  


Lexa walked through the door to the green room and just like every other time, I was drawn to her. Raven nudged my leg with hers, an attempt to divert my attention. She looked at me with a knowing smile and I nudged her knee back, an attempt to shut her up. She smiled wider and I squinted my eyes, she was up to something. I watched as she winked and me and turned her head.  


“Hey Lexa! How’s it going?” What was she doing?  


Lexa was equally confused, considering none of us had ever spoken outside the hair and make up trailer. She made her way over to us, unnecessarily slowly, which gave me plenty of time to fully appreciate what she was wearing. Leather leggings which look like they were painted on and an oversized jumper hanging off one shoulder. She was the epitome of effortless beauty and flawless style.  


“I’m doing good thanks, it’s Raven isn’t it?” She leant against a table next to the sofa Raven and I were sitting on.  


“Yeh sorry, I’m Raven, and this is Clarke.” She held out her hand as a formal introduction. Lexa shook it.  


“Yeh I know Clarke. You guys prepared for the next shoot?” She knew my name. She knew my name but didn’t know Ravens. I felt my cheeks brighten with this knowledge.  


Raven, thankfully, took control of the conversation, knowing full well that I would not be able to keep up. “We are, we ran through the lines last night, just waiting on O to come over for checks. She’s taking her sweet time mind you.”  


“O? O, as in Octavia? She is costume isn’t she?” She shuffled, getting more comfy, like she was planning on staying and talking for a while.  


“Octavia yes! She’s fantastic at what she does, not so fantastic at time keeping mind you..” Raven made a statement of looking at her watch, “we’re supposed to be back on set in 10 minutes, shes cutting it fine!”  


Lexa jumped up, grabbing her walkie-talkie from her waist, she radioed in, “anyone got eyes on costume? Octavia is needed in the green room.” Not a moment later we heard her voice crackle through the little black box.  


“Standby.” Raven rolled her eyes at this.  


“Standby? How is she too fucking busy to do her own job?” I chuckled at her.  


Lexa clicked the button on the side to turn the radio back on, “What’s your 20, O?” I couldn’t help but look at her, I must have caught her eye, she was watching me. I ducked my head, not used to such direct attention from her, tucking a fallen strand of hair behind my ear I stood up and walked to the food table.  


“I’m on route.” She sounded breathless which was a good sign.  


I grabbed myself a cup of coffee, added two sugars and creamer, and stirred with a wooden stick. I leant against the table and continued stirring, I looked up to see what Raven is doing but my eyes never made it. She was leaning back on her hands, her legs crossed at her ankles, a lip between her teeth, and she was looking at me. Iost my breath for a minute. Forgetting about the coffee in my hands, I continued looking at her, as she does to me, both powerless to look away.  


The only evidence of time is the ticking of the clock, the tick, the tock, and repeat. It steadied me, matching my heart rate. She was tapping one finger in time with the rhythm. Still staring. Always staring. Pulling me into her, into the sea of green. And I was too happy to drown in her.  


A bang brought us both to our senses, looking around we saw Octavia stumble through the door, apologies gracing her lips. Lexa took this as her queue to leave, she slipped out without saying another word. I could finally breathe.


	3. Chapter 3

“And cut! Good jobs guys, that’s it for today. Everyone can go, tomorrow start at 5 am, Clarke can you wait around? I need to speak to you.” I left my mark and walked to the food table, eyeing up the coffee as I went.  


I reached across the table, pouring the sugar and creamer in my cup. I stirred the coffee absent-mindedly. What did Kane want to talk about? I was knocked out of my thoughts as someone fell into me, spilling my freshly made coffee down my top.  


“HOT, HOT, HOT.” I bounced around, pulling my top from my body, “Jesus Christ, what the fuck.” I grabbed a handful of napkins and tried to dab myself dry but my hand was blocked by someone else dabbing at my top.  


“I am SO sorry, I wasn’t looking where I was going, are you okay?” I was stunned into silence, I knew that voice. I looked up and was right.  


“Lexa.” I tried to step back, having this woman’s hands on my body were doing ungodly things to me, but she stepped forward with me, still attempting to dry up some of the spilled coffee. “It’s fine, seriously it’s fine.” I try to get her to stop touching me, I can’t handle what’s happening to my body right now.  


She got the hint and stood up abruptly. “Come with me.” She grabbed my hand and turned on her heels, not waiting for my reply.  


“Kane needs me, I can’t keep him waiting.” I tried to pull my hand out of hers, I can’t be this close to her.  


She grabbed her radio with her free hand. “Call out to Kane, Clarke is 10-2, will be available in 10 minutes.” Not waiting for a reply, she put the walkie-talkie back in the holster.  


“10-2? Did you just tell everyone I’m going to the restroom for a shit? Lexa!” I was mortified. I could see Lexa’s laugh before I heard it.  


“I needed to buy you some time, anyway most people have left the building so.. “ She trailed off. “Anyway, we’re here.”  


I looked around, she took me to the costume set, well that makes sense. She let go of my hand and I begrudgingly let her. Riling through the rails, she picked out a plain black top. She turned to me and thrust it in my direction.  


“Off.”  


I stumbled. Oh hell no. No. She could tell of my trepidation, but she was looking at me expectantly. Right, fine.  


I shrugged my jacket off, dropping it on the arm of a sofa beside me. Reaching down, I peeled my top off myself. Goosebumps instantly covered my toned stomach, I dropped it on the floor, only now realising I was standing in front of my crush in my bra. And boy, was she aware of it. Her pupils were dilated and I couldn’t help but smirk at how the normally cool and calm Lexa was replaced by an awkward and shy Lexa. Her eyes darted between each boob and trailed down my stomach. I bit my lip to hide a laugh when I saw the pained look which expressed her face when she realised I was still wearing jeans.  


I coughed, gaining her attention. She snapped her eyes back up to mine, blatantly embarrassed knowing she was caught out.  


“I was just making sure you weren’t scalded by the coffee..” She pushed the clean black top in my direction again and turned her head away.  


“I’m sure.” I replied, “thanks for the concern.” I chuckled at the situation and pulled the top on. “It’s safe now, you can turn around.”  


She faced me, and once again, I watched as her eyes dropped down to my chest. I coughed once again, loving the power I suddenly held over her.  


“I’m almost certain this top is coffee free, therefore it shouldn’t scold me. Thank you for obviously checking for me though, your concern is noted.” I winked at her, picked up my jacket and swivelled on my heels. “See you around Lexa.”


	4. Chapter 4

Still on a high, I walked to Kane’s office.  


“Hey Kane, everything okay?” I closed the door behind myself, only then just realising that Kane wasn’t alone. “Anya? What’s going on?” I didn’t like where this was going, with those two in the same room, it always spelt disaster for me.  


“Clarke, have a seat.” I did as instructed, my heart in my throat. “We’ve been in discussions with the producers, they want to bring in new viewers, so they want you to have a female love interest.” I was taken aback, well, I wasn’t expecting that. “We’re not expecting an answer now, go home, sleep on it, give me an answer tomorrow.” Having the last word, Kane exited the room leaving Anya and I alone.  


“Speak true, Clarke. Tell me what’s going on in your head.” She leant on the desk in front on me, crossed arms and a look of indifference on her face.  


“It would depend on the storyline, I can’t justify having a one night stand with a girl and then never talking about it again. If its realistic, and lasts more than at least 4 episodes, then maybe.” Anya nodded along with what I was saying. “These type of things are always a huge influence on viewers and we need a true representation of these relationships.”  


Anya stood up and grabbed her phone, “I’m sure those terms will be matched. Anything else?”  


“I’d like the storyline to be ongoing, not just swept under the carpet in replacement of a new male love interest.” Anya tapped away on her phone.  


“We’ll have you sit in on the writers meeting one morning, how’s that sound?” Well that was more than I expected.  


“That sounds great! Thanks Anya.” Finally I was excited over the responsibility of this role. Anya grabbed the rest of her things, making me realise this meeting was over. I stood up, looked around and made sure I had all my belongings and turned to leave. Anya beat me to the door and stopped me in my tracks.  


“One last thing, if you do this storyline, you really won’t be able to come out as bisexual, it would narrow the market viewers too much, producers wanted me to stress that to you.” Anya raised her eyebrow at me, fully aware that this news was crushing me. “That’s why you need to take the night to think about it.” And with that, she left the room.  


I was stunned, speechless, and utterly broke. I couldn’t last much longer in the closet, but this was bigger than me, I had the chance to change something. I grabbed my phone and called Raven. I listened to the ringing, silently pleading for her to answer, it continued ringing. No answer.  


Tears started to cloud my eyes, I didn’t want to do this here, I needed to leave. I left the office, barely registering my name being called out. I made my way to the car lot, keys in hand ready to leave.  


“Clarke!” I heard it this time, I turned around. I must have stopped too quickly, before I knew who was calling my name I was flat on my back with a face full of hair.  


“What the fuck!” Whoever decided to floor me was scrambling to get off me, only hurting me more in the process. “JESUS, STOP MOVING!” I shouted. The elbow in my side slowly retreated and the knee in my thigh lessened up. The hair was eventually moved from my face, revealing the greenest eyes I still wasn’t used to.  


“Lexa?” She wasn’t moving, and from what I could tell, she was also barely breathing.  


“I’m.. I’m sorry Clarke” She looked down, seemingly evaluating her options. “Can I move yet?” I looked down as well, it was obvious she wasn’t comfortable in our position, it pained me. Okay, I could take a hint, my feelings weren’t returned, awesome.  


“Yeh, please.” She looked down and gently removed herself from me. She stood up, dusted herself off and offered a hand to pull me up.  


I refused to acknowledge the gesture and made my way onto my feet without her offered help. I wiped the ground from my thighs and ran my fingers through my hair, shaking it as I went. She was watching me, nervous.  


“So is there any reason why you knocked me on my ass?” I asked with more attitude than expected. She rubbed the back of her neck.  


“I saw you coming out of Kane’s office, you didn’t look happy, I just wanted to make sure you were okay.. I’m sorry.“ Damn. Hold back the attitude Clarke, it’s not her fault.  


“No, I’m sorry. I’m fine, I’ve been given the chance to represent the LGBT audience, it’s a great opportunity for me.” I smiled, it really was, and I needed to stop making this about myself.  


“Wow that’s fantastic! I’m really proud of you.” The genuine smile she finished with was beautiful, spread from ear to ear, it was genuine, it was homely.  


“Thanks. I should go, I need to speak to Raven.” She looked around, only seeming to notice where we were.  


“Of course, I’m sorry for keeping you.” She smiled one final time and walked away. I unlocked the car door and got in, quickly speeding away from the set.  


I tried to reach Raven again on the hands free. The sound of ringing surrounded the car. It was tense, I needed to speak to her. Realising that she was never going to answer, I changed my course, on route to Raven’s abode. She could answer me there.  


Not 10 minutes later I pulled into a private car lot. I parked my car, grabbed my bag, and made my way up to Ravens front door. I knocked once, twice, three times before the door is opened suddenly, revealing a very angry Raven.  


“I seriously need your help.” Guessing from the anger that dropped from her eyes and how she opened her door up wider for me to step through, gave me an indication that she knew how serious this was.


	5. Part 5

Raven and I had stayed up most of the night, discussing my options, and we still hadn’t come up with a solution. We car pooled to the set that day, trying to cover all sides of the argument as possible, trying to come up with some sort of answer to my problem.  


“I don’t know what else to say Clarke.” Raven turned to me, sorrow plagued her eyes, “if it were me, I’d take the role, hold out for a few more years.”  


I nodded my head, “if I do this, I have the opportunity to represent the community, but if I come out, I’m telling everyone that I’m also part of the community. How can I possibly decide that?” I gripped the steering wheel hard and stared at my white knuckles. Trying to lighten the mood, I looked over to Raven, “I guess it all comes down to who the new love interest is!”  


We pulled into the set and Raven climbed out of the car, “that’s very true, what if it’s someone really, really ugly? As much as you’d like to play a bisexual, would you want to play one with no game?”  


I laughed as I climbed out of the car, “you know my character isn’t shallow in the show!” I walked up to Raven who was waiting for me.  


“I know, I know, but Clarke is shallow. And if you do this with an ugly person, it’s out there forever. All over the Internet, all over the media. You and this ugly chick. Forever. That is a big commitment.” Raven linked her arm through mine as we joined the production crew.  


“You make a valid point.” We slowed down, making our way over to the green room, however we never made it.  


“Kane, I told you my decision, please respect my wishes.” We looked around, trying to find the source of that voice.  


“Lexa, I’m sorry. Indra wanted me to ask one final time. I owed her a favour, I won’t ask again.” Raven looked over to me in confusion, eyes evident in asking who Indra was. I shrugged in response.  


Lexa and Kane were obviously in dispute over something, and whatever it was, it has pissed Lexa off. She stormed past us, not even looking in our direction.  


Kane spotted us before we could get away. “Ah girls! Perfect, I just needed to speak to you two.”  


Raven looked over to me concerned, I grabbed her hand and pulled her closer to me. “Is everything okay Kane?”  


He held the door open to his tent, “Well that boils down to the next few minutes.” My heart jumped in my throat, I wasn’t prepared to give an answer yet! Raven and I sat down, watching Kane circle the office, “I know I gave you until today for an answer, however that was before the producers decided who the love interest was going to be.” He sat down opposite us.  


“And that’s why you’re here Raven.”  


I felt Raven squeeze my hand slightly, “so Raven will be playing the new love interest?” I looked between Kane and Raven, surely I’m getting the wrong end of the stick here. I had to be wrong. A smile spread across Kane’s face, maybe not.  


“That is what’s being offered, if you both decide on doing this.” Kane stood up, silently indicating that the meeting was over. “You both have until first shoot tomorrow to decide.”  


Raven and I stood up too and followed him out of the office. With a final nod, he turned on his heels and left us.  


Trying to lighten the mood, I looked over at Raven and smiled, “at least I don’t have to worry about the new love interest being ugly.”  


Raven barked out laughter and linked her arm through mine, I was glad that this hadn’t affected our friendship. She pulled me closer to her, “come on, we need to get to hair and make up.”  


Twirling on our heels, we headed to that direction. “So what was what with Kane and Lexa?” Raven pondered out loud.  


“Beats me, she didn’t look happy though.” Raven nodded in agreement.  


“Who knows, she’s a mystery to everyone.” Raven concluded.  


Reaching the trailer, Raven went in first and I followed. It was empty which was unusual. “Are we missing something?” I asked Raven, she shrugged in reply.  


We made ourselves comfy in the chairs just as the door to the trailer opened, in walked Lexa. I watched as she dropped her bag on the floor by the door and draped her coat over it, showing off her defined arm muscles as she went.  


“I’m sorry I’m late, I was...” She trailed off as she noticed me, “Clarke, hey!” I tried to ignore the way my being here distracted her but it was useless.  


“Lexa, hey.” I shot her a smile, watching one in return. She dropped her head slightly and tucked a fallen strand of hair behind her ear.  


Raven, yet again, coughed pointedly at us, “and Raven, Raven is here too guys.” She huffed and picked up her phone.  


I watched Lexa as her eyes widened in response, “yes, Raven, hey, sorry.” She turned to the mirror and opened up her make up supplies, ignoring how Raven snorted a laugh in response.  


“Rumours about your new storyline has been spread around the set.” Lexa looked over at me, a powdered brush in her hand, prepared for painting. “Everyone is impressed by you.”  


I nodded my head and briefly looked over at Raven, her head had peaked up at this. My heart started beating harder, why was I nervous?  


“We haven’t decided yet, Kane gave me an extension, we have until tomorrow to decide.” Lexa pulled back in confusion.  


“We?” She asked.  


I looked between her and Raven, waiting for Raven to jump in at any minute. She didn’t.  


“Raven would be my new love interest if I accept the offer.” Lexa dropped her head, leaving a moment of silence.

  
“If?” She asked.  


I again, looked between her and Raven. Every fibre of my body is begging me to tell her, begging me to tell her that I liked girls, that I liked her, but I can’t. There were eyes and ears all over the set, I had to get special permission just to tell Raven, and even when I did, there were meetings with agents and NDA’s to sign. It was unnecessary, yet I was bound by these measures.  


Raven cottoned onto my discomfort and jumped in to help me. “If Clarke wants to, it’s a huge deal and she doesn’t know if she wants to represent the community.” I whipped my head round and looked at Raven incredulously before looking back at Lexa, wishing Raven hadn’t to try and help. She had physically recoiled at Ravens words.  


“What changed? You were excited last night?” She wasn’t looking at me, instead paying far too much attention to the brush and powder in her hands. “Too much of an effort to play a lesbian or bisexual? Now that you’ve thought about it you’ve realised how immoral and wrong it is?” She stopped playing with the tools in her hands and looked at me, I could see the judgement and fear behind her eyes, it pained me.  


“No! No its nothing like that I swear!” I tried to rush out but the way Lexa turned her back, it was obvious that I was too late. She had made her own conclusions about me, and as so incredibly wrong as they were, I was powerless to correct them.


	6. Part 6

“Out of all the reasons Raven. Out of all the fucking reasons Raven, you had to come up with the homophobic one. Out of all the fucking reasons!” Raven at least had the decency to look guilty. “What the fuck were you fucking thinking? She thinks I’m homophobic! Lexa thinks I’m fucking homophobic Raven!” I was fuming. After the most awkward hair and make up session with Lexa, followed by awkward shooting of scenes whenever I was near Raven made for a long day. Raven took me home under the impression that she was going to apologise, I hadn’t yet given her the chance.  


“I mean come on Raven, you knew how into her I was! Now she’s never going to want me!” I slumped down into a chair, my head in my hands and my heart on the floor.  


“I’m so, so, unbelievably sorry Clarke, I panicked, I didn’t mean it in a homophobic way! She interpreted what I said in the worst way!” I huffed in response. “And I’m sorry to say this Clarke, but nothing could have happened between you two anyway, you know what Anya and Kane are like, maybe I’ve done you a favour.”  


I looked up at her, my previous position was reflected in her. I bent down to my knees and pulled her head from her hands. “I love you Raven, but sometimes you’re a douche.” She laughed and leant forward, pulling me into a hug.  


“And to pay me back for this, you’re doing to storyline with me. I need to prove to Lexa I’m not homophobic.” I felt Raven nod her head on my shoulder.  


“Okay deal.”

_________________________________________________________ 

 

The next day Raven and I made our way to Kane’s office, I had already scheduled Anya to meet us there.  


We reached the tent and opened the door seeing both Kane and Lexa already waiting for us.  


“Hey guys, have you made a decision yet?” Kane went straight to the point.  


Both Raven and I looked at each other, waiting to see if the other backs out. After a few minutes silence I took it upon myself to speak for us both. “We’re in.”  


Kane jumped up from his desk, “marvellous! I’ll arrange a time for you to meet with the writers, expect next week at some point. We have a few ideas but nothing is set in stone. You’ve made a good choice Clarke.” He picked up his walkie-talkie and left the tent, Raven trailed behind him, understanding that I needed to speak to Anya alone.  


“You’ve thought this through Clarke, yes?” She sat where Raven sat, one leg thrown over the other, waiting for a reply.  


“Yes. It’s not ideal, but it is what it is. Actually something happened yesterday which pretty much forced my hand.” She sat up at this, expecting the worst.  


“What’s the damage control?” She reached over to Kane’s desk, retrieving her phone from her bag.  


“We were in hair and make up, I let it slip that I hadn’t decided yet whether I wanted the arc or not. The artist, Lexa, she asked me why, I panicked, Raven jumped in and it kind of turned out like I was, maybe, a little bit..” I trailed off, scared, “homophobic.”  


Anya rolled her eyes, “I know I said to keep it straight on the set, but I didn’t mean like this!” I ran my hands up and down my face, embarrassed by the situation.  


“I know, I know. But she’s cute, and I didn’t know what to say, this type of stuff doesn’t happen every day!” I tried to defend myself but to no avail.  


“Lexa, you said yes? Okay I’ll deal with her.” She stood up, pulling her bag on her shoulder and turned to leave.  


“Wait! What do you mean, deal with her? You’re not going to get her fired are you? Or worse?” Anya laughed at me.  


“Seriously Clarke, how scary do you think I am? That wouldn’t help your situation, we need to keep her on our side here.” With that, she left me alone. What had I gotten myself into?


	7. Part 7

It had been a week since Raven and I spoke to Kane about accepting the new storyline. We still hadn’t heard anything about the writers meeting, which was no surprise in this line of work.  


It had also been a week since Lexa has spoken to me.  


It had been a week of silence whilst I sat in the hair and make up chair, a week of glances and almost words. A week of walking on eggs shells and missed opportunities.  


Raven and I had discussed the new on-screen relationship briefly but neither of us went in depth, there was no point until we spoke to the writers. We were in a state of limbo, on edge and we were inpatient.  


We were wrapping up on set, I decided to help myself to yet another free coffee, when I heard my name through a radio.  


“Has anyone got eyes on Clarke?” I looked around, trying to pinpoint the location.  


“I have, I’ve got eyes on Clarke.” I circled once more before I found it. Lexa.  


Lexa had eyes on me, they were piercing and uncomfortable, which was a step up from painful and judgmental, yet I couldn’t look away.  


She stepped closer to me, raising the radio as she did, her eyes never leaving mine.  


“Where do you want her?” My breath hitched, my cheeks blushed, and my mind ran wild. She quirked her eyebrow at me, it was obvious she noticed my reaction. “I mean where should I send her?” She bowed her head, awaiting a reply.  


“Kane’s office in 5. Over.” She put the radio back in the holster on her hip and started to turn around before stopping.  


“Sorry if I made you uncomfortable, we wouldn’t want you to think a girl was hitting on you now would we.” She had the last word, regret filled me as I watched her walk away.  


I grabbed my phone out of my pocket, speed dialling Anya. I waited for her to answer but it rang straight to voicemail. I hung up and tried again, voicemail, again.  


“Anya it’s me, did you deal with Lexa and the homophobic issue? Cos I’m really tired with the awkwardness and stuff. Can you just, can you just call me please? Thanks.” I hung up and made my way to Kane’s office.  


I met Kane along the way, “Clarke, perfect you got the message.” He slowed down to a stop, I stopped with him, “can you and Raven make it in tomorrow, 8 am, there’s a writers meeting with only one thing on the agenda, your relationship with Raven. If you want input, then be there, tomorrow at 8 am.” He left without another word, leaving me to tell Raven.  


I grabbed my phone out of my pocket again and called Raven this time, it rang to voicemail. Cursing out loud I stormed over to my car, why didn’t anyone pick up their phones these days? Making the decision to speak to her in person, I made my way over to her place.  


I rolled through the car park, thinking about how much time I had spent at this place, I might as well have moved in. I climbed out of the car, remotely locking it behind me, and made my way to Ravens door.  


I knocked on the door impatiently, waiting, impatiently waiting for her to answer when it opened suddenly. My mouth opened with it.  


“Well I guess I should get used to this.” I smirked at her, she was stood there, clad only in a towel, her wet hair falling gracefully down her shoulders, “considering we’re going to be girlfriends on the show soon.” She opened the door wider, letting me through.  


“Soon? Have you heard something?” she closed the door behind me, turned around and leant on it, watching me as I made my way to her sofa.  


“You, me, tomorrow. 8 am, writers meeting.” She pushed off the door and came to sit next to me, excitement evident on her face.  


“Really?” She bounced up and down, her joy washed off on me, this really was exciting. She leant forward, embracing me. I wrapped my hands around her back as we swayed slightly, both gently laughing at each other. Waves of her newly washed hair covered my senses, I dug my nose in further, she smelt incredible. She must have noticed as I felt goosebumps soon cover her neck. She moved her head to the side, my first thought? Shit, she’s moving away. Second thought? No, she’s giving me more room. Third thought? What the fuck are we doing?  


I couldn’t dwell on it, the muscles rippled along her neck knocking me out of my senses. I dragged my nose along her, taking in more of her as I went. I soon reached her jaw line and continued upwards, I ran my nose along the outside of her ear, instinctively taking her lobe between my teeth. She shuddered and dropped her arms from round my back. Leaning back from me, I looked up. My breath was lost, my heart was beating, and my clit was pulsing.  


“Clarke, what’s going on?” She looked at me, hope in her eyes and a lip between her teeth.  


“I’m not sure, I just know that I don’t want to stop.” I reached up and gently pulled her lip from between her teeth. “Balls in your court here Raven.”  


Her eyebrows scrunched up in thought. Too much time had passed. I was just about to leave, apologies coming out left, right and centre, but she stopped me. “Clarke, you know I’m straight yeh?” I looked down in embarrassment, “so let’s just call this research for the show.” A cheeky smiled spread from ear to ear, she grabbed my hand, stood up and pulled me up with her.  


“One time deal?” I asked her, we both knew it was nothing more than that, I just needed to be sure.  


She nodded her head, “one time deal.” She took my left hand and placed it on her neck, she used this to pull me closer, dropping her towel as she went. My eyes fell down her body, drinking her in.  


“Fuck Raven what are we doing?” I let out a gentle laugh at the situation, but I didn’t let it deter me. With a final breath, I closed the distance between us, claiming her lips with mine. She pushed back against me, nudging me down on the sofa. Following me down, she draped her body over mine.  


I thrusted up in response, sliding my leg between hers, fully expecting to take control here, but that wasn’t the case.  


Raven grabbed both my arms holding them above my head, leaving me wet and wanting below her. She rocked into me, skilfully teasing me with the dip of her tongue and nip of her teeth.  


“Shit” I proclaimed, she leant down, putting her weight on her leg between my legs, pulsing it against me. My hips involuntarily rocked up with her, creating a gentle but perfect rhythm.  


She leant down, trailing kisses down my neck, sucking gently as she went, “you sure you haven’t done this before?” I asked.  


Raven laughed, pushing her leg into me further. My head fell back and my mouth opened in a moan which never made it out.  


“I said I’m straight, I never said I hadn’t done this before.” Oh. The rocking continued, the constant pressure on my clit was driving me wild. She reached down, unfastened the button and zip on my jeans and didn’t hesitate to feel just how wet she made me.  


Pulling her leg back gave her extra room, but I wasn’t ready to lose the pressure, I tried to chase her with my hips but she held them down. Satisfying my desire for friction, she gathered wetness from me and used it to circle my clit. I moaned out her name, begging for more, begging to go harder.  


She was building me up slowly, making me want it, making my crave it. She slowly increased pressure, changing the rhythm of her flicks, keeping me on edge but not quite enough to push me over.  


I reached down and grabbed a hold of her arm, pushing her into me, “please Raven.” I begged. She laughed at my neediness but never gave in.  


I felt the release building up inside of me like a fire, the burning on my fingers and toes, the clenching in my chest, the cloudiness in my head. I couldn’t breathe, all I could do was feel. Feel how she sped up with barely noticeable movements. I tried to ask for more but I couldn’t speak, I couldn’t find the words, all I could do was feel. I tried to rock my hips against her harder, I tried to push her hand into me further but I couldn’t move my body, all I could do was feel.  


Before I knew it, the fire consumed me, my head rolled back and my body froze. Seconds passed before I was able to scream out my pleasure. Ravens name left my lips along with several others. My arms flew to the pillow beside my head, grounding me before I was lost in this feeling. My hips chased her finger round, trying to extend the pleasure, pleasure I knew I couldn’t handle.  


I finally collapsed on the bed, weightless and lost. It was the best orgasm I had been given in years, all I wanted to do was return the favour. Once I was able to recall feelings in my entire body that is.


	8. Part 8

My alarm woke me up in the morning, I groaned and turned off the sign, noting the time flashing at me 6:00. Tired yet satisfied, a smile graced my lips as I stretched last night’s activities from my muscles. I rolled over, reaching across the empty bed for my phone. Turning the screen on I noticed notifications. 27 missed calls and 31 texts messages. My eyes widened in response, well that can’t be good. I locked the screen, trying to hold off the shit storm that was awaiting me. Only now noticing the empty space, I gathered the sheet around me and made my way to Ravens kitchen, coffee was calling me.  


I switched the coffee machine on and leant on the side, there was no sign of Raven anywhere. Not bothered by the silence, I made myself comfy. I heard the coffee finish boiling and turned around to pour myself a pot. I warmed my hands up run the cup and made my way over to the fridge, creamer and sugar was always needed.  


I heard keys rattling in the door, Raven must be home. I walked out of the kitchen, steaming cup of coffee in my hand and a smile still graced on my face.  


“I’d stop smiling if I were you. You fucked up Clarke.” I looked up, surprised at the voice I heard.  


“Anya? What are you doing here?” She push past me and entered the living room, Raven and her agent, Thelonious Jaha in tow. Raven looked at me, a worried expression on her face.  


“We’re in trouble Clarke.” She grabbed my hand and led me to the living room.  


“Sit” Anya instructed, I did so without hesitation. She reached into her bag, pulling out a handful of magazines, she threw them on the table in front of us. I leant forward, spreading out the papers, shit.  


Confused, I looked between Raven and Anya. Raven’s head had collapsed in her hands, Anya was stood, staring at me.  


“Care to explain why Raven is opening the door to you in nothing but a towel?” I looked down to the pictures, they were everywhere. “Care to explain why you look like you’re ready to eat her?” I blushed in response. “Scrap that last question, I really don’t want to know.”  


I heard Raven let out a groan of discontent next to me, “it isn’t what it looks like” she muffled out.  


Jaha laughed, “so you and Clarke didn’t get nasty last night?” I refused to look at him.  


“Okay maybe it is what it looks like.” Both Anya and Jaha threw up their hands in disbelief.  


“How long has this been going on for?” Anya was angry, seriously angry.  


“It isn’t! I mean, it hasn’t, it isn’t going to. Last night was the first and last time.” I tightened the sheet around myself, I felt vulnerable, “it won’t happen again.”  


Jaha let out another laugh. “That’s where you’re wrong Clarke.” He stood next to Anya and stared at both Raven and I. Feeling like school children in detention, I lowered my head again, waiting for him to continue.  


“Kane isn’t happy, you’ve completely blown your contract and potentially the new storyline. He’s been on the phone with the producers all morning, no one is happy.” He reached into his bag and pulled out several stapled pieces of paper. Handing a pile to both Raven and I.  


“They’ve managed to write up a draft new contract, but I’m warning you, you may not like it.” I looked down at the contract in my lap like it was burning me. Scared to touch it, I looked over to see Raven’s reaction, there wasn’t any.  


“Have you seen this?” I asked her, she nodded her head solemnly.  


I looked at Anya, begging her to explain. She rolled her eyes at me, not the first time this morning.  


“It’s the only way the producers want to spin this without making either of you look like whores.” I looked down again, expecting the words to speak to me, to tell me what’s going on in the simplest of ways. “So as of today, you’re finally coming out to the world.”  


That caught my attention, well that didn’t sound too bad!  


“As Raven’s girlfriend.”  


Oh.


	9. Part 9

When Anya and Jaha left us alone over an hour ago, Raven immediately got up and had a shower, I was still sat in the same place, now nursing a cold, untouched, cup of coffee. I had read over the contract multiple times. We were to be seen happy, holding hands and the occasional kiss. We were to be seen together for any award ceremonies and celebrations that may occur over the next three months. After that, the situation will be reviewed and a new contract will be drawn, one which details that the relationship ended amicably. It all seemed okay to me, but I had yet to know Ravens thoughts on this.  


Seeming to read my mind, she exited the bathroom, clothed this time and sat next to me. She was silent, it was unsettling, I wasn’t used to a wordless Raven.  


She finally turned her head at me and laughed.  


“Well, this is shit.” I laughed with her, “I’m not even gay Clarke!”  


I nodded my head at her, “I know, I’m sorry for coming on to you.” She grabbed my hand and held it between hers.  


“Don’t be, it takes two to tango, and we tangoed good.” She squeezed my hand. “We both agreed on a one night stand, we’re both to blame here, please don’t beat yourself up over it.”  


The guilt left me, although not entirely. “I know, but still.” I trailed off, unsure on how to finish the sentence.  


“Don’t Clarke, honestly. It was fun. I don’t regret it.” She laughed at herself, “well I regret getting caught but that’s about it.” Again, I laughed with her.  


“Okay, so we’re still friends yes? Friends when it’s just us, and girlfriends in public?” She agreed with me.  


“Exactly. Don’t get me wrong, if I wanted a relationship with any girl, it would be you, but it’s just not for me.” She rationalised.  


I nudged her teasingly, “you’d be so lucky” I winked at her.  


Feeling grateful that our friendship hadn’t changed, much, I stood up and decided to get changed. “I take it the writers meeting has been cancelled?”  


Raven stood up too, “yeh, before we pick that up again, Kane needs to discuss our coming out story.” She picked up her ringing phone, reading out a text, “which will be happening in an hour apparently. Get dressed, we’re going to the set.”  


My heart dropped, I wasn’t ready for yet another verbal beat down. Sometimes I missed the normal life, the life where I was able to go outside without someone stopping me, the life where I was able to get a greasy pizza without being judged or worried about weight gain, a life where I was free to be an out and proud bisexual. But alas, life doesn’t always go as planned.  


Adding the finishing touches to my hair, I grabbed my jacket and waited by the front door for Raven.  


“Don’t open that door, we need to take the back exit, the paps are outside waiting for us.” I realised my near mistake and followed her through the other door. She peaked her head round slightly, looking to check if the coast was clear. She opened the door wider and walked out, assuming it must be, I followed her.  


She remotely unlocked her car and we climbed in, making our way to the set. It was silent, a comfortable silence. We both knew that Kane was pissed, we just hoped he had had a chance to calm down.  


The journey took less time than hoped, we soon were pulling into the private set. She leant across the console and squeezed my hand, a sign of solidarity. We were literally stuck in this together now.  


She exited the car in unison and made our way over to Kane’s office, a purpose in our walk. We reached Kane’s tent, my heart was in my throat and by the looks of Raven, hers was too.  


We opened the door to see Kane’s muscled back, he was pacing the office floor.  


“I know, I know. I will do my best, I have to go, they’re here now. I’ll keep you posted.” I saw Raven take in a breath, of course he was talking about us, why was I surprised.  


“Girls.” He started, “do you enjoy making my life difficult?” We both bowed our heads in shame.  


“Sorry” We both said in unity.  


He took a seat opposite us, “seriously, difficult. But there’s no point in dwelling on the past, it’s the future now that’s going to be harder. So, Anya and Jaha and faxed me over your signed contracts and the producers are as happy as they can be on this situation. The only thing left is how you’re going to come out. Both agents have decided to let you figure that bit out, they’ve given you three options.”  


Raven and I sat up, we hadn’t yet discussed this. “twitter, Instagram or PDA. Get it done by 5.” With that, he stood up, grabbed his radio and left.  


“I need to tell my family first which will be a barrel of laughs. They know I’m not gay!” I turned to Raven, she laughed at the situation.  


“I know, I’m sorry Raven.” She dropped her head.  


“If you’re going to continue apologising, I’m going to think that you regret last night. I know I don’t, so stop.” I tried to take her words on board but I couldn’t help but feel sorry for Raven.  


“Okay you’re right. So how do you want to do this?” She reached across to my lap and placed her hand on top of mine, tangling our fingers together. With her spare hand she snapped a picture of it.  


“There you go. Once I’ve spoken to my folks I’ll post this on my Instagram. I’ll give you a heads up beforehand.” I let out a sigh of relief, thankful Raven had taken over this.  


She pulled my up by our adjoined hands, “come on, we need to get to costumes to sort out the next episode, O will be waiting for us.” We left Kane’s tent and made our way over to Octavia.  


We went to open the door but we’re beat to it from the other side.  


“Lexa!” I exclaimed, I wasn’t expected to bump into her today.  


“Clarke.” She smirked, “you’re doing well to cover up your homophobia, keep it up.” She walked away, always walking away. I let out a breath of disappointment. It killed me that she thought of me this way.  


Raven squeezed my hand with an apologetic smile. I shrugged, not wanting to discuss how upset it was making me. She stepped in front of me, walking first into the costumers lair.  


“Raven, it’s nice to see you with clothes on.” Octavia laughed at her own joke. “And Clarke! I hope you’ve finished the all-you-can-eat buffet Raven was serving up.” I flushed in embarrassment.  


“Actually, it was me who was feasting last night if I remember correctly.” I nudged Raven roughly, trying to shut her up, as if this wasn’t embarrassing enough already, I didn’t need her making it worse.  


I covered my face with my hands, begging for the teasing to be over with. Octavia continued to joke with Raven at my expense, I made my way over to the chaise and got comfy, this could take a while.


	10. Part 10

After a long day, I collapsed on the sofa in my trailer. I was granted only a few seconds of silence before I was disturbed by a knock on my door, “come in, push the door hard.”  


“Hey Clarkey, how’s your day been? And shit, you need a new trailer door.” I sat up at the sound of Octavia, who was rubbing her shoulder, I’m guessing she used that shoulder to push open my dodgy door.  


“It’s been interesting to say the least, and it’s not even over.” I looked down at my phone, it was 4.36 and I still hadn’t heard from Raven yet, she was cutting it close.  


“I know, but seriously, what’s this with Raven? How long has it been going on for seriously?” I groaned, I didn’t want to lie to Octavia but I wasn’t sure how much I could let slip.  


“Not long, at all, in the slightest.” I checked my phone again, 4.38. Come on Raven, where are you?  


“How did it start? I thought she was straight. Everyone knew you were close, but no one knew you were that close.” I stood up and walked to the fridge to get a bottled water, I couldn’t look at her.  


“She’s not as straight as anyone thought apparently.” Octavia hummed in response. I uncapped the bottle and took several sips, not realising how thirsty I was.  


“Kudos though.” She laughed, holding her hand up for a high five. “Don’t leave me hanging kiddo.” I dropped my head in amusement, and high fived her back. My phone finally buzzed in my hand, I answered it knowing it could only be Raven.  


“Clarke, are you still on set?” She sounded breathless and in a hurry.  


“I am, I’m in my trailer, are you?” She hung up without answering. Octavia looked at me confused.  


“Everything okay?” She asked me, I shrugged in response.  


“I guess we will soon find out.” I took several more sips of water before screwing the cap back on. I walked back over to the sofa and sat beside O. As soon as my ass hit the cushion, the door to my trailer burst open.  


“Clarke, seriously, I hate this shit.” It was Raven. “I’ve just had the most fucking awkward conversation with my mom, she knows I’m not gay!” I didn’t like where this conversation was going. Raven had yet to notice our present company. I stood up and tried to get her attention, it was no use. “I don’t know how we’re going to do this for three months. I’m not fucking gay Clarke! And other thing, how many times have I told you to get a new door?”  


“Raven!” I shouted. She finally looked up, noticing Octavia sat behind me.  


“Sooooo you’re not gay, but you’re with Clarke for three months?” I looked at Raven, angry and frustrated. I turned around to see Octavia sporting a shit eating grin on her face. “You’re not together are you.”  


I turned back to Raven, “Octavia is also in my trailer by the way, not sure if you noticed or not.” The sarcasm was dripping in my tone.  


“Well shit.” I stared at her harder, “I mean.. We are, yes, we’re together.” I watched as she painfully stumbled over her words. She stopped and looked down at her watch, 4.51. Her eyes widened, “we don’t have time right now. Clarke this needs to happen, are you ready?” She held her phone out to my face, the picture of our tangled fingers covered the screen with a small love heart below, tagged in it was my name. “Short and to the point, is that okay?” I nodded at her, took the phone out of her hand and posted it.  


“Done.” We both took a deserved sigh of relief.  


“Still waiting here guys, what’s going on?” Raven looked up at me, silently begging me to help her.  


“Oh no, nope, you got yourself into this mess, you can get yourself out of it.” I turned around and leant against the kitchen counter, arms folded and an expected look on my face.  


“Fine, I’m not gay, we’re not in a relationship, we fucked once, last night actually. Wow that’s gone fast, anyway, media snapped that stupid picture and now we have to play to perfect happy couple.” She looked over to me, “have I missed anything? ” I shook my head, “oh and Clarke has a massive crush on Lexa but Lexa thinks she’s homophobic and we’re under a signed contract not to say anything to anyone so she can’t fix it.”  


I let out a sigh, just because I refused to acknowledge just how much that was hurting me doesn’t mean Raven hadn’t noticed. “You can’t tell anyone you know O, please.” She stood up and walked over to me. She wrapped her arms around me and held me.  


“My lips are sealed. Tell me more about Lexa though, what happened?” I shifted my head, getting comfier on her shoulder.  


“Raven may not be gay, but I’m bisexual. I’ve been pleading with Kane and Anya to come out but it was written in my contract that I wasn’t allowed. Producers decided to write me a lesbian storyline with Raven, which is huge, but it also meant that I was completely tied to my contract. The producers wouldn’t allow an LGBT actress to play an LGBT character, so I was given a day to think about it.”  


I took a breather and moved from Octavia’s arms, grabbing my bottled water I went to go and sit next to Raven. “Anyway, Raven and I were discussing the terms in hair and make up, Lexa overheard, was asking why I wasn’t sure if I was going to take the opportunity or not. Raven, oh smart one, accidentally made it out like I was homophobic. Lexa jumped on it, I’ve tried to tell her I’m not but it just sounds like an excuse. I don’t know what to do, so she now hates me.” I finished off with a huge gulp of water, easing my drying mouth.  


I watched Octavia as she tried to take in all the information, we were again interrupted by a knock on my trailer door. Octavia opened it for me with a harsh pull, I listened as everyone took in a nervous breath, Lexa. Why was she in my trailer?  


“Sorry to interrupt, Kane is looking for Raven and Clarke. I’m guessing he wants to talk about this cover of yours.” Octavia look at Raven and I confused, I stood up and straightened out my jacket and jeans. “He didn’t sound happy, you might not doing as well as you thought you were.” Lexa sneered at me, “I guess once a homophobe, always a homophobe.” She turned around and walked off, leaving the air stale.  


“So that’s what you mean about hating you. Wow. That was cold.” I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself. Tears were beginning to cloud my eyes but I refused to let them rise to the surface.  


“She thinks Raven and I are faking it to hide the fact that I’m homophobic. Which is incredibly ironic don’t you think.” Raven reached down and grabbed my hand in support. I knew she was sorry but I didn’t want to hold it over her. We walked out the door following Octavia.  


“Well that’s fucked up.” I laughed at Octavia.  


“The whole situation is fucked up.” I replied. We said out goodbyes, scheduling to meet at the weekend for drinks, before Raven and I made our way to Kane’s office. It didn’t take long, we walked through the door without knocking.  


“Girls, hey. This won’t take long, I assume you’ve come out? It’s gone 5, just a yes or no will do.” As always, Kane was straight to the point.  


“Yes, Raven posted a PG-13 picture on Instagram.” I rubbed a hand up and down my arm, “it’s done.”  


Kane clapped his hands together, “fantastic, glad that’s done.” I assumed we were finished so Raven and I started to make our way out of his office, “before you go, Anya wants you to call her Clarke when you get a chance.” He nodded his head and we turned to leave.  


I reached into my pocket to call Anya but I couldn’t find it. I patted my body down but it wasn’t there. “Hey Raven, I let my phone on my trailer, I’m going there first so I’ll just see you tomorrow?” She gave me a hug for goodbye and we went our separate ways.  


I reached my trailer, annoyed that I’m going to have to push open my dodgy trailer door for the second time today, seriously, I was getting a bruise already. It shut behind me as I searched around for my phone, “ah ha!” I exclaimed, it was resting on top of my fridge.  


I unlocked it and called Anya, it rang twice before she picked up. “Clarke, perfect. Did you come out with Raven?” She asked.  


“I have done yes, it’s all fine.” I told her. “Did you manage to speak to Lexa?” I asked.  


“Lexa? Oh yes, the homophobic stuff, no. I know who she is and that stuff is way out of my league. Anyway, considering who she’s related to, I figured I didn’t have to speak to her, she’s going to stay quiet so there’s nothing to worry about.” I was confused and about to ask Anya what she was talking about but I was cut off, “I have to go now anyway, I’ll call you.” She hung up.  


What on earth was she talking about? Who is Lexa related to? And why did Anya think that Lexa was out of her league? It didn’t make any sense. I decided not to dwell on it any further until I was home in bed, I looked around and double checked that I hadn’t forgotten anything else. Seeing that it was all fine I made my way to the front door.  


I pulled once, twice, three times, but it wasn’t opening. Shit. I put my bag on the floor and tried again. Once, twice, three times. Still nothing. Shit shit. Okay I can fix this. I tried lifting the door as I pushed the handle down but it was no use, the door wasn’t budging.  


I tried got my phone out of my bag and called Raven, hoping she was still on the set but it went straight to voicemail, I hung up and tried again, voicemail. Cursing I through the phone on the ground and attempted to open the door again. Nothing was moving.  


I dropped my head against the door, letting out a sign of frustration.  


I knocked on the door, hoping someone may hear me.  


“Hello? Is anyone there? I’m stuck.” I felt like a fucking cliché, but it was worth a shot. I turned my head, pressing my ear against the door, hoping to hear something. Nothing.  


I banged louder, “anyone?” I shouted. Again, nothing. I collapsed on the floor and tried to push the door with my feet. Nothing was moving. Fuck, I seriously needed to go to the gym when I get out of here.  


I kicked the door, once, twice, three times. It was no surprise when it didn’t move. I rolled over dialled Ravens number one more time, voicemail, again.  


“FUCKS SAKE” I screamed out, vocalising my anger.  


“Hello?” I heard a voice. Oh thank God.  


“Hey! Can you help? I’m stuck in my trailer, my door won’t open.” Embarrassed by this situation, I stood up wiping the dirt off myself.  


“Yeh okay, stand back.” I tool their advice, moving my bag and jacket out of the way, “ready.”  


There was a few seconds silence before the trailer shook, the door still in place.  


“Jesus what have you gone to it?” I laughed.  


“Its always been dodgy, but now it’s just given up all together.” I rubbed my neck, feeling incredibly pathetic.  


“Okay I’m going to kick it in, stay standing back.” I moved back, ensuring I was out of the firing line.  


The trailer shook again, no luck. Again there was a few seconds of silence before it shook once more, letting out a bang as it did. The door burst open rapidly and I jumped with joy. My savour rushed in to catch the door, fuck, it was Lexa. I turned around in a panic, I didn’t want her to recognise me, not in such a pathetic situation anyway.  


I could hear here in the trailer, I sneaked a peek out of the corner of my eye, she was examining the door.  


“There’s a dislodged piece of the frame, it’s getting caught on the outside, it’s going to have to be replaced soon.” I hummed, acknowledging her assessment, trying to not give away my voice, trying to not let her know it was me. “Are you okay? Shit did I catch you with the door?” I felt her touch my arm, nudging me to turn around but I pulled away. “Fuck I hurt you, shit let me see!” I panicked, no she didn’t hurt me, no she didn’t catch me with the door but shit, I could tell her that!  


I bent down to get my jacket and bag, trying to avoid eye contact when I stumbled over my feet, I reached up to grab the counter but missed.  


“Clarke?!” Fuck. I looked down, I had used Lexa’s arm for support, I snapped it away and stepped back watching Lexa do the same. I looked up to see her confused face but wasn’t given enough time to question it.  


“The door!” I shouted, Lexa’s eyes widened, she had let it go, we both watched as it slammed shut, we were too late.  


We were both stuck now.


	11. Part 11

“What the fuck Clarke! Why did you let the door close?” Lexa was angry, really angry.  


“Me? I didn’t do anything!” her anger was rubbing off on me. I watched as Lexa tried to prise the door open with no luck.  


“FUCK!” She slammed her hand against the unmoved door. “Exactly! You didn’t do anything! You let the door fucking close!” She slammed her hand two more times against the door as I threw mine up in discontent.  


“Are you kidding me? You’re the one who let the door go in the first place after just saying how broke it was!” I felt like Kane, pacing back and forth, wearing out the carpet in my trailer.  


“I thought I hurt you when I kicked it in! I was trying to be fucking helpful!” She finally realised that slamming her hand against the door wasn’t doing any good and just leant against it. “If I knew it was you in here I wouldn’t have bothered.”  


I stopped pacing and looked at Lexa incredulously. “What the FUCK is your problem?!” She laughed at me. “Oh, because this is so funny?” I sat down on the sofa, my head found my heads like it has done most days recently.  


“It’s just funny that a homophobe is stuck on a trailer with a known lesbian.” Another little laugh was let out, “this must be your idea of hell.”  


I shook my head, couldn’t believe this was happening. There was nothing I could say. She was stubborn and frustrating, and so fucking wrong. I stayed in silence, I couldn’t argue with her anymore. Tears collected around my eyes, I wiped them away furiously, I couldn’t let her see me like this, so I kept my head in my hands.  


It was tense, it was awkward. And wait a minute, a lesbian? Lexa was a lesbian? My head shot up, she was tapping away on her phone, not paying me any attention. Her nose was crinkled, her eyes were focused, and her perfect jawline was strained.  


“Why do you think I’m a homophobe?” I didn’t realise I had asked that out loud until I saw Lexa turn her head and look at me. I cleared my throat and looked away.  


“For one, you’ve never denied it.” I let out an angry breath.  


“That’s a shit reason, you’ve never actually given me the chance to deny it.” She stayed silent and stoic at my answer, not looking away.  


“So if you’re not homophobic, why wouldn’t you want to do that storyline?” Fuck, how was u supposed to answer that? ‘Oh yeh, I couldn’t do the storyline because it meant I couldn’t come out but fuck that because now I’m out in a fake relationship with Raven so they might not do the storyline at all?’ Jesus, I felt royally screwed.  


“I did want to. I still want to. It just might not be happening anymore so it doesn’t matter.” I reached forward and grabbed my phone, dialling Raven one more time, voicemail again. I turned on the sofa and put my feet up, might as well make myself comfy.  


“It’s not? Why?” I turned my head and stared at her, watching the emotions flicker in her eyes.  


It was too intense, she was too intense, I had to look away.  


“If I told you, I’d have to kill you.” She let out a laugh, a genuine laugh, it shocked me to my core. What I’d give to hear that again.  


“No you wouldn’t.” She was playing with the phone in her hands, still tapping away.  


“No I wouldn’t, but I would have to get you to sign an NDA.” She stopped tapping her phone and looked up at me, I turned away, unable to meet her eyes.  


She knew not to push the subject, we both did. But we also both knew that we had reached a pivotal moment, a mutual understanding that everything had changed. Maybe she finally believed me, maybe I could walk the set without listening to any snide remarks, maybe I could stop feeling like I’m walking on eggs shells when I’m in the hair and make up studio. Maybe this is my second chance.  


We stayed, silent and still. If felt like hours had passed but we both knew it had only been about 20 minutes.  


I tried to called Raven multiple times but it was useless. I checked my phone, 12% battery left. Cursing the longevity of my phone, I decided to end the silence.  


“Have you been able to get in contact with anyone?” She jumped at the sound of my voice, “sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you”.  


She sat up straighter and shuck her head, there’s no way she was comfortable on the floor, I felt guilty for not even offering her space on the sofa.  


“Do you want a drink or anything? I have stuff stored away in here somewhere.” I got up and stretched my arms above my head, enjoying the euphoria that spread across my limbs. She hadn’t answered me so I turned around, about to repeat my question but the words died on my lips. She was watching me, I looked away and decided to hand her a bottled water anyway.  


I bent over, grabbed two and headed over to where she was sat. I was about to hand over the water but changed my mind, offering my hand instead. She looked at the offering and questioned me silently.  


“You can’t be comfy sat there, get up.” She nodded her head once, took my hand and pulled herself up.  


“I managed to send one text, but they haven’t replied, and I’m not expecting a reply either. Looks like we’re in here for the night.” She dusted herself off and grabbed a water from my hand, “thanks.”  


I smiled at her, “it’s your turn for the sofa, I don’t mind the floor for a while.” She nodded her head once again and sat where I was sitting. She bounced a bit, seemed to be enjoying the padded seat below her.  


“I think we’re both mature enough to be able to share a sofa, don’t you?” She made a point by moving closer to the arm, curling her legs under her.  


“I suppose you’re right.” I tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear and moved to sit beside her. I was used to being in her space for work purposes, but never out of choice.  


I sat down, leaning my head against my hand, “so why hair and make up?” She looked over at me, still and stoic again.  


“Why acting?” I shrugged my shoulders, “it was the appeal of playing someone I knew I couldn’t play in real life.” I stretched my legs out onto the table in front of us and shifted myself down, but I couldn’t get comfy.  


“I’ve done a bit of acting, but it was never for me.” That shocked me.  


“Why?” She unlocked her phone, stared at it and locked it again, throwing it next to her. “There were too many eyes on me, too many expectations. I started to appreciate the creation of characters, rather than playing them out. And here I am.”  


I wanted to know more, but I wasn’t sure how far I could push her, there was so much to learn.  


I shifted again, returning my feet under me at a different angle, the light outside the trailer was getting darker and darker, it was going to be night soon. The earlier the night comes, the earlier the morning comes.  


“Are you happy, with hair and make up?” I reckoned a little pushing couldn’t hurt.  


“I am, much to the chagrin of my parents.” A sentiment I could understand.  


“Parents who don’t agree with the entertainment industry?” She let out a light laugh.  


“Completely the opposite. My parents wanted me to have the fame and fortune, but I preferred to stay out of the limelight.” She shifted down on the sofa, I guess neither of us are comfy.  


“I don’t think I’ve heard of that before.” I rubbed the back of my neck, watching her for a reply.  


“You’ve never met my family before then.” She answered with a bitter laugh.  


“Surely they can’t be that bad?” I enquired.  


“No, as parents go they could be worse, it just took them a while to realise I didn’t want to follow in their footsteps.” I understood what she meant, but I still wanted to know more.  


I unfurled my legs again and dropped them on the floor trying to figure out how I could get comfy. I must have annoyed her with my constant shuffling.  


“For goodness sake, just put your head here and throw your legs over the arm.” I froze and looked at her.  


“Are – are you sure?” I asked, I didn’t want to make things any more awkward than they’ve been.  


“If it stops you from moving and disturbing me, then it’s in my best interests.” She sat up straighter, giving me room to move. “Besides, I doubt you bite,” She said with a cheeky grin. So that’s how she wants to play it.  


“Much,” I winked in return before laying my head down. I rolled over to my back, ignoring the tiniest moan she let out as my head pushed further in her lap. I’d have to store that sound for a rainy night.  


I sat up slightly to remove my hoody, it was big enough to drape over myself as a blanket. One arm at a time I peeled it off and leant back down onto Lexa with more force than planned. She let out an “oof” followed by a tiny moan.  


“If you do that one more time Clarke I will move you.” She grumbled, I could only laugh at her.  


“I didn’t think you’d mind manhandling me into a better position.” I smirked, expecting her not to play along with my flirting.  


She looked down at me, trailing a finger along my neck to my collarbone, gently biting her lip, “I don’t think you’d be able to cope if I manhandled you into a better position.”  


Well fuck.


	12. Part 12

My breath hitched, and from her raised eyebrow, she felt it through the finger that was still tracing my collarbone.  


I bit my bottom lip, debating whether to take this further or not. Oh how I wanted to, jesus I wanted to so badly. She noticed my trapped lip and mirrored it, her eyebrows screwed together slightly.  


“I guess there’s only one way to find out.” There, I said it. I put it out there.  


She closed her eyes, letting out a shallow breath, I guess this is affecting her too. She opened her eyes and I was blown away, they sparkled with a teasing glint, it drew me in, I couldn’t look away.  


I leant up on my elbows, finally releasing my own trapped lip and soothing it with my tongue. I watched as she followed the movement. She leant down slightly before stopping.  


“I guess there is.” She smiled. I reached up showing her I was more than ready, nuzzling my face in the bottom of her neck. Fuck she smelt good. I ran my nose along her collarbone, gently biting it as I went. I could feel her heartbeat thumping against her chest. I bit down again, enjoying how her heartbeat increased.  


She tilted her head to the side, inviting me in further. I took the invitation with glee and increased the biting, leaning up further to play with her neck but she pulled away.  


“If only you weren’t with Raven.” She stood up and left me high and dry. Well, not quite dry.  


I dropped back down to my back and moaned my frustrations into my hands. I watched as she walked away from me, she leant against the kitchen counter, subtly rubbing her legs together. My guess is she was as wet as I am, I felt my hips buck up instinctively at the thought, I let out a small moan with it.  


Lexa heard, she dropped her head to the counter and shifted her legs again, she wasn’t hiding her frustrations anymore, and neither was I.  


I dropped my hands from my face, landed them on my stomach. Unable to take my eyes away from her, I watched as she squirmed against the side, it only turned me on more.  


I played with the sliver of skin between my top and jeans, pulling my top higher to create more space. I circled along my skin, enjoying the goosebumps that I raised. I shivered with a chill which caught Lexa’s attention, her eyebrows raised, she was watching my finger as I played with my stomach.  


She continued to rub her thighs together, trying to create any sort of friction between her legs, how I wanted to be that friction.  


I moved my fingers lower, watching her as she watched me. Watching how her eyes darkened when I reached my jeans. Watching how she squirming stopped when I unhooked my button. Watching how her knees buckled from beneath her when I lowered my zip. Watching how she bit her lip and moaned loudly when my hand disappeared below my pants.  


My eyes closed automatically, enjoying the sensation of wetness coating my fingers. I remembered who was watching as I opened them again, she hadn’t moved a muscle, still watching me intently, determined not to miss a thing.  


I pushed my fingers lower and gasped as they reached my hard nub, I bit my lip trying to stifle a moan but it was fruitless. Lexa’s mouth dropped open and her eyes rolled slightly, not enough to miss any of my movements, but just enough to show how turned on I was making her.  


I circled the hard button, my body wanted more but I didn’t give in. I needed to drag this out, who knew when I would get another chance.  


I dipped my fingers lower but groaned, my jeans were restricting my movements. I returned to my clit, moaning when my fingers pressed down gently. I wasn’t going to last much longer.  


Lexa’s head was still lowered, her knuckles white from gripping hard onto the kitchen counter, her legs were continually rubbing together. She released one hand and trailed it to the top of her jeans, her eyes impossibly grew darker. Determined, she quickly released her confinement and thrust her hand lower. Her head lifted up instantly and a moan escaped her lips, she turned her head and looked at me again, excited.  


A sound resonated from my phone on the table, I ignored it. Nothing was going to stop me.  


I increased my speed, hips moving with my hands, just like Lexa’s were. Eyes wide in pleasure, just like Lexa’s were. Hands chasing my pleasure, drawing out moans from my mouth, just like Lexa’s were.  


The same sound resonated from my phone again, I groaned, ignoring it again. I was so close.  


My eyebrows screwed together, fuck. My fingers were slipping over my nub, catching it in all directions. I felt my stomach clench, my toes started to tingle, my legs went numb, this was it.  


Before I was able to push myself over the edge, I took one more look between Lexa’s eyes and her hands, I was right there. So close, just a tiny bit more.  


That’s when I heard it.  


“CLARKE? ARE YOU IN THERE?” Raven? Was that Raven? Shit! I felt my orgasm slowly start to dissipate. Lexa had heard it too.  


BANG  


The trailer was shaking. She was trying to get in. Fuck she was trying to get me out of here.  


I scrambled to get up, buttoning up my trousers as I went. I looked over to Lexa, her hand had stopped moving, but she was still leant on the counter.  


“Clarke?” The trailer shook again.  


“I’m here.” My voice was wobbly, I wanted to stand up but I couldn’t feel my legs. My clit was throbbing and my head was spinning. I ran my hands through my hair, trying to make myself more presentable.  


Lexa still hadn’t moved.  


One with final shake, the door to my trailer burst open for the second time that night. Raven rushed through the door.  


“Clarke! I was so worried! I got all these missed calls, you weren’t at your house or picking up your phone, this was a last resort and...” She cut off, noticing we were alone.  


“Lexa?” She asked, obviously confused. “What are you doing here?”  


Lexa stood up and ignored Raven. She faced me, bitter and devastation seeped from every pour, she dropped her head, shaking it in disbelief.  


“Your girlfriend saved the day Clarke, are you not going to thank her?” She looked up at me, eyes darkened only this time in disappointment. She stepped back, still ignoring Raven, and left without another word.


	13. Part 13

Minutes passed and Raven still stood there, silently waiting. My mind was reeling, my clit still throbbing. Raven shifted from one leg to another, we both knew she wasn’t going to let me leave without an explanation.  


I stood up abruptly, shaking my arms in an attempt to relax.  


“Okay, so I don’t think we need to worry about Lexa thinking I’m homophobic anymore.” It was a start, and from Raven’s reaction, it was not the start she was expecting.  


“Really?” She untucked her arms and stood up straighter, eyeing me with precaution. “And that’s a bad thing how?”  


I rubbed the back of my neck and tried to think of the best way to word it. “It’s not?” Shit, I don’t know.  


Raven turned around and walked over to the sofa, taking a seat she looked up to me, “start at the beginning.”  


I took a seat and laughed at myself, how did I manage to get myself on this situation?  


“I got trapped in here, Lexa heard, came to rescue me, Lexa then got trapped in here with me.” Raven nodded along.  


“Okay, but that doesn’t explain the palpable tension in the room.” She tilted her head, and again waited for an explanation.  


“There was potentially a risk of orgasms but don’t worry, you made sure that didn’t happen.” I muffled into my hands.  


“Right... “ She ran her hands up and down her legs, “so I definitely interrupted something.” Her eyebrow lifted at me and she bit her lip to stop a smile being spread across her face.  


I slumped down further into the sofa, nodding as I went. She was unable to hide her smile any longer.  


“Well damn Clarke.” I huffed at her and threw my head back leaning it against the back of the sofa.  


“Damn Raven more like, you came just before I did.” She snorted at me, full blown laughing now. A smile spread across my face, okay it was a little funny. She leant her head back mirroring mine.  


“So why is it a bad thing?” She asked, turning her head to look at me.  


“I can’t tell her Raven.” I resigned. She turned her body to face me, sliding her hand under head to lean on.  


“Why not?” She enquired. I took a breath, the burden of the situation was falling heavily onto me. Could I tell her? Would she keep my secret? Our secret? It was all I wanted right now, she was all I wanted right now. But who was she? There was something lingering behind her facade. She held back from everyone, keeping everyone more than an arms length away. But why?  


“Telling O was one thing, you know what she’s like with secrets.” Ever since her rough hidden upbringing, she was always a trustworthy person. “But who is Lexa really? Apart from being breath-taking, I don’t know her.” I could see my words resonating deep with Raven. “Anya would absolutely skin me alive if anything else gets out.”  


“What makes you think that she will tell people?” She asked me.  


“I don’t know.” I answered.  


“What if you tell her and she doesn’t tell anyone?” She buried herself in the sofa, getting comfier.  


“What if I tell her and she tells everyone?” I counteracted. “I don’t know either way.” I leant forward, resting my head on her shoulder.  


“Well at least we know that she’s into you!” I laughed into her, snuggling in further as a silent thank you for trying to lighten the mood.  


“She’s definitely into me, that I know for sure.” She wrapped her arm around me, pulling my in closer.  


“Okay so what do we know about the situation? Let’s summarise.” She squeezed my sides, letting me know it would be okay.  


“1. She thought you were homophobic.  


2\. She thought you were hiding your homophobia by being in a relationship with me.  


3\. Something happened tonight which, unless she’s blind, is an indication that you’re not entirely straight, therefore putting a big kibosh to the homophobia theory.  


4\. You’re so into her it leeks out of every pore, and you want to tell her the truth but you don’t know if you can trust her.  


5\. So really, thinking about it, she’s either going to think that you’re playing her and you are a homophobe, or that you’re not a homophobe, not straight, and in a committed relationship with me.  


Wow Clarke, you’re screwed.” She finalised.  


I groaned at her realisation and push myself up. I had had enough of this pity party.  


Slapping my knees in a motion of encouragement, I grabbed Ravens hands and held them in mine.  


“I have a bottle of wine at home with my name on it. Fancy joining me in a ‘coming out party’?” Her face instantly lit up at that idea, but then dropped suddenly.  


“I would love to, but I think we’ve forgotten about something.” I looked around to try and figure out what Raven could be on about before looking back at her.  


“The door.” FUCK.  


We both looked across at it, Raven laughed when she saw it closed shut. “Well that doesn’t look good” she deadpanned.  


I shot up and jogged over to it, inspecting it as I went. It was shut alright, the door and seal weren’t aligned and I could faintly see the dislodged being of frame Lexa was talking about jammed into the frame of the trailer. It didn’t look good.  


I pulled once, twice, three times again. Nothing.  


“I can tell you from experience that the only way were getting through that door is if someone from outside opens it.” Raven groaned and fell back against the sofa in disappointment. “Looks like we’re stuck here for the night.”  


I checked my watch, there’s no way anyone will hear us on set at this time. I walked back over to the sofa and lay down, resting my head against Ravens lap. I chuckled to myself, it wasn’t that long ago I was doing this with Lexa. 

_________________________________________________________ 

 

We managed to get a few hours sleep before Ravens ringtone woke us up. Raven had fallen asleep sitting up and I was still sprawled out across her lap. I sat up after finally hearing voices outside. Raven must have heard them too as she soon shot to the door.  


“Hello? Can someone help us please! We’re locked in here!” I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes, wondering how the hell Raven had so much energy at this time.  


Stretching, I rolled onto my stomach and grumbled my displeasure into the sofa cushion. I needed my bed desperately. I pushed myself up, leaning on my haunches and watched Raven, silently pleading that her gallant efforts paid off. I had spent far too long in this trailer.  


I stood up, pocketing my phone and shouldered my jacket. Walking over to Raven I continued to stretch, shaking the slumber from my bones. She knocked on the door again and repeated her previous statement, I stood behind her and awaited a much desired response.  


“Hello?” We both sighed with relief, fucking finally.  


“YES! Please can you kick the door open? It’s jammed!” Raven pleaded. I stood back giving the rescuer room to work, a routine I remembered from last night. Raven followed my direction and we waited with a baited breath.  


A familiar shake of the trailer rocked us several times, I pushed Raven out of the way, readying myself to catch the door when I finally sprung open.  


I didn’t have to wait long before I lurched forward and gripped onto the door with too much might. I smiled with more relief and leant my head against the door. Feeling Raven push passed me caught my attention, I watched as she skipped out in front of my, as if she hadn’t seen the world for far longer than one night only. My smile only spread further as I continued staring at the glee she was producing.  


“Busy night girls?” I looked over and saw Kane walking over to us. “You look far too happy, good night I take it?” He asked with a sly smile on his face. I’m guessing he was trying to keep up pretences too.  


I raised my eyebrow at him, fully prepared to shoot him down before I was rudely interrupted by a wolf whistle aimed at our direction. I looked around but was unable to find the source, I turned to Raven who had obviously heard the same sound. She shrugged a sole shoulder and was about to walk away before we heard it again.  


“If the trailers a’rockin’, don’t come a’knockin’.” Oh great. Just what I needed, further rumours being spread around the set. The still unfounded voice causes several laughs from those who heard and I couldn’t stop as a blush spread across my cheeks.  


“Should we send the cleaners in or just burn the thing down?” Another voice joined in, making me want to drown in a sea of embarrassment, I looked across to Kane with a pleading look but he refused to make eye contact. Fully aware of the rumours that were going to spread like wildfire, he walked off leaving Raven and I to deal with this alone.  


“Ha Ha guys,” I faked laughed, “very funny. Can someone see if maintenance are in please?” I asked to the general crowd, still unaware of who was around.  


“Damn blondie, you seriously broke the thing? Go Raven!” I looked across at Raven who was surprisingly sporting a very proud look, fucks sake.  


I let out an unimpressed huff, “go Clarke more like.” I had to rid the boasting smirk off her face.  


“Oh really?” Another voice joined, I needed to leave, or at least put an end to this before it got out of hand.  


“Anyway guys, maintenance?” I asked, hopefully someone know someone who could help us out.  


“I’ll only radio them if you tell me who’s on top in bed between you guys?” I was fully prepared to shoot that question straight down but Raven beat me to it.  


“FUCK OFF MATE” Thank God for Raven. I spun around to thank Raven but my eyes never made it. Standing there in all her glory, stood Lexa. Watching this exchange of slur words between Raven and a hot headed B-Crew prick. Her face was as always stoic, void of any emotion whereas mine, I could feel, was portraying far too much.  


Ignore them, I pleaded. Walk away, I pleaded. Please, I pleaded. But she refused. She stood, continuing to watch the back and forth, why wasn’t she leaving? What was she thinking? This couldn’t be good.  


I couldn’t watch this. She was watching a completely wrong interpretation of my currently non existent sex life with Raven, which took place not even a night after my encounter with her. She must know that there’s something between us, she must feel this too, she has to.  


I couldn’t watch this. She’s going to think completely wrong about me. I didn’t have sex with Raven last night, I didn’t continue our encounter with Raven. I didn’t replace you with her. I continued pleading with my eyes, begging her to take no notice.  


I couldn’t watch this. Raven was still shouting expletives at the unidentified horny teenage males. Raven was still trying to win the argument without giving away too much information. But at this stage, any information was too much information.  


I couldn’t watch this. Lexa’s eyes were bouncing between Raven and I. My own eyes starting tearing up, I seriously couldn’t watch this anymore. I spun on my heels and high-tailed it out of the set. I ran to my car, I fished the keys out of my bag, still running. I couldn’t help but replay the look of indifference on Lexa’s face.  


I felt a fool. I felt ashamed and lonely in this new discovery, did she seriously not feel the same as I did? Did I make this all up? Was this some sort of cruel trick played by my own cruel imagination? Fuck this. Fuck this shit.  


I finally reached my car, remotely unlocking it as I prepared to enter and speed away, a hand on my bicep stopped me and pulled me back.  


“Wha..” I started, but I was abruptly stopped.  


A kiss. What?  


I pulled back to see Lexa looking at me, a face of indifference was replaced by worry and need.  


This time it was me who couldn’t look away.  


This time is was me who’s eyes flickered back and forth.  


“Lexa?” I didn’t know what I was asking.  


She leant forward, resting her forehead against mine, and never said a word.  


She brought a finger up to my lips to seal them shut, still not saying a word.  


She leant forward, and slowly replaced her finger with her lips. Gentle and possessive. Needy yet shy. Pushing yet holding back.  


Still not saying a word.


	14. Part 14

She pulled back but rested her forehead against mine, continuing to stare at my lips, why did she stop? Fuck.  


I reached up and slowly traced where hers had been. I watched as Lexa continued to stare at my lips. Her eyes hadn’t moved, she was still staring at my lips, biting hers as she did.  


I was too scared to move, too scared to breathe or speak. I didn’t want to ruin the moment.  


But, fuck, she kissed me.  


Lexa kissed me. And as glorious as it was, it was short lived. I wanted more, I needed more.  


I dropped my hand from my lips and moved it to her face. I laid it gently against her cheek, still scared I would spook her out of this spell.  


I could feel her shallow breathing against my hand. She was affected just like I was. As much as she hid them, she had feelings just like I did.  


I watched as her mouth dropped open, on the edge of speaking, but no words left. Her eyes finally dropped from my lips, I felt her shake her head at herself. I waited, I waited until she was finally able to speak. I would wait a thousand years for her to speak, for her to be comfortable enough to tell me what she’s thinking, to tell me what she’s feeling.  


Her eyes raised to mine, instantly removing any air from my lungs as my knees buckled from beneath me. Jesus, what a fucking reaction.  


I almost rolled my eyes to myself in exasperation but managed to contain it.  


“Don’t tell Raven.” It was so quiet I also missed it. It was a plea. A plea directly from Lexa. I questioned her with a slight tilt of my head, unable to trust any words that may have left my mouth.  


“Just, whatever happens, don’t tell Raven.” I had never seen such want in her eyes, still unable to speak, I slowly nodded my head.  


She gently released a sign of content which I relished in as it covered my Face.  


I didn’t know what I was happier about; the fact that Lexa kissed me, the fact that I was able to read Lexa like a book, or the fact that she wanted something from me, from me!  


Inside I was jumping for joy, but I was still scared to show this on the outside.  


I nodded my head again, stronger this time, more emphasis, and simply watched as a slow and elegant smile covered her face. I felt her cheek strain against my palm which was still covering it.  


I couldn’t help but smile in return.  


She was beautiful. Truly beautiful.  


I could feel myself leaning in, watching as her lips, as her eyes, grew closer to mine. I was unable to control myself, unable to stop myself from being closer to her. Everything about her drew me in, and I was all too ready for it. All too ready for her.  


My eyes closed in preparation at the same time as my tongue caressed my own lips, ensuring they weren’t too dry for what was about to happen.  


I could feel her presence, she was so close to me but at the same time, not close enough.  


I moved my spare hand to her hip and pulled her in closer, all too happy to drown in the littlest of moans which escaped her.  


She was my downfall, and I was happy to admit that.  


Unable to contain myself any longer, I pressed forward, pushing my bottom lip between her two, begging for it to be taken. She took the hint and bit down on it, slowly flicking her tongue over it.  


I let off an embarrassingly loud moan and let her continue the assault. After biting my lip she gentle sucked it into her mouth, paying far too much attention to it. I smiled at that understanding; she had a thing for my lips.  


I would definitely play on that in the future, however now was not the time.  


I pushed forward again, opening my mouth as an invitation for her tongue to take control. I needed it all over my body, in every nook and cranny, in every crease and hole, I needed it pleasuring me in ways I knew she could deliver. And I knew my mouth was a great precursor to what she was going to put me through.  


She granted me pleasure, ever so slightly tickling my top lip as she dragged her tongue all around it. She was teasing me, she was making me want more and fuck, I knew I wanted it.  


I moaned again, pushing myself against her. I was presenting myself, opening myself up. Take me, Lexa. Fucking take me.  


She took the invitation, enthusiastically, and pushed me against my car door. Her body pressed against mine, her breath mixed with mine, tangled together in nothing but want and need.  


Her hands cradled my head, leaning against the car. I could feel her holding back and how I wish she wasn’t so.  


I removed my hand from her cheek and grabbed her wrist. Ringing my fingers around it and peeling it away from the car. Fuck it Clarke, do it.  


I placed it against my shoulder, letting her feeling me, begging her to feel me. Still holding her hand, I pushed my top away, needing to feel her skin against mine.  


As soon as I could feel her palm against me I pushed it lower, knowing she would take the hint and continue the descent.  


She moaned against my lips and I smiled, she took the hint.  


I removed my hand that was resting against her hip, reaching around the car before finally finding what I was looking for, the car door handle.  


I pulled it towards myself opening it up. She realised what I was doing and leant off me, giving me room to manoeuvre around the door.  


She watched as I entered the back seat, shuffling further into the car. She stood there waiting as I slowly opened my legs, challenging her to take the invitation, to take me.  


Her eyes dropped lower and I couldn’t help but smile as I saw her follow the path of my legs up to the crease between my thighs.  


She wanted this.  


I spread my legs further, spreading a smile across my face at the same time. She knew I was ready and from her reaction, she was ready too.  


She crawled forward, like a predator stalking their pray, I was ready to be devoured.  


She lifted one knee, resting it against the back seat, ready to pull herself up before we heard it.  


“Has anyone got eyes on Clarke?” No. No, no, no, no.  


Her eyes dropped, figuring out where the sound was coming from, she eyed her radio, pure disgust radiating from her.  


Lifting her eyes up, she looked at me. She didn’t know what to do. Pretend she hasn’t heard me? Giving us several more minutes together. Or continue, only to be interrupted later?  


Her fingers twitched against the car door, the crease in her eyebrows grew deeper. She continued staring at me. We both knew what each other wanted right now.  


“She was headed over to the car lot about 15 minutes ago.” Someone answered.  


Fuck.  


“She might still be there? I’ll head over. Thanks, over.” Kane replied to anonymous voice.  


Double fuck.  


Lexa pulled away from the car door, ensuring it stayed open for me to climb out. I did so ungratefully, annoyed beyond belief at being interrupted.  


Finally out of the car, I smoothed down my jacket, trying to make it look like I hadn’t just been ready to be fucked in a car. Whether I was successful or not, I wasn’t too sure.  


I heard my name being faintly called from the side, I looked over to see Kane walking towards me with a smile on his face, waving far too happily.  


I looked back to Lexa, “I’m sorry.”  


I couldn’t help but apologise, this was another bad timing situation. Incredibly bad timing. She nodded her head once in understanding, I could see her stoic wall begin to rebuild. She was closing off and I was once again powerless to stop it.  


She took one final step back, seeing that Kane was only a few seconds away, looked back at me again.  


“Don’t tell Raven.”


	15. Part 15

“Clarke! Fantastic, I’m glad I found you!” I was barely able to listen to Kane, paying far too much attention to the site of Lexa walking away from me, yet again.  


“Listen the writers have thrown a few things together already, they’re faxing them over to me as we speak. Get Raven, both of you have finished for today so I want you to look over everything and provide any notes by 9 tonight.” He ran his hands through his hair and flipped several pages over on his notepad, “make your way over to my tent and just grab the papers.” He left without saying another word.  


I looked at the time on my phone, it was just gone 12, that gave us plenty of time to sort it all out. It was finally happening and for once, I allowed myself to get excited.  


I called Raven, listening to the ring tone as I made my way back on set, luckily I didn’t have to wait long before she picked up.  


“Hey, you okay?” I continued to look around, trying to find her.  


“Yeh, Kane said we’re done for the day, where abouts are you? I still couldn’t find her so I made way to Kane tent.  


“Food cart.” I laughed, I should have known, “meet me outside Kane’s tent, I’m on my way there now.”  


“Roger that.” She hung up the phone just as I reached the tent.  


I entered the tent, figuring out that Raven will come in when she’s near. I looked around and spotted the fax machine, I skipped over to it smiling as I saw a fax being received.  


“This must be for me” I said to no one in particular.  


I picked up the piece of paper fully expecting it to be the writers notes, I was wrong.  


“What the?” I took a closer look, it was a scanned check. Why would someone scan a check? And for, “woah”, a huge amount of money.  


“Is that our notes?” I turned around and saw Raven walking through the door.  


“Nope..” She must have sensed my confusion as she walked right up beside me, looking at the same piece of paper I was over my shoulder.  


She let out an impressed whistle, “daaaamn. Who’s that for?”  


I turned the paper over, trying to find any sort of indication who the check was made out to. Before I could answer, I was cut off by the sound of a second fax being received.  


“I don’t know, maybe it will say on that?” I pointed to the second fax coming through. Placing the first piece of paper on Kanes desk, we waited until it was finished printing.  


“Come onnnn.” Raven was almost as impatient as I was. I could feel her tapping her foot behind me and laughed at her.  


“There we go.” It had barely finished and Raven had already jumped in front of me and snatched the paper from the machine.  


“Fucking hell Clarke, it’s from Indra Woods. THE Indra Woods!” Raven was jumping up and down a this information.  


“WHAT??” I asked, what was Indra Woods, the most award winning actress within the last 50 years doing sending a check to Kane?  


“What does it say?” I tried to peek over Ravens shoulder but she was still too busy jumping around, “Christ Raven.” I stood a step back before she injured me.  


She turned around to face me and started reading it out. “Kane, I hope the amount is sufficient enough to buy your silence. Please send details of a payee, and keep me updated on the progress report.” She took a breather before continuing, “I do not need to remind you of the importance of this mission, she cannot find out my role behind all of this.” She stopped again, who was this letter about? “Do not let me down Kane.”  


She handed the paper over to me, it was signed Indra Woods at the bottom, what was this?  


“Do you think this is just her investing some money into the show?” I asked Raven.  


“I’m not sure, she’s talking about buying silence and whatever it’s about, it seems personal. It doesn’t read like she’s just being a silent partner.” I hummed in response.  


The sound of the fax machine startled us and Raven reached forward, reading the words as they were printed out.  


“This one’s ours.” She again waited impatiently for all 4 pages to come out of the fax. I kept shifting from one foot to another, feeling my level of patience rivalling Ravens.  


“Got it!” She spun around and pushed the paper against my chest whilst snatching the letter from Indra and the check from Kane’s desk. “I’m just gonna put these on the fax, make it look like we never saw it.” She lay them face down, making sure everything was perfect.  


“Good plan!” I put the papers in my bag, “come on, let’s go back to mine to look these over.”  


Raven linked her arm through mine, mindlessly chatting about what food we want for lunch as we made our way across the set to my car.  


“Did you drive today?” I asked her.  


She shook her head, “car shared with O.”  


I fished out my keys from my bag and opened the door. All I could think about is what happened here barely an hour ago.  


“So Lexa kissed me.” I informed Raven, laughing as her whipped her head around and stared incredulously at me.  


“What? When?” She asked.  


“About an hour ago, when you were making up shit about topping me in the bedroom.” She laughed at me.  


“I wasn’t really making shit up if you remember correctly, and this is huge! So it’s safe to say that she’s cottoned onto you not being straight and/or homophobic?”  


I blushed, refused to acknowledge the first bit of her reply, “yes, I think something is happened between us and I don’t know what to do.” Turning the keys in the engine, I set off driving.  


Raven didn’t reply, I looked over to see her eyebrows furrowed in thought.  


“She said not to tell you.” I flicked my eyes back to the road, cursing myself at my carelessness. “She said it a few times actually. She really must think we’re in a relationship.”  


Raven laughed, followed by a deep sigh. “Shitty situation Clarke. Are you going to tell her?”  


I changed gears in the car, “I want to, I will do, eventually. I just need to make sure she won’t tell anyone first.”  


I pulled into my apartment parking lot and shut off the engine.  


“How are you going to do that?” Raven asked as she climbed out of the car.  


“I have no fucking clue.”


	16. Part 16

We finally made it to Ravens place, luckily the paparazzi had grown bored of us so it was a clean entry.  


Walking through her front door, I made my way to her living room and dramatically dropped myself on her sofa with a sigh leaving my lips.  


“Coffee?” Raven shouted out from the kitchen area.  


“Of course!” I answered.  


I sat up slightly and retrieved the faxed papers from my bag. I barely had a chance to look over them before Raven caught my attention. My eyes were instantly drawn to the steaming cups in her hands, I dropped the papers on my lap and held out both hands immaturely.  


“Gimme.” I pleaded, shaking my hands. Raven laughed in return and handed one over before taking a seat next to me.  


“So,” she started, “these are the notes from the writers.” She glanced down at the papers still sprawled across my lap.  


“Yup.” I took a small sip of my coffee, savouring the taste filling my mouth. I set it down on the table, making sure there was a coaster in place.  


“Right, let’s see what they’re wanting to do with us.”

________________________________________________________ 

 

We had been reading and re-reading for a while now. I was just about to start again when Raven interrupted me.  


“It all seems very basic, straight forward, pretty easy.” I nodded my head with her, she was right.  


“Two friends finding comfort in each other, not that far from the truth. It’s also pretty relatable so that’s a good thing.” I turned the papers over making sure I hadn’t missed anything. “There’s a few make out scenes with the possibility of something more. Should be too hard I suppose?” I looked over at Raven, gauging her reaction.  


“Sure, it’s not like we haven’t done if before!” I laughed and agreed with her.  


I put my feet up on the table in front of me getting comfy. “So when does shooting start?” I asked her.  


She copied my movements getting comfy herself, “I’m not too sure, I’ll text Jaha now, see if he knows anything.” She reached over and started taping away on her phone. I grabbed the TV remote and turned on E! hoping to catch some celebrity juicy gossip.  


“Raven look! Life stories on Indra Woods! It’s just started!” I moved my legs off the table and sat forward, resting my elbows on me knees I sit uncomfortably close to the TV. I barely noticed Raven putting the phone down next to her and again, copying my position.  


_“She’s the most decorated TV and Movie actress of our time. With over 50 prestigious awards all showing her dedication and skills towards her passion, Indra Woods is an activist, a trailblazer and a superstar. But who is she really? Her husband, Gus, a well renowned writer and producer are rarely seen outside the silver screen. They’re obvious distaste of their private lives being broadcasted has made them and their family one of the most sought after stories in years. Keep watching E! as we try to uncover The Real Indra Woods.”  
_

I laughed as Raven squealed next to me, “maybe this will give us some insight to that letter and check she sent Kane!”  


After the opening credits, the narrative continued.  


_“Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the past decade, everyone is a fan of Indra Woods. The roles she plays on screen often help those off-screen, making her a role model for so many minorities. She has single handily revolutionised Hollywood in not backing down when it comes to any obstacles put in her way. One of those being, of course, is her very private, private life.”  
_

Raven repeatedly hit my arm in excitement and I couldn’t help but let some of it rub off on me. I didn’t know anyone who hadn’t looked up to Indra Woods at some point of their life, and we were no exception.  


_"All that is known about Indra and Gus is that they have one child, a daughter. A secret that wasn’t very well hidden when Indra got rushed to hospital after a home birth complication 24 years ago. Luckily all parties were safe and sound, however that was the last news we had heard about either family member up till 3 years ago.. .”  
_

We both jumped when Raven’s phone signalled an incoming text message.  


“It’s Kane” she started, “and oh wow, okay so we’re starting to shoot tomorrow. We were supposed to let him know 10 minutes ago if we had anymore ideas about the storyline.”  


I glanced over to her, “oops.”  


“I’ll just text him back, say that everything is fine and we will see him on set at 7.” She texted as she spoke, hopefully we didn’t delay anything.  


“Sorted. Tomorrow it is then!” I looked back at the TV, “shit, we missed something, rewind it!”  


Raven did as instructed, playing it from where we got distracted.  


_“When it got leaked that their daughter was following in the footsteps of her famous parents.”  
_

“What?!” Raven gaped.  


_"Who the daughter is, was never released with the news. Speculation send the mediasphere alight and everyone from Jennifer Law to Lindsey Lohan were bought under severe scrutiny when trying to decipher the true identity. I’m afraid that after all of the speculation that’s still happening, you’re going to finish watching this programme, unfortunately, non the wiser. Is she an actress? A writer? A producer? A director? Is she a no one? A teacher? A bus driver? Hopefully you will be able to come up with? Let us know on Twitter with #TheYoungestWoods.”  
_

Raven looked over at me, glee spread on her face and a bounce in her body, “are you ready for this? Who do you think it is?”  


I bounced with her, “I didn’t even know she had a daughter! Who do.. “ Raven cut me off.  


“Wait. Isn’t Lexa’s last name Woods? You don’t think...” she trailed off. I docked my head to the side, thinking about her accusation.  


“No, surely not.” I squinted my eyes in thought. “It can’t possibly be.”  


“Why not?”  


_"So what exactly do we know about her daughter? She’s following their footsteps, but that isn’t the only thing.”  
_

Raven stopped bouncing, paying all attention to the TV.  


_"The same source who leaked the daughters profession, if it is in fact true, has also confirmed that both parents are unhappy with the career path she has chosen. Juicy or what? Stay tuned to find out more.”  
_

I muted the TV, shocked into silence. Raven apparently didn’t suffer from the same fate.  


“Holy shit. What if it’s Lexa? They sort of have the same complexion, and they share the same last name, and they’re both scary as fuck! Holy shit.”  


I looked over to Raven, still silent, thinking. She did say that she tried acting but chose hair and make up, she also said that her folks weren’t happy with that choice. Wait, she her parents wanted her to do that they did, with the fame and fortune. Raven was right.  


“Holy shit.”


	17. Chapter 17

I had stayed the night at Ravens, contemplating whether or not to tell her that she was right. I chose not to. If I was correct in my discovery, then it really wasn’t my place to say anything to anyone. I knew what it was like to hold a secret, I also knew what it was like to disappoint parents, neither of which is something I want Lexa to feel. But she was. She was holding this secret in, who else knew? Was she alone? Was there no one to share this burden with? I can’t even imagine what it would be like to grow up in the shadows of Indra and Gus Woods, yet here she is.  


Raven pulled into the parking lot, momentarily distracting me from my thoughts, it didn’t last long.  


Should I ask her if it’s true? Should I bring it up at all? Is it even my place to bring it up?  


She pulled her car to a stop and we got out and routinely made our way to the coffee.  


It didn’t take long before I was adding all the required sugar to the cup, ensuring I would be awake in time for first shoot, when Kane came over to Raven and I.  


“Girls! Morning! It’s exactly the same script today the only change up is act 2, we’re going to start with the longing looks today girls, plant the seed but keep the viewers guessing. We’re going to keep that up for three episodes before we start charging things up. New scripts are being written today and will be ready tonight. I’ll leave them on my desk when they’re done to pick them up when they’re ready.” Kane looked as excited as Raven and I were, this was going to get interesting!  


I looked at my watch and was surprised by the time. “Shit Raven come on, we’re gonna be late!”  


I grabbed her hand and made our way to hair and make up. We reached the trailer in no time and opened the door, it was empty.  


“Where’s Lexa?” Raven asked. I shrugged my shoulders silently, looking around for evidence that she was here at some point today but found nothing.  


We sat in our usual chairs and waited patiently. It wasn’t long before the door opened and an unfamiliar face entered.  


“Hey guys, I’m Lucy, hair and make up for today.” What? Where was Lexa?  


Raven must have had the same thoughts, only she voiced them, “Where’s Lexa?”  


The new girl looked up at Raven, “she called in a personal day today, no idea what happened, I don’t actually now the girl, just here covering.”  


It saddened me that she wasn’t here, more than I would have liked to admit. Well, at least I didn’t have to worry about whether or not to bring up the famous family. At least for today. 

_________________________________________________________ 

 

The rest of the day went surprisingly quick. Raven and I had to retake act 2 multiple times in order to get the longing tools perfect. It was fun, and it was fresh, and I was so excited to get this picked up! I could tell Raven was too which made me even happier.  


Shooting had finally commenced for the day, and it was time for Raven and I to pick up our newly redacted script, this made me even more excited.  


I made my way over to Kane’s tent when the voices inside bought me to a stand still.  


Whoever was inside was not happy, raised voices and swearing. I could taste the tension from behind the door.  


“Fuck you, Kane!” Well someone wasn’t happy, wait, was that Lexa?  


Before I could answer myself, the door flew open confirming my thoughts. She stopped before me, I watched as her breath got caught in her throat, Fuck. She was beautiful.  


Kane rushed out after her, not seeming to notice my presence.  


“Lexa I’m sorry, I’ll try and find out who the leak was. Please don’t do anything rash.” She pulled her eyes from me and look over her shoulder giving Kane what I can only assume to be, an evil glare. She gave me one final look before she turned around and left us both, finally giving me my breath back which she stole.  


“What was that about?” I asked Kane as I followed him back inside his tent.  


“Don’t worry about it Clarke.” I nodded my head, keeping shut.  


“Here’s your new script, give one to Raven for me.” He handed over two wads of paper in a sealed envelop, I smiled at the dramatics. “Need anything else?”  


“Nope, we’re all good. See you tomorrow!” Holding the two envelopes close to my chest I made my way back to the coffee, assuming that’s where Raven would be. It wasn’t long before I was proven right.  


“Raven! Look what I’ve got for you!” I shouted across the set. I grinned as Raven ran over to me.  


“Is that it?” She asked, instantly reaching out for the one with her name on it.  


“It sure is. Wanna come back to mine to see how it all happens? “ Raven grabbed my hand and started pulling me to the car lot, taking that as my answer I was happily led on.  


“Of course, but I’m not sure I can wait till long.” She grabbed her keys out of her bag and chucked them in my direction, I surprised myself and caught them with one hand.  


Feeling pathetically proud, I looked up to see if Raven saw, she hadn’t. “So I take it I’m driving whilst you’re reading?”  


She laughed instantly. “Of course!”  


We finally reached the car and I popped in the driving seat, putting the keys in the ignition I looked over to Raven to make sure she was settled.  


All ready buckled in, she had unsealed the envelop and was reading through the script. I laughed at her eagerness and started the short trip home.  


“Okay it’s pretty standard so far, longing looks, and all that crap.” She flipped the page over, “oh look, our first kiss!”  


I looked her way briefly, “who made the first move? How hoes it happen?” I was dying for more details!  


She read a bit further on before stopping. “You do. I get pissed with you flirting with a guy and storm out of a party, you chase me, we exchange heated words with feelings and stuff, then you kiss me.”  


It didn’t sound too hard, “I can do that, is there anything else?”  


She hums as she continues reading through the pages briefly, “doesn’t seem like it. Oh wait, the episode ends with me and you kissing again.”  


Again, didn’t sound too hard. I pulled into my street and slowed the car down, indicating, turning, I finally pulled into my lot. Home time.


	18. Part 18

Raven and I spent the night rehearsing our lines together, wanting to make it perfect for shooting. It took hours to figure out how exactly Kane would want our kiss to be, the angles and movements, the looks and whispers. It was more technical at this stage than romantic, but we had a few days to make sure it was film ready.  


Raven had an early shoot this morning leaving me to make my own coffee and way to work. Unimpressed and tired, I unenthusiastically dressed myself, figuring out that I’m just going to have to redress in costume with Octavia. Fuck it, changing my mind, pyjamas will be fine.  


I rolled out of the parking lot, playing Hozier as I waited for the first of many red lights to turn green. It seems as though all lights are against me this morning, taking me longer to get to work. I checked the time, damn it, I won’t have time to make my routinely morning coffee. Today wasn’t looking like a good day.  


I parked the car and climbed out, stumbling a little as I forgot just how high up my car was. Cursing at myself, I made my way to the hair and make up tent, ungracefully making an entrance as I yet again stumbled through the door. Dropping my items on the floor, I apologised for my lateness, only then just realising the room was empty.  


“Never mind then” I mumbled to no one.  


I took a seat in my usual chair, taking a minute to breath and calm down. I checked the time on my phone and let out another breath, so I wasn’t as late as I thought I would be. I placed my phone on the table in front of me and casually looked at myself. You could tell I hadn’t bothered this morning. I was sporting some lovely bed head styled hair, last night’s make up and this mornings pyjamas. I was a sight for sore eyes, but I couldn’t care less.  


The door opened up and I whipped my head around to see who entered. A smile instantly graced my face, Lexa.  


She hadn’t noticed me yet, which gave me time to watch her. Her fluid movements as she moved around the trailer like a second home, her hair swaying in all directions yet never seeming to displace. I only had several minutes of undisturbed viewing time before she noticed me.  


“Clarke!” She jumped, “how long have you been here?”  


“Since before you got in.” I smiled at her flustered state. She dropped her head, smiling slightly at the situation.  


“No Raven?” She asked, finally be able to look at me.  


“Nope, just me in afraid.” I bit my lip, trying to hide how big of a smile that was threatening to break my face.  


“Good.” She replied, good? I quirked an eyebrow at her choice of word, watching as her eyebrows raised in surprise. “Erm, I meant, no distractions, good...” She tried.  


I let out a small breath of laugh and let her off. “So, hair or makeup first?”  


It woke her up and she turned around, scrambling for what I assumed to be her notes. She bent over as she read them.  


“First scene is in 30 minutes, it’s just after the car chase, they want you flustered, cut up and dishevelled. We’ll start with the make up and go from there.” I nodded my head, made sense, trusting her decision I made myself comfy in the chair.  


Again, I watched her as she emptied her make up bag on the desk in front of me.  


“Okay, you ready?” She asked.  


“Always.” I smirked in reply.  


She picked up the face wipes to start off with, opening the packet and removing a couple she turned to me. “You slept in your make up didn’t you? Don’t make this easy do you?” She asked.  


“Sorry, I had a late night with Raven.” I spoke without thinking, watching as Lexa’s smile dropped from her face, my heart dropped with her. “Not like that! We were just running lines.” Shit.  


She scrunched up the face wipe in her hand, unfolding it with purpose before finally clearing my skin, “it’s fine, you don’t need to explain anything to me.”  


It felt cold, distant. She felt cold and distant.  


“I know, but I want to.” I tried to catch her eyes but could only settle on watching them as concentrated on her movements. “it was strictly professional. Nothing happened.” I tried a final time, it seemed to work if her tight lipped smile was anything to go by.  


“Okay.” She whispered gently. The air was clear again, silent and comfortable as we both settled in our roles, I couldn’t help but smile, knowing we didn’t always have to be talking to be happy.  


“Stop that.” She requested.  


Confusing me, I tilted my head, “stop what?”  


She pulled the wipe from my face and picked up several pieces of expensive equipment.  


“Stop smiling.” She turned back around to me and continued making me look as Kane requested.  


“Why?” I asked her.  


Her movements halted and a shaky breath left her lips quietly, “it’s distracting. You’re distracting.”  


I couldn’t help but smile wider at her words, “I’m distracting?” I questioned. “That’s a bit rich coming from you.”  


Her hand completely dropped from my face, keeping hers close to mine, “meaning?”  


I leant forward, teasingly. “Meaning I’ve struggled to keep composed around you since day one.”  


I closed the distance between us, pressing my lips against hers, feeling her shaky breath ghost me. She pulled back slightly, “what a charmer.” She laughed, “I bet you have everyone falling at your feet.”  


She closed the distance again, stealing my lips in another swift kiss. Closing her lips around my bottom one, gently sulking it in between her teeth. She bit down slightly, drawing a moan out of me, she let it go returning the moan.  


“Not everyone.” I replied, my voice trembling, coated in sex, “Not you.”  


She pulled me closer to her, one hand gripping my hair holding me close to her, another stroking my lips sensually. Back and forth, I opened my mouth wider and sucked her finger in my mouth as it made the return journey. Swirling my tongue over the tip, giving her a hint of what this tongue can do.  


“You’re wrong.” It took me a while to figure out what that was in reply to, I dropped her finger from my mouth, waiting for her to expand.  


“I fell for you as soon as I saw you.”


	19. Part 19

I was stunned to silence, watching emotions swirl around in the sea of green, drawing me closer.  


I could feel my heart beating all over my body, pulsing, vibrating with excitement and need. I couldn’t contain myself any longer and lunged forward, trapping her against the make-up desk. I looked at her one final time waiting for permission.  


A solitary nod, a weightless breath and a flutter of eyelids gave me everything I needed to know. I closed the final gap between us, pressing my lips against hers, wasting no time in massaging her tongue with mine. Quivering, she pulled back slightly, bopping her nose against mine before kissing me again, this time taking control. She leant back on the desk more, opening herself up. I followed her, leaning my hands on her shoulders, falling into her body. She braced me, running her hands up and down my back. Goosebumps escaped making me shiver with excitement, moaning my pleasure into her mouth. She clawed her fingernails into my back in return and I curled into her, slipping one thigh between her two.  


I couldn’t help but push my thigh against her, knowing my goal she spread her legs further inviting me in. I moaned once more which she returned greatly, fuck I needed to hear that sound again. I pushed my thigh into her harder, forcing another moan out of her as she rocked back against me. I felt the moan travel through my body, settling on my throbbing clit. Continuing my assault, I moved my hands down to her chest, feeling her heart quicken as they settle on her covered chest, not stopping me I squeezed timidly, brushing my thumbs over where I assumed her nipples to be. She broke the kiss and threw her head back, letting loose the loudest moan yet. I couldn’t help but squeeze harder, entranced by her reactions. I pushed forward, closing my lips against her neck, trailing them up to her ear before I nibbled on her ear lobe. It had the desired affect.  


Letting out another loud moan, Lexa moved her head to the side giving me more to work with. I take the unchartered territory with pride and such harder, wanting to leave traces of this all over her body.  


She continued rocking into me with great purpose but we could both tell it wasn’t enough. I pulled my hands away from her chest, she noticed immediately. Letting out an unimpressed whine she lifted her head up and fuck, she looked flawless. Her hair was flowing gracefully over her shoulders, her lips were apart and her eyes were black and a look on her face which I knew I was mirroring.  


I pulled my eyes away and looked down to her offended item between our legs, her jeans. I learnt back slightly giving me more room to work with and start unhooking her button, I look back up and see she was watching my hands intently. We both knew what I was up to.  


With a sly smile on my face, I teasingly pulled down her zipper, watching as she took her bottom lip in her mouth, biting down far too hard.  


Once the zipper reached the end I stopped, gauging her reaction. Call me egotistical, but I wanted her pleading, begging for me. I wanted to know that she wanted me as much as I wanted her. I wanted to tease endlessly, and she knew this.  


She took my hand in hers and lifted them to her lips, I watched intently, unable to look away as she took my index and middle finger between her lips, swirling her tongue around them. Fucking hell, Lexa is going to be the death of me.  


She pulled them out of her mouth, replacing them with a smile, “Not that you’re going to need them wetter” she finished with a wink.  


I whined in response.  


Taking my hand, she wasted no time in pushing it down her opened jeans, leaving me to take over. I slipped my hand in her panties, skipping past the coarse hair to my destination. I couldn’t stop to moan that fell out my lips as I felt the wetness coat my fingers.  


“Please, Clarke.” She begged, there it is, there’s the begging I needed.  


I couldn’t hold back any longer and I pushed further down, trembling as I felt her swollen nub beneath me.  


“Fuck, yes!” She loudly exclaimed, forgetting out setting. I pinched experimentally and smiled as her knees buckled from beneath her. I wrapped my spare arm around her, holding her up as I unleashed myself on her. Flicking back and forth, changing the rhythm, keeping her guessing, keeping her begging. I could seriously get used to this.  


“Don’t stop! Fuck!” I had no plans on stopping anytime soon, not when I was getting this reaction. I flickered my eyes from my trapped hand to her face, wanting to watch as she fell over the edge. It didn’t take long before her head was thrown back again, before her mouth dropped open in a scream that never made it, before her eyes rolled back and closed. Her hips were frantic, on fire, her hands were gripped and knuckles white, her breath caught in her throat before finally a scream graced the surface. She fell forward, muffling her sound in my shoulder, biting it as curses fell from her. I could make out my name mixed in with several fucks, don’t stops, and yeses. My eyes rolled back in my head as I felt her clamp down where my neck reached my shoulder as I continued rubbing her clit through her orgasm.  


“Fuck, Lexa.” I could finally feel her slow down and I followed, easing up on her before coming to a stop.  


“Jesus’s Christ, Clarke” she breathlessly moaned against me, “fuck.”  


I seemed to have rendered her unable to speak anything other than swear words, I smiled at the thought.  


The moment was perfect, I buried my nose in her neck and breathed her scent in. She was perfect.  


She eventually lift her head off me and moved back, giving her space to look at me. Her eyes were still as dark as night and lips as red as passion, I could spend forever looking at her and never get bored, she was beauty personified, she was effortless, and all I wanted was for her to be mine.  


The moment was interrupted by a buzzing, her radio that had fallen to the floor, “has anyone got eyes on Lexa?”  


“I do,” I whispered to her, “I can’t take them off her.”


	20. Part 20

Reality bought us both back to the situation. Devastatingly, I pulled my hand out of her pants, trying to not be too affected by the shiver Lexa released. I stepped back and looked around for the offending, interrupting item, unknowingly licking the remains of Lexa’s orgasm from my fingers. I didn’t realise until I released a moan at the sudden, but by no means unwanted, tangy taste filling my mouth. I stuck another finger in and cleaned it off eagerly, sneaking a quick peek at the source only to see Lexa, unmoved, watching me.  


A lip was painfully caught between her teeth and her eyes burning with desire. I felt my breath hitch in my throat instantly, remembering the same black eyes I was staring into only moments ago. Both of us knew what we wanted but neither of us made the move, knowing that we wouldn’t have long before Lexa was called again.  


I broke eye contact and ran my fingers through my hair, an attempt at a distraction. I was yet to breathe evenly, I could still feel her, hear her, smell and taste her all around me. She was clogging my senses up and I never wanted it to stop.  


I heard movement and turned to watch her. Red covered her cheeks and like me, she had yet to breathe normally too, good. Her hand her shaking as she fastened her jeans up, her button slipping through her fingers, unable to get a handle on it. I stepped forward to help her, it felt intimate, close, only making the current situation between my legs even worse. Another breath escaped me as I finally sealed her jeans shut, I put distance between us again knowing full well what would happen if we continued to be that close to each other.  


“I need a 20 on Lexa. Shooting in 5 and we need final touch ups on stage.” It took more strength that I’m willing to admit to not grab the radio and throw it against the wall, the only thing stopping me was the sound I knew it would make would only draw attention to our location.  


Lexa finally stood up, running her hands up and down her face and through her hair, shaking the remnants of her orgasm out of her muscles, “well at least we’ve got the flustered and dishevelled look going on” she joked. I laughed at her attempt to lighten the mood, she really was something. 

_________________________________________________________ 

 

“Luce! Wait! Please don’t walk away from me!” Make it real, I told myself, make it believable and relatable. Raven and I had practised this, we got this. Just a few more steps, wait for 3.. 2.. 1.. “Luce come on!” Your line Raven.  


“What?” Spin around, stumble a bit, act drunk, perfect.  


“Why are you leaving?” Tear up a bit, look lost, confused. Wait.  


Raven hits her lines as always, she was always so easy to work with, throwing herself in any role with such commitment and purpose, it was no different today. We both knew what we were working towards, our first kiss scene. No doubt we would have to do a few takes before Kane decides which to use for the final cut but still, the first was always the most nerve-wracking.  


“Why do you think, Morgan? You think I can sit around and watch you all over that guy?” Start crying, act stunned.  


“Why would it matter to you?” Ravens turn to start crying, wait for 3.. 2.. 1.. And walk away. My line.  


“Will you STOP walking away from me Luce!” Chase her, grab her arm, spin her around, stop on the line. Wait for Raven.  


“Are you seriously that blind? Unbelievable.” My turn.  


“Apparently so! What are you talking about!” Two steps closer, frown as Raven takes one step back. Continue. “Luce, it’s me here, talk to me.”  


Watch as Raven drops her head, wait for her line.  


“Exactly, it’s you here. It’s always you, it always has been.” There it is, there’s the line.  


“Are you saying..” Stop, be cut off by Raven.  


“Yes. It’s you Morgan.” Boom. Mark.  


One step forward, look at her lips, her eyes, then her lips again. One final step, and kiss. One hand in her hair, one on her hip, bring her closer. Head tilt. Hint of tongue, deep breath and 3.. 2.. 1.. Break. Rest my head against hers, maintain eye contact, shaky breaths. My line, “it was always you too.”  


“Okay guys, keep rolling! The kiss was great but I need more of a build up, make it more tense guys. Take it from ‘don’t walk away from me’”. Kane directed. Raven and I broke apart and walked back to our marks, I had a feeling this was going to be a long day. 

________________________________________________________ 

 

“That’s a wrap! Good job today guys, I’ll see you all tomorrow.” I let out a sigh of relief at that, I was right, it had been a long day. I made my way to my trailer, wanting nothing more than a glass of wine and a bath. Raven caught up with me on my way there.  


“That was a fun day!” She grinned which I returned.  


“Definitely. Can’t wait to see the viewers reactions when it finally gets aired!” She linked her arm through mine, pulling me closer as we walked.  


“Oh gosh I know! It’s going to blow up the Internet!” She exclaimed as we walked through the newly repaid trailer door.  


“You think?” I asked her, grabbing my coat and jacket from the sofa. I looked around to make sure I hadn’t forgotten anything, nope, everything seemed okay. I nodded towards to door, indicating to Raven that I was ready to leave.  


“You don’t think? Babe, you’ve already got a strong lesbian following just because of your face, you actually having a lesbian storyline is seriously going to blow some minds!” I blushed at her, whilst it was true about the fans I had, I still wasn’t used to the attention.  


“Maybe, I guess we will soon see.” She laughed at me.  


“There’s no maybe about it Clarke, I bet you anything that when it shows, your social media followers will triple.” She stuck her hand out and waited for mine in return.  


“Triple?? Oh you’re so on. What are the terms?” I wrap my hand around hers, shaking it on the deal.  


“Let’s just keep it open for now, the winner can decide the punishment.” She smiled slyly, she thought she was going to win. She was so wrong.  


“Deal, 24 hours after airing is the deadline. You’re going down Reyes.” I winked at her drawing a laugh out of her.  


“You’re on Griffin.”


	21. Part 21

Wine in one hand, phone resting beside by head with Twenty One Pilots playing, hot water still pouring out the tab and enough bubbles to look a small child, it was a night I definitely needed.  


‘The Judge’ was interrupted, I halted my singing and answered the phone, pressing the speaker phone button as it did.  


“Hello?” I answered.  


“Clarkey, I’m bored. What you up to?” Of course it’s Raven with her impeccable timing.  


“Just in the bath,” I took a sip of wine, “we didn’t get to catch up before.”  


“Oh sexy, and I know, wait, what’s happened? What did you do?” I laughed at her deducing skills.  


“I fucked Lexa.” Taking a bigger sip of wine, I listened out for her reaction.  


“FINALLY. TELL ME EVERYTHING.” I finished the wine off, smiling at her high pitched whining.  


“Hair and make up tent, it wasn’t much, but fucking hell Rave, she’s fucking glorious when she comes.” I stopped to remember what she sounded like, what she tasted like. I could feel a wetness between my legs that wasn’t made from the bath water. I felt my hand subconsciously make it way down there before I remembered Raven was on the phone.  


“Rave? I’m gonna have to go. I’ll call you back in a bit.” I hung up without waiting for a reply and resumed my movements.  


Spreading my legs further apart I leant back, getting comfy. Trailing my right hand through the sodden crease between my thighs, I let out a breath, just like Lexa had. I circled my swollen nerve ending, hips bucking up to feel more, just like Lexa had.  


Remembering her taste on my tongue, how it set me afire, how it flooded my senses, I knew I needed to taste that again, straight from the source.  


Picturing Lexa looking down at me whilst I crawled up her legs, leaving bite marks as I went. Picturing how she would quiver beneath me, how she would run her hands through my hair, holding me in place against her, how she would grind herself against my face, using me for her own pleasure.  


It wasn’t long before the thoughts consumed me, before the tingling from my toes ran up the rest of my body. Eyes closed tightly, eyebrows scrunched together, mouth open releasing soundless moans as I circled faster and faster.  


“Lexa..” I was so close, fuck, my hips rolled faster, matching the rhythm set by my fingers. “Fuck!”  


My eyes rolled backwards and a moan escaped me, shaking me from head to toe as the desired heat flowed through my being.  


I continued circling, continuing my orgasm, coming with Lexa’s face in my mind and name leaving my lips. 

_________________________________________________________ 

 

I held the ringing phone next to my ear waiting for the recipient to answer.  


“Better time to talk?” She asked me, I blushed to myself hoping she didn’t know why I had to hang up the phone over an hour ago.  


“It is, where we’re we up to?” I asked Raven.  


“You were gushing over how she looks when she comes, which by the way, is far too much information.” I violently brushed again at her choice of words, i definitely gushed.  


“She does. Something like that should be celebrated.” Sinking further down on the sofa I flicked the TV on as we spoke, searching through my recorded items for something to watch.  


“I’ll be sure to tell her that then. How did it happen?” I settled on Project Runway, a guilty pleasure of mine.  


I smiled as I remembered our moments in the trailer, “she told me she fell for me as soon as she saw me.”  


“WHAT??” I smiled at her reaction.  


“I know.” I pressed the play button, barely paying attention to the TV.  


“She hid that well. What did you say?” I continued to smile to myself.  


“Nothing.” I paused, “I just fucked her against the make-up desk.”  


“Absolute class Griffin, well done. What happened afterwards?” My smile dropped, I hadn’t spoken to her, nor had I seen her afterwards.  


“She got called to the set.” I paused the TV and made my way to the kitchen, pouring myself another glass of wine. I knew I had an early call tomorrow but one more glass should be fine.  


“That’s it?” She asked me, confusion in her voice.  


“That’s it. I haven’t spoken to her since.” The disappointment was evident, it was neither of our faults, but it still hurt nonetheless. I didn’t even have her number to text her.  


“Well that’s shit.” She said letting it a sarcastic laugh.  


“Oh I know.” I finished my glass of wine and I hadn’t even left the kitchen, contemplating whether I could have another glass or not my will crumbled and I poured my third.  


“Tomorrow isn’t far away, you can speak to her then?” she was right, there wasn’t much I could do about it now other than wallow in my misery.  


“Yeh,” I sighed, “I guess I’ll have to.”

_________________________________________________________ 

 

The next day came quicker than normal, I guess three glasses of wine can do that for you.  


I set foot out of my car and made my way over to my trailer, I could afford a few minutes resting time before I was needed in costume. I hadn’t seen Lexa yet and I honestly, I was scared to see her. I hadn’t yet thought about what I’d say to her. We hadn’t really spoke much recently, about anything. She still thinks I’m with Raven!  


I wanted to get to know her, I needed to know get to know her. To know her likes, her dislikes, her pet peeves, whether she likes reading, if she’s an artist outside work. I wanted to know what colour her bedroom was and how many pillows she slept with at night.  


I was knocked out of my thoughts by my name been shouted across the set. I looked around and found Kane running towards me.  


“Clarke, there you are” he said breathlessly, “when Raven gets here can you come to my office? There’s a few things we need to speak about.”  


I nodded my head at him, “sure.”  


I grabbed my phone out of my back pocket and dialled her number. It didn’t take long before she picked it up. “What’s up Griffin?”  


“Are you at the set yet?” I looked around to see whether I could see her.  


“Yup, in my trailer, everything okay?” Perfect!  


“Kane wants us to meet now at his office, meet you there?” I asked.  


“Yup sure, see you in a sec.” Hanging up, I slid my phone back in my pocket and made my way to Kane’s office.  


Raven met me along the way.  


“Hey! Know that this is about?” She asked me as we made our way through the door. Jaha and Anya were with Kane, shit, this didn’t look good.  


“What did we do now?” Raven asked as we both cautiously took our seats.  


Kane laughed at us, “surprisingly nothing.” A weight lifted off both out shoulders, well that’s good then.  


“We want you to make a public appearance. Comic Com is coming up soon, we want to get people talking about you so more people show up for the show.” Kane spoke.  


“Comic Con is months away,” I thought out loud, “more than three months away anyway.”  


Silence followed me, shit.  


That’s why Jaha and Anya were here.  


“You want us to stay together for longer than three months don’t you.” Raven looked over to me, neither of us wanted this.  


Kane solemnly nodded his head, “the season is coming up to an end, we want to secure a renewal, you two being in a relationship will do that.”  


“That’s bullshit!” Snapped Raven, “you’re completely using the support of a community to boost your viewing figures! You don’t give a shit about us!”  


Jaha laughed at her, “us? Raven you’re not even gay, you’re not an “Us”.”  


I whipped my head around and stared at him incredulously, “because that’s the most important thing here? Fuck off Jaha. Whether Raven is gay or not, whatever or whoever Raven is attracted to has got fuck all to do with the deception you guys are pulling right now.” I stood up angrily and looked over to Anya, “how could you agree to this?” I asked her. At least she had to decency to look guilty in her decisions.  


“Look Clarke, this decision was made without needing your input, nor Ravens.” I couldn’t listen to this anymore.  


“That’s not the way I see it.” I signal to Raven to follow me, “you need us. And we are not agreeing to any of this shit.”  


I opened the door ready to leave before Anya stopped me, “Clarke if you don’t agree the producers will terminate your contract.”


	22. Part 22

I was raging, fuming.  


I was inconsolable, unapproachable.  


I made my way to my trailer, ignoring whoever was shouting my name behind me.  


“Clarke, wait!”  


I sped up slightly, I was not in any mood for niceties right now.  


“CLARKE, STOP!” Recognising the voice only filled the fire that was currently burning inside me, there was nothing she could say to me right now, nothing she could do that would make me hate her any less.  


I pulled the door open to my trailer, barely recognising the unusual force of strength behind my actions, and slammed it behind me, sincerely hoping that she had gotten the hint.  


I was disappointed when the door opened behind me, she hadn’t.  


I couldn’t move standing rigid yet shaking. Standing strong yet broken.  


“Get out.” Speaking volumes as the words slipped out through gritted teeth.  


My hands were clenching, my heart beating wildly and my head swarming with thoughts.  


“Clarke, we need to talk.”  


“There is nothing you can say to me right now Anya.” I could barely speak her name without setting it on flames, venom evident in my tone. “Get out.”  


Silence followed, with a baited breath I waited for the eventual closing of the door. It took longer than I had hoped but Anya soon left.  


I looked around my trailer and for the first time in years, felt disconnected to my second home. This wasn’t the place I knew, this wasn’t the place I understood and enjoyed. I needed to be anywhere but here.  


Grabbing my phone and bag I made my way out of the trailer stumbling as I noticed Raven up ahead of me, shit, Raven. I hadn’t even spoken to her yet.  


I jogged slightly and caught up with her, “Raven, hey..”  


“What do you want Clarke?” Taken aback from her abrupt tone I faltered.  


“Can we talk?” I asked timidly.  


“Talk about what Clarke? You just fucking left me!” She turned to look at me, eyes full of unshed tears.  


“I.. I’m sorry Raven, I couldn’t be there anymore. I can’t even be here anymore. I need to leave, come with me?” The pleading was obvious and pathetic, I just needed my best friend with me.  


I reached out to hold her hand but I never made it, she snapped her hand back. “You’re leaving? Here or the show Clarke?”  


“Here. Both, I don’t know, I can’t do this Raven!” I tried for her hand again, missing it, again.  


“So you’re fucking off? That’s it? You’re leaving the show?” Her voice was beginning to travel around the set, we weren’t alone and this seriously wasn’t a conversation to be had in public.  


“Raven please, calm down, can we go home to talk, please?” I pleaded once again, falling on deaf ears.  


“Calm down?” Her voice kept gaining the attention of others, shit, this couldn’t be good.  


“RAVEN!” I interrupted her before she could continue, “fucks sake, look where we are!” Her shoulders slumped, and she looked back at me, deflated and broken just like me.  


“Clarke,” she whispered, “if you stayed in that meeting you would have heard the fact that it’s both our contracts on the line here. It’s both our jobs, if you fuck off then I’m gone.”  


We were thoroughly fucked. Why hadn’t I once thought about Raven in all of this? I was speechless, devastated and dumbfounded.  


“I didn’t know..” It was barely uttered and barely heard.  


“Of course you didn’t, you left me.” Her eyes fell from mine, I fucked up completely. She didn’t stop the unshed tears from finally surfacing. Every teardrop resonated around me, every drop on the floor was a fracture in my bones, feeling shattered as I simply watched my best friend break in front of me.  


No one could speak, it was clear that nothing I could say right now would fix things. She quickly dried her face on her coat sleeve, still staring at the floor she turned her back to me and walked off.  


My mouth opened in reflex but I let her walk away. This wasn’t the time nor the place to call her back, she needed space from me, this time on her own terms.  


“Trouble in paradise?” I swung around to see who spoke.  


“Lexa?” What was she doing here? “What did you hear?”  


She cocked her head to the side in question, “something you don’t want me to hear between you and your girlfriend?”  


She crossed one arm over the other, standing defenceless, staring me down.  


I shifted from foot to foot, unable to figure out how to answer her.  


“You’re leaving?” Another whisper, her pain being louder than her words.  


“No! I.. Shit.” I couldn’t leave, I couldn’t do that to Raven. It was an atrocious situation but this job was her life, I couldn’t fuck this opportunity up for her.  


“So it’s just Raven that you left then.. Does she know?” She stepped closer to me, still at a distance which hurt me, but I understood why considering our present surroundings. She looked at me with such hope in her eyes, begging me to say yes. It broke me all over again.  


I dropped my head, unable to look at her, shaking it no. I saw her feet take a step away from me, “I see.”  


“No Lexa, you really don’t.. It’s, it’s complicated, let me explain!” I could see each brick being replaced, building her walls higher and higher.  


“What is there to explain, Clarke? I told you how I felt, you told me you’re staying with Raven. I’m well-versed in unrequited feelings, I know how all of this works.” She took this as her queue to leave and turned to walk away, fuck that, you’re not walking away from me too.  


“They’re not unrequited!”  


She stopped in her tracks, wincing at how loud I shouted that, I walked up behind her. She had yet to turn around and I used this to my advantage.  


I pushed up against her, my breath trailing along her neck leaving goosebumps in my wake, I could feel her shiver at our closeness and I couldn’t help but smile.  


I gently kissed the back of her neck, unable to stop the trembling breath that escaped me as I took in her scent.  


“It was never unrequited, Lexa.” I felt her head fall back slightly against mine, embracing me, embracing my confession, “I fell for you as soon as I saw you too.”  


“Clarke..” She started, “do you have anywhere to be?” She pulled away from me and turned around, eyes dilated and a flush on her skin.  


I shook my head, taking her hand, I led her to my car.  


It didn’t take long before we were at the parking lot, opening the passenger door for Lexa, I watched as she gracefully slide in. Steadying my nerves, I made my way to the drivers door and joined her. I could see my hands shaking as I tried to insert the key in the ignition, fucks sake Clarke, calm down!  


I froze up feeling Lexa’s hand on my thigh, “it’s okay.”  


I believed her, taking one more breath, I managed to sink the key in without any more issues and started driving.  


We had been driving in silence, unsure of a destination but still enjoying the journey. I laughed to myself, just like Lexa and I.  


“Take a right on Lemmington.” I looked over to her and smiled.  


“Sure, where we going?” Turning my indicator on I slowed down at the lights, waiting for the red to turn green. I looked over to her again noticing how she was watching me, a glint in her eye and a smirk on her lips  
“My place.” Oh.


	23. Part 23

“So this is where you live,” I smirked knowing full well she was Hollywood royalty.  


Lexa looked sheepish as she hung her coat up, holding out her hand as an offer to take mine. Shrugging it off I took this chance to have a look at the place, “this is a really nice space you have.” Everything was modern and white, contemporary and expensive, yet somehow homely.  


Lexa laughed sheepishly, “yeh, I suppose it’s not that bad.”  


“Not that bad?” I laughed along with her, “you must be really good at hair and make up to afford this place.” I goaded her, hypocritical I know, but I was curious as to how far I could push her before she told me, before I knew she was able to trust me, and I her in return.  


“I do okay.. “ She turned around, “want a drink?” I looked around, only just realising that she had guided me to the kitchen.  


“Doing ‘okay’ doesn’t let you buy or rent something like this..” I continued to look around at the place, noticing how the modern theme flowed through every room, “and I’ll have whatever you’re having.”  


I leant forward on the kitchen counter taking a seat, lazily trailer my finger around the marble swirls in front of me. Lexa walked past me and opened the fridge, removing two bottles of beer she slid one across the counter to me. I twisted the cap off and took my first swig as I watched Lexa do the same.  


“Buy, not rent. And yeh, I do okay when it comes to hair and make up.” She took another swig before pushing herself off the counter behind her, taking two steps forward to lean against the same counter I was resting on.  


“So if you do just ‘okay’ with your job, then how are you able to buy this place?” There, I asked out right. Lexa took another swig of her beer, a small smile hid behind the glass rim as the beer poured into her mouth.  


If she told me, told me such a huge secret for her, then she trusts me and maybe, just maybe, I can tell her the truth about me.  


I knew I was going about this the wrong way, I knew there were better ways to deal with it but as it stood right that second, I couldn’t think of any.  


“My family are well off, I was lucky enough to have an inheritance when I reached 21, I invested, it paid off.” She took another swig, still maintaining eye contact, her smile only spreading wider.  


I looked away, the harder the stared, the harder I felt it everywhere. It felt like foreplay, I was barely able to register her words, unable to concentrate on anything but green.  


“Smart and beautiful then, must be really hard for you.” It was murmured into my bottle as I took another swig.  


“You would know” she winked back.  


“You flirt, anyone would think you’re trying to get into my pants.” I looked back at her and smiled teasingly.  


“You’ve already gotten into mine, figured I should return the favour.” I could see her eyes grow darker, she knew the affect she was having on me, and she was loving it.  


Fuck it, if she can dish it out, she can take it too.  


Two can play at this game. I finished off my beer, wiping the remnants from the rim with my tongue, making sure she watched as I revelled in the taste. “And how would you like to return the favour?”  


She knew where this was going, her eyes continued darkening as she trapped her lip with her teeth.  


“With your fingers?” I continued, she released her lip, running her tongue against the bite.  


“Your mouth maybe?” I was loving this, her tongue stopped running and she held her breath.  


“Or maybe both, with me bent across this very counter.” She dropped her head, releasing the breath, coating it in a loud moan.  


“Oh someone likes that idea.” She snapped her head back at me, a devilish smirk on her addicting lips.  


“Do not tease me Clarke, you would not like the consequences.” She stood up, finishing her beer and disposing both bottles in a bin next to the fridge, she continued walking round the counter until she stopped by my side. I had yet to move, unable to trust my legs if I stood up right now.  


“Clarke..” She started, her breath leaving goosebumps along my neck.  


She moved from my side and stood directly behind me, her lips pressing gently against my neck in a whisper of love. I dropped my head forward, giving her more access, “Lexa..”  


I felt her smile against me, glad she was enjoying this as much as I was. Two hands braced me, holding me steady and she pushed further into me. Lips continued their exploration, taking in all sides of my neck, I was a trembling mess.  


One of her hands left my side, tickling me gently as it travelled round me, settling on the top of my back.  


I felt her lips leave my neck, disgruntled, I went to sit up, to chase the lips that left me hanging, but the hand on my back stopped me.  


“Lexa..” I warned.  


“Clarke..” She warned back.  


The hand on my back pushed against me harder. “Fuck.” Realising where this was going I stopped going against Lexa, giving into her demands. My chest was finally pushed against the marble counter top, the cold seeping through my top, forcing my nipples to harden and strain against my bra, I couldn’t contain the moans escaping me.  


Her hand still on my side pulled me back, eventually making me stand. I heard the scrape of the chair beneath me leaving the space, I was fully standing now. She kicked the inside of my foot and I took the hint, spreading my legs, an invitation I was far too willing to give out.  


With a hand still pressing against me, holding me down against the kitchen counter, I couldn’t help but take pleasure in the dominance Lexa was showing, I could get used to this.  


“Is this what you hand in mind, Clarke?” Jesus, the way she says my name almost makes my knees buckle beneath my weight. Thoughts cloud my head, I couldn’t help but remember what she sounds like screaming in whilst in the throws of passion.  


“It’s a start..” My voice dripped with sexual tension, I shifted my weight from one foot to another, attempting to quell the throbbing between my legs. “I seem to remember there being mention of fingers and tongues too..”  


I felt her tense up at my words, I shifted once again only this time rubbing my ass into her crotch, she tenses once again, grasping at my top, pulling it away from my body slightly.  


She lets it go, sliding her hand down my back, subtly missing my ass before she grabs my thigh harshly. Nails digging into the flesh before teasingly pinching the skin higher and higher. She was so close to me, so close to realising just how wet she made me, I bent my knees faintly, hoping for a touch on my pulsating need, but it was no use.  


She pulled her hand away, but before I could sigh at the displeasure, I felt my skirt being pulled up. “Fuck” I groaned out, I widened my stance even further, making sure she knew just how ready I was.  


I felt the air against my dampened pants and let out another moan. My skirt completely resting above my ass which was still pressed neatly against her crotch, I rubbed against her harder, hoping for her to hurry up, I wasn’t sure how much longer I could wait.  


She granted my wishes, moving back, giving her room to peel my pants away from me. The cold made me shiver, there was no way I could hide how turned in I was now.  


My scent hit my noses and I flushed in embarrassment, I knew I tasted good from all the times I had cleaned off my own fingers after a solo fuck session, I could only hope that Lexa thought the same thing, I needed her tongue on me, in me, all around me. And I could not wait any longer.  


“I swear down Lexa, if you don’t do something soon I’ll sit you down and you can watch me finish the job.” I moved my left hand down to my juncture, making sure she knew that I could follow through with my words.  


“I told you, Clarke. Do not tease me. As much as I would love to watch you pleasure yourself, I would like to indulge in you first.” Still somehow managing to keep myself up right, I moaned again at her words, “it is your choice, Clarke. You can touch yourself now, or you can touch yourself later.”  


“Later, later” I cut her off, “fuck Lexa just do it yourself, please.”  


I could hear the smirk in her voice, “as you wish.”  


She wasted no more time and finally spread my lips apart, placing two fingers directly over my swollen nub. I moaned out a thank you as my head dropped against the cold surface, an endeavour to cool myself off from the fire that was ardent inside me.  


She teased my clit briefly, occasionally dipping inside me, gathering my wetness from the source before returning to my clit.  


She halts her movements, before I’m able to turn around to find out why, I’m pleasantly surprised at a pressure on my hole, inching inside me. It didn’t take me long to recognise it to be her tongue. Fucking hell, just the thought of her tongue being a indie me bought me unbearably close to my ultimate goal. That, and her skilled fingers which were now rubbing all sides of my clit. She was forcing me closer and closer to the edge, my moans increased in loudness, my hands tried to find something to hold on to, something to ground me, keep me level as Lexa threatened the float me away.  


“Lexa,” I groaned, her tongue pushed further into me, keeping a rhythm with her fingers. Everything sped up, her thrusts became faster, harder. Her two fingers flicked violently, side to side and repeating. My moans were constant, the pleas never stopped.  


“I’m going to..” I tried to warn her, “Fu.. I’m..” The words were stuck in my throat just as my breath was, I froze as Lexa continued. My muscles crushing her tongue as pushed me so far over the edge that I was lost. My noises and sounds were incoherent, my mind was reeling and my body was in fucking flames. I could feel her everywhere as she continued drawing out my orgasm, I wasn’t sure how much more I could handle, but at the same time, I never wanted this feeling the end.  


The weight on my clit lifted as she eased off me, my breath finally caught up with me, the tension in my head lightened, my body continued tingling as the remnants of my orgasm slowly faded, leaving me a shell of a person.  


She had ruined me. A tornado, a hurricane, a destructive force, leaving only fragments of my past self behind. But fucking hell, this was the best force I had ever experienced. She was unstoppable, unchangeable, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.


	24. Part 24

“So just how well off are you folks? I mean, this place is incredible.” I asked, probed more like, as I trailed my finger up and down her am. We had some point made our way to one of her many sofas. Clothes were last along the way, leaving only a small blanket to cover our modesty. She was lazily strewn across me, her head resting in my lap with a look of pure content evident in her eyes. I couldn’t look away.  


“How well off is well off in the industry were in?” She had a point, annoyingly. I continued my path down her arm stopping briefly at her fingertips before trailing back up, smiling softly at the goosebumps which were starting to rise.  


“Not as well off as you it would seem.” I teased, Lexa bit her lip and looked away from me, as if she was embarrassed. “I’m sorry, this isn’t my place to ask, I just want to know you.”  


Her eyes lift back to mine, lip released, a small smile replaced it. “You do?” I couldn’t help but laugh at the hopeful look she had.  


“I do.” My smile matched hers, and only grew wider when I watched Lexa reach up to kiss me. I lean down, pressing my lips to hers.  


Laughing, I gently kissed her again, enjoying the way her lips moulded round mine, “I figured.”  


She fell back down, shuffling around to get comfy on my legs. “My mum’s an actress, my dad’s a producer.”  


She told me! She waited for my reply, should I play dumb? Act surprised? Shit, I hadn’t thought this through.  


I continued playing with her skin, starting at the crease of her elbow, pushing higher up her arm, following the curve of her shoulder before settling on her glorious collarbones.  


“I know,” I momentarily stopped my movements, it was my turn to wait for a reply.  


I felt my hand being pushed out the way, realising that Lexa was trying to sit up I moved back giving her more room. She turned around to face me, her eyebrows had creased in confusion, her head tilted slightly to the right, “what?”  


I turned around too, now fully facing her, “there was a documentary on the other week..” I started, her head dropped in recognition, “and from what you said about your folks in my trailer that time, I kind of put two and two together..”  


She refused to meet my eyes, I hadn’t seen this timid side of Lexa before, had I done to right thing? Don’t do that Clarke, of course you did, telling the truth is always the best way. I almost snorted of myself, I could taste the hypocrisy.  


Her head started to nod, my words finally registering. “So, why the 20 questions?”  


Her eyes finally reached mine, the reserved look still in place. I swallowed my nerves, she was going for the kill. “I.. I wasn’t 100% certain?” It was spoken like a question, and not a confident one, “and, I suppose..” fuck it. “I suppose I was curious to see whether you trusted me or not.”  


The nerves returned tenfold, I guess I was also going for the kill.  


I watched as she steeled herself, her jaw gently swung side to side in a reflex I was sure Lexa was unaware of, “who have you told?”  


“No one! I swear! I figured you keep this stuff to yourself for a reason.” The steely look dropped from her face, settling my nerves.  


“So your girlfriend doesn’t know?” She asked cautiously.  


“Who?”  


“Raven...” FUCK.  


“Oh! No! No I haven’t said a word to anyone.” I paused, choosing my next words carefully, “but.. She might have guessed it herself? I don’t know if she actually thinks for sure, or just a random guess she threw out there..” Stop talking Clarke, “I didn’t even tell her that I agreed with her! I swear Lex! I have-“  


A hand on my arm cut me off, “breathe Clarke, I trust you.”  


I let out a well needed breathe, “so you’re not angry at me?”  


She laughed gently, picked up my right hand and kissed my knuckles, “no baby. I doubt you two were the only people who’ve cottoned on, I just need to figure out who leaked it.”  


I felt myself blushing at her actions, “you have no clue?”  


She let go off my hand and brushed it through her crazed, curly hair, turning her body she collapsed, resting against the back of the sofa. Exasperated, she shrugged her shoulders, “I have a few hunches, but nothing I’m certain on.”  


I followed her movements, leaning back, I rested my head against her shoulder, “I know is a long shot, but is there anything I can do?”  


I felt a gentle kiss being placed on my forehead, “keep your eyes and ears out?”  


I tilted my head back and kissed her, I couldn’t get enough. “Of course.” I continued kissing her, revelling in her lips surrounding mine, tasting and teasing me.  


She pulled back suddenly, “wait, wait a second.” I sat up giving her some room. “I just need to clarify something.”  


“Okay, shoot.”  


“You do know my Parents are Indra and Gustus, yes?” I laughed at her question.  


“Yes.” I answered her.  


“Okay, good. No names were actually mentioned before, I just needed to double check.”

_______________________________________________________ 

 

It was a comfortable silence between us.  


We had yet to move from the sofa, or dress ourselves. If I was honest, I was reluctant to move out of the little bubble we found ourselves in.  


We were sitting on opposite ends of the sofa, leaning on the arms facing each other, occasionally running our bare feet up and down our bare legs. The Alchemist was held in her hands but I could tell that she was paying more attention to me than her book. “I don’t understand how you can read such trash.”  


“Oh I know you’re not talking about this amazing gossip magazine, because something as stellar as this could never been described as ‘trash’.” I flicked from one page to another, the ‘hot or not’ updated list was, essentially, going in one ear and out the other. I hadn’t been able to take in a single word I read, I hadn’t been able to stop replaying Lexa words, how she opened up to me, how she trusted me.  


Why hadn’t I done the same?  


“Something as ‘stellar’ as that has no place in a respectable home.” I feign shocked at her remark. Gasping, I closed my magazine, slamming it down on the coffee table to me left.  


“Why Lexa, are you saying you don’t respect me?”  


Lexa leant forward, shutting her book on her lap. “If I didn’t respect you, I wouldn’t have allowed you to cum round my fingers, several times.”  


I gulped, feeling the effect of her words. She was moving closer to me, teasingly, seducing me. I closed my eyes, taking out my frustration on them. I needed to tell her, I needed to tell her about Raven before we went any further.  


“Or let myself cum on your face, several times.”  


Telling her about Raven could wait.


	25. Part 25

“Fuuuuuuuuuck, Cl- oh shit Clarke!"  


My eyes threatened to roll back but I trained them to stay open, unwilling to miss even one second of this.  


"Shit, shit, shit, shit, I'm.. OH GOD RIGHT THERE."  


Circles, circles were a good thing.  


"Pl-please don't stop Clarke!"  


Fuck, she tasted amazing, almost amazing as the view above me, thighs on either side of my face, Lexa using it a seat. I reached up with my spare hand, the other was currently in between my own legs, copying the same movement my tongue was tracing on Lexa's clit. Finding my destination, a hardened nipped, I didn't hold back. I already knew that she liked them to be played with, I already knew she came harder when they were pinched ruthlessly.  


"So close, so close, so close" I grinned, watching Lexa press my hand closer to her body, I reluctantly had to move the hand that was getting myself off to grab a hold on Lexa's hips. They were currently grinding against my face, using me like a toy designed for one purpose.  
I moved my tongue from her clit and thrusted it deep inside her, relishing in the guttural moan released from her.  


"Fucking hell, Clarke."  


I guided her, pulling her down on me, her pussy held onto my tongue and I felt myself clench in response. I knew from her previous orgasms that she needed her clit played with, she was teetering on the edge, the orgasm teasing her.  


I moved my hand from her hip and reached across for he right hand a placed it in front of my nose, pushing her fingers against her straining nub. She got the message and immediately stoked herself, furiously rubbing three fingers against her clit as ground forwards and backwards against me. I went back to embracing her hip, readying both of us for her impending peak.  


Her moans were constant and her words were indecipherable.  


Her hips were stuttering and her hand was faltering.  


Her head dropped forward and eyes widened, she watched me between her legs working my magic. "Oh god, Clarke!" Her eyebrows screwed together as she finally tore her eyes away from mine, I tensed my tongue and steeled my neck just as Lexa's moans matched her pleasure as she peaked.  


Her had snapped back, my name released in a scream the same time as her core released all over my face. Streams of her juice coated my lips, overflowing in my mouth bringing out moans of my own.  


She kept coming and coming, violently still attacking her swollen clit as she shook above me. She was dragging out her own pleasure and fucking hell, if that wasn't the hottest thing I'd ever witnessed, I didn't know what was.  


Her hand eventually started to slow down, two fingers replaced three, which turned into one, solitary finger circling her brutalised nub. Her hips had stopped shaking and her juices had stopped flowing, the remains of her orgasm just dripping into my mouth. I pressed my tongue in further, not wanting her juices to stop, her taste was addicting and I wanted more. Lexa whined at my intrusion and moved off my face, I'd have to have more later.  


She shimmied down the bed and rested her head against my chest. Her breath was still laboured and her hips still twitched as the ends of her orgasm came to finish.  


"So," I started, "you squirt."  


Lexa groaned in embarrassment and buried her head into my neck. "Only sometimes. Only when it's really, really good. I never thought you'd find out."  


I laughed at her, "you didn't think sex would be really, really good with me? You didn't think I'd be good enough to get you to squirt?"  


Lexa groaned again, "something like that."  


"I don't know whether the be flattered that you thought about having sex with me, or insulted that you thought I'd be bad in bed!" I continued laughing at her embarrassed state.  


She lifted her head up from me and rested her hand there instead, trying to frown at the situation which only made her look cuter. "it wasn't that I thought you would be bad, I just thought that you hadn't been with a girl before! I thought it would mainly be awkward fumbles and apologies."  


I quirked my head to the side and smiled at her, "I suppose so."  


"Suppose so? The first sign of you liking girls was that picture of you and Raven." Both our smiles dropped at the name, I needed to tell her.  


"Lexa.. I" She cut me off.  


"You did well at hiding your relationship." She pulled her hand away from me, "am I the only one who thinks about what else you may be good a hiding at?"  


I cringed at the accusation, knowing full well that Lexa had a reason to be doubtful with me, "Lexa.. I" I tried again, I needed to tell her..  


She cut my off again.  


"Please don't try and explain your relationship with Raven." It was quiet, but just like normal, it was spoken loud enough to hear. "You're with her, yet you're fucking me."  


It hurt, that hurt, but what else was she supposed to believe? "Lexa, please.."  


I was getting on her last nerve, "please what, Clarke?"  


"It's not like that.." She scoffed at my lame reply.  


"As if, Clarke." She completely moved away from me, distancing herself from any contact between us two, "I really don't want to know about how you scream my name, yet run back to her."  


"Lexa, can you stop interrupting me?" It was shouted a lot loud than I originally anticipated.  


She finally stopped talking, it was a blessing, "okay Clarke. What do you have to say that's so important?"  


It stopped me, she stopped me.  


Turns out the blessing was a blessing in disguise.  


"What else is there to say Clarke? You know my feelings, you know my part in this relationship. Yet you're with someone else." She took a deep breath, "I'm you're bit on the side. I'm you're extra. I know I couldn't be anything but that."  


I paled at this, feeling sick at the knowledge of how she saw herself, how she thought I saw her, "Lexa, stop, please..." I couldn't have this, she needed to know, she couldn't go on feeling this way.  


"What Clarke?" She stood up, I could tell see needed distance from me and it hurt, but I refused to think about that pain. She was hurting more than I was, she needed more help than I did. "You keep on interrupting me, you keep on saying my name, but nothing follows. What do you want Clarke?"  


Frozen, completely frozen. Okay, now Clarke. Now is the perfect time.  


I opened my mouth, settling myself for whatever words found its way out, before I was interrupt, yet again.  
Lexa shuffled around, trying to find the source of the sound before she picked it up and held it to her ear, "Hello?"  


I was breathless, yet annoyed. Perfect fucking timing.  


"Yes, this is she." I perked up inconspicuously, "yes, I can pass the message one. Okay, thank you."  


I quirked an eyebrow at her, awaiting an explanation at the interruption.  


"Production are looking for me." She took a breath, "they want me to do hair and make up for Entertainment Weekley."  


I nodded my head at her request, it didn't seem too hard.  


"They want me to tell you that both you and Raven will needed tomorrow morning in Kane's office with myself at 10, to discuss your relationship outfits," She refused to look at me, playing with a stray piece for fabric before she continued, "you know, style tips, in case you end up dislodging a hairpin or two.."  


I felt myself flush at the incentive, I knew what Kane meant for Raven and I, he wanted the PDA, he wanted the hand holding and kissing. He wanted the 'over the top' expressions of love, none of which were something neither Raven nor I were comfortable with.  


"I don't know if I.."  


She cut me off, yet again.  


"He also wanted me to tell you how important this was, and that if you kept your word, you would be there?" She finished it like a question, but we both knew that Kane never questioned anything.  


I nodded my head at her, silently trying to figure out the next steps.  


"So," She started, "don't you have an early night tomorrow?"  


"I.." I didn't, but I could have guessed the hint from a mile off, "I do, yes. I should go."  


She silently nodded her head at me, neither of us knew what to say, neither of us had anything to say that could fix this.  


"I guess I'll see you tomorrow," She stated, "With Raven."  


I gathered my items, dressing quickly yet uncomfortably, I nodded my head with her.  


She looked at me one final time before showing me the door, "don't forget who she is this time."


	26. Part 26

Awkward.  


Fucking awkward.  


No, really fucking awkward.  


I looked at my watch, 12 minutes. 12 minutes since I sat down opposite Kane. 12 minutes since Raven sat next to the right of me. And 12 minutes since Lexa sat to the left of me.  


I could feel the tension radiating from Lexa, the glares burning holes in the side of my face.  


I could feel my right hand being enclosed around Ravens, a semi-romantic move which I was not common for Raven and I.  


I could hear a cough, loud, purposefully sent to my direction.  


“What do you think, Clarke?”  


Shit. I missed something.  


I turned to Raven who was staring at me, her eyebrows so high they nearly touched her hairline.  


I turned to Lexa who was staring resolutely at a loose thread on her jeans, her fingers idly playing with it.  


I turned to Kane who was staring impatiently at me, a pen clasped between his forefinger and thumb as it tapped against his desk.  


“I.. Er... Sure?” Just agree, Clarke. Surely that’s the safest thing to do?  


Considering the spluttering I heard from Lexa and the surprised squeak I heard from Raven, I was wrong.  


Kane jumped up in glee, a smile spread ear to ear as he gathered several scattered pieces of paper, “perfect! I knew you would see things from my side!”  


I turned once more to my left, but Lexa refused to meet my eye. Twisting my head I looked over to Raven who’s mouth had dropped open in words which never reached the surface.  


Fuck, what have I agreed to?  


“So here are your contracts,” contracts? “it details where they’re allowed and not allowed, what you can say and cannot say and do and cannot do. I trust one of you will give the forth copy to Octavia when you see her?” I nodded, speechless, trying to put two and two together.  


Lexa wordlessly snatched her papers from Kane and left the office. Raven had at some point released my hand and was instead clutching at two contracts, I’m guessing the second was Octavia’s.  


I looked down at the untouched paper on my lap, unable to take in any of the words currently screaming out at me.  


“Any questions?” I gaped like a fish. Yes I had questions! What the fuck is this contract? What the hell did I agree to? Kane cut me off before I could vocalise my worries. “No? Great! The cameras will be arriving tomorrow, sign those papers and hand them back in after filming tonight. Good luck ladies!” Cameras?!  


Raven had hopped up and started to leave the office, I hightailed it after her. “Raven!” catching up with her, I grabbed hold of her elbow and spun her around. “What did I do?”  


She breathlessly laughed, “you’re a fool, you know that right?” Another laugh escaped her a she shook her head, “fool is the wrong word here, you’re a fucking idiot!” Her tone was growing sharper and sharper in frustration, this can’t be good.  


“Raven please...” I squeezed her elbow hoping to calm her down.  


“Well, you got us out of an awkward interview with Entertainment Weekly...” That didn’t sound too bad? “And instead agreed for them to follow us off set, camera’s everywhere, exclusive interviews, that sort of stuff.”  


“Oh, crap.” I dropped my hand from her elbow, “but wait, what do Lexa and O have to do with this?”  


“They’re not to leave our side, Kane wants us to be camera ready at all times.” She turned around and started walking towards her trailer, like a lost puppy, I followed.  


“Okay, so what, we’re to keep them on retainer until we need them?” Raven screamed her frustrations into her hands.  


“Seriously Clarke, we’re you not listening to a word Kane said?” She was exasperated with me, and I couldn’t blame her for one second. I dropped my head, she took that to be my answer.  


“Fucks sake.” She mumbled to herself, “Kane’s rented a house for us, all four of us. We’re to play happy families in front of the cameras, from the outside its going to look like we’re all the best of mates, but they’re there to work on making us look pretty and perfect.”  


I was going to live with Lexa? In a house, with Lexa? I felt myself smiling, that did sound too bad!  


“I know what you’re thinking, and although yes, you do get to spend time with Lexa outside of this hell hole, she still thinks we’re together and guess what, that’s what the entire world will see too.” My smile dropped, she was right.  


“I need to tell Lexa, I can’t hold off any longer, this secret will ruin us if I keep it up much longer.” Raven nodded her head, agreeing with me.  


“Come on then, let’s go.” She grabbed my hand and dragged me off to hair and make up.  


We arrived in no time, the only sound I could hear way pulsating heart, beating in my ears. Raven swung me around and placed both hands on my shoulders, squeezing them reassuringly, “you can do this. You’re fine.”  


I could do this, I was fine.  


Raven swung me back around, patting my are and shoving my towards the door, I turned around and glared at her, “I’ll be waiting right here okay?”  


I turned around again, taking a deep breath, I opened the door.  
“Lexa?” I climbed up those few steps, letting the door drop behind me, the sound starting me.  


My steps faltered as I saw her lay across the sofa, one arm draped across her face as the other was tangled in her mane.  


“Lexa,” I whispered again.  


“I heard you.” She dropped both arms and moved to sit up, “what are you doing here Clarke? Haven’t you done enough?”  


I moved round the trailer and took a seat next to her, trying to ignore the way she subtly shuffled away from me.  


“We need to talk..” She growled at me, harshly rubbing her hands up and down her thighs before standing up.  


“Fucks sake Clarke, no.”  


“No?” I questioned her.  


“No! It’s my turn to talk.” I gulped, this didn’t sound good. “I’m so angry at you! How could you do this to me Clarke?”  


She started pacing the floor, an attempt to wear her anger out on anything that wasn’t me.  


“Not only do I have to deal with Raven a work, I now have to move in with the perfect couple too? Seriously Clarke, did you not think about me at all?”  


I opened my mouth to speak but she continued, “no, don’t answer that, I don’t want to know.”  


I shut my mouth and bowed my head, I had really fucked up. She sat down on the floor in front of me, leaning her back against a cupboard door. She looked so pained, tired and so fed up, all because of me.  


“I want to hate you. I want to despise you for putting me in this situation,” the eye contact was killing me, but I couldn’t look away, “but I can’t, I can’t hate you.” I felt a small sigh of relief leave my lips, “so instead I’ll just continue hating myself for letting you do this to me.”  


My heart broke, shattered at her words, “love, indeed, is weakness.”


	27. Part 27

I was speechless, lost and crushed. How could I possibly follow that?  


There was a moments silence before the door to her trailer burst open, startling both of us.  


“What the fuck Lexa?” Raven?  


“Raven? Get out!” Lexa and I jumped up, I glanced over to Lexa before turning back to Raven, “now!”  


“Raven.. I..” Lexa fried to defend herself be the venomous look Raven shot her way shut her straight up.  


“You.” She pointed at Lexa, “stop talking. And you,” She pointed to me, “grow some fucking balls.”  


“What?” Lexa’s question went unanswered.  


“Sign the god damn contracts because we all know we can’t get out of it now, and meet back here after shooting. We ALL need to talk.” With a final glare shot at both of us, she turned on her heel and stormed out.  


“Shit, shit, shit, shit!” Lexa was pacing again, rubbing her eyes, “she heard everything! She knows about us! Shit!”  


“Shut up Lexa!” I shouted, it was all too much and her panicking wasn’t helping me at all. Thankfully she didn’t question my outbreak and did as instructed, “Raven knows.”  


She stopped pacing and stared at me, shocked and dumbstruck.  


“Okay, now you can speak..”  


“She knows, about me? About us?” She asked timidly.  


“Yes, she does.”  


She started pacing again, “for how long?”  


I sat back down on the sofa, finally thankful for Ravens barrage. “since I first met you? I couldn’t exactly hide my attraction to you.”  


She wavered in her walking momentarily before starting up again, “right, so, I’m guessing that’s what she wants to talk about tonight..”  


I nodded my head, “pretty much, yes.”  


“Right..” More silence followed before the trailer started shaking, a fist was banging in the door from the outside.  


“Hair and make up need to be complete in 10 minutes, final call!” Both Lexa and I stood up, readying ourselves.  


“Okay then,” Lexa spoke, “let’s do this.”

_______________________________________________________ 

 

“AND CUT! That’s great guys! Get yourself off, you know the drill for tomorrow so best behaviour everyone!” Kane spoke through the unnecessary bullhorn before finally calling an end to this unforgiving day.  


Unfortunately it wasn’t quite yet over for three of us.  


I briefly looked around for either Raven or Lexa, but found neither, so continued my short journey to Lexa’s trailer, this was going to be interesting.  


As per usual, it didn’t take me long to reach my destination.  


I took a deep breath, “one.. Two.. Three” I counted, before knocking on the door.  


“Hello?” I called out to no reply. Quietly, I opened the door and poked my head through, it was empty. Feeling some of the nerves leave my body, I pushed the door open further and waltzed in, making myself comfy on the sofa.  


I checked my watch, trying to kill some time before finally settling on opening Spotify. I scrolled, and scrolled, was there any sort of song that would make this situation just a tiny bit better? I laughed as I spotted an ironic song, 99 problems by Hugo, it will do.  


I pressed play just as Raven walked through the door, “Clarke! Good scenes today! You think it went well?”  


She took a place next to me, casually picking up my phone to see what song was playing before placing it back on the table.  


“I think it did actually! I’m happy with the end result anyway, I guess we won’t really know until it airs.” Raven agreed with me, a silent understanding that it was still annoying we never get to see the edits before the air date.  


“I told Lexa that you know about me and her.” Hozier started playing next, I had to stop myself from singing along to the song, I’d always been a sucker for Angel of Small Death and Codeine. I shook my head, cursing myself for not paying more attention.  


“You did?” She turned around and hugged me, “that’s huge! I’m so happy for you!” I laughed at her giddiness, finally finding some sort of light in the dark.  


The familiar sound of the door shot open, “sorry to interrupt this moment..”  


Raven and I pulled away, perfect fucking timing Lexa..  


I saw Raven roll her eyes at the both of us, “cool it down lover girl.” She stood up and chose to sit on the kitchen counter opposite me, “sit down,” she ordered Lexa.  


Lexa looked around the room, noticing the only place left was Raven’s old seat, she ducked her head as she walked past Raven and gently sat down.  


“So,” Raven begun, slapping her hands on her knees in emphasis, “since you two are simply useless at talking to each other without either jumping to conclusions, shouting or cutting each other off, I am getting involved.” She stopped talking as a small laugh left her, “more involved than I already am.”  


I felt Lexa shuffle awkwardly beside me as we both waited for Raven to proceed.  


“Anyway, something is happening between you two, am I correct?” The question was obviously directed towards Lexa, I tenuously looked out the corner of my eye to see what Lexa would do, or say. Evidently, it was nothing.  


“It wasn’t a question Lexa, we all know that you’ve fucked each other. Is there more than that on your part?”  


There was another awkward shuffle from Lexa before a small but resounding “yes” gravitated from her.  


“Okay then.” She looked over to me, “and both you and I know Clarke that you want something more than casual fucking with Lexa, but does she know this?”  


I moved my attention to Lexa, “erm, I think she does?”  


Raven coughed, I got the hint, “do you?”  


Lexa was ambushed, I knew that this wasn’t particularly fair on her, but Raven was only coming from a good place, and honesty? This thing had gone on far too long.  


“I do now, I suppose.” I smiled, she had to know.  


“Good!” Raven drew our attention back to her, “now, the second line of business.” Raven shot me a look, it was now or never.  


Lexa took note of the silence, the anticipation only building as it grew. She looked between Raven and I, back and forth, waiting for one of us to speak.  


Raven made a point of staying silence, I sighed, I guess it was me doing the talking then.  


“It’s about Raven and our relationship.” Lexa sat up straight, pulling away from me slightly yet again.  


“I’m not sure I want to know about any sort of arrangement you two have..” Lexa spoke, intentional or not, she knew which buttons of Ravens to press, setting her off.  


“Do you ever have an off switch? Are you always going to think the complete worst of Clarke? Because if so, frankly, you don’t deserve her.” Raven jumped off the counter and started routing through the cupboards, finally settling on a box of cereal. Ripping the top back open, then returned to her position and starting eating.  


“Raven,” I jumped to Lexa’s defence, “it’s not her fault, what else is she supposed to believe?”  


“She doesn’t have to believe that you’re a dick who doesn’t care about anyone’s feelings?” I could understand where Raven was coming from, but I knew she was wrong.  


“Raven come on! She hasn’t said that in the slightest! Stop being like this!” Raven didn’t stop rolling her eyes at me, making a whipped sound as she did.  


“Being like what, Clarke? I’m simply looking out for you!” I was getting more frustrated at her, she didn’t know Lexa like I did!  


“GUYS! I’M SITTING RIGHT HERE YOU KNOW?” Raven finally stopped eating and had the decency to leave Lexa’s food alone at last. I flushed up at her voice, somehow forgetting she was sat right next to me.  


“What are you two talking about?” She sounded annoyed, I didn’t blame her.  


“Raven and I aren’t in a relationship, we’re not together.” Like a band-aid, I ripped if off, better late than never.  


Silence ensued. Raven started biting her nails which I rolled my eyes at, does she ever stop eating?  


“I don’t understand, but it’s everywhere?” I understood her confusion, it wasn’t a normal situation we found ourselves in.  


Raven spoke up, “we banged, it got caught on camera, production weren’t happy, had to sign a contract and pretend we were together so it didn’t look like we were just horny for each other.”  


I jumped in, “which were not! Horny for each other I mean..”  


Lexa gulped, nodding her head once as a sign for someone to continue.  


I took control this time, unsure of what else Raven could possibly say. “So yeh, we’re not together, not girlfriends or anything. Just best friends.”  


“But you did sleep together?” Lexa asked.  


“Once, it was just a sex thing, one night thing with a friend, we don’t see each other like that.” I tried my best to put her mind at ease, but I knew this was a lot to take it.  


“Okay.”  


I looked over at Lexa in surprise, “okay? Just okay?”  


She smiled, it was small, but it was definitely there. “just okay, I mean, I do have a ton of questions and quite frankly, I’m pissed that no one told me sooner,” I saw Raven cringe at Lexa’s words, “but that’s for another night. Now? Now we need to sign the contracts and settle in to our house for the week.”


	28. Part 28

“Are you ready for this girls?” Raven was bouncing around, far to excited my trailer whilst Lexa, Octavia and I sat and stared in wonder, it was sickening.  


Octavia groaned beside me, clearly I wasn’t the only one who thought so.  


“Okay let’s go over the plan of action one more time!”  


Octavia groaned once more, “do we have to Raven? It’s not rocket science!”  


“I concur.” Said Lexa, visibly drained from the days activities.  


“Come on guys, I’m not screwing up my contract because SOME PEOPLE can’t keep it in their pants.” Obviously she was talking about Lexa and I, but we’re weren’t that bad!  


“Hey! No one’s caught us! We’re fine!” Lexa must have taken offense to that as well.  


“Yes,” interrupted Raven, “but that was before we were getting followed by EW for a week with camera’s!”  


Octavia groaned again, “seriously, why have I been dragged into this?”  


“Because Kane is a perfectionist, and he needs his two money-makers to be the same, you know this.” Raven stood up, collecting all four contracts from us, giving one glance at every last page, ensuring they were all signed. “Okay, so we’re all best friends on camera, easy enough! And off camera, well, I have no idea when we’re going to be off camera so I guess we will soon see!”  


I cast my eyes to Lexa, she was already watching me. I reached across and held her hand, “it will be okay” I reassured.  


She squeezed my hand in reply before turning back to Raven, “Okay then, let’s go find Kane.”  


Following Raven, one by one we made our way to Kane’s office. No one was particularly happy with me which was totally justifiable, I just hoped this week would be over as quick as possible.  


“Girls!” Kane exclaimed, “glad you could make it! Are those the contracts?” He pointed to the papers in Raven’s hand and took them without waiting for an answer.  


“Perfect! Right, here are your keys, there’s a set each” he handed us a set before shoving a yellow post it note in Lexa’s direction, “here’s the address and phone number. Off you go, get set up, I’ll call you tomorrow at 9, camera’s are arriving at 10. Don’t be late.”  


Lexa folded the note up and stuffed it in your pocket alongside her keys, “I’ll text you all the address, I’m going home to pack. See you guys tonight or tomorrow I guess.”  


She walked out of the office first, I chased after her, “Lexa! Wait!”  


Maddened, she turned around, “yes, Clarke?”  


“Are we okay?” I asked hesitantly.  


“We’re fine.” She bluntly replied.  


“Somehow I don’t believe that.” It probably wasn’t the best idea to push this right away, but I couldn’t help it, I hated the distance between us.  


“We’re fine, Clarke.” She turned around and tried to walk away, my hand on her arm held her back.  


“We’re not. Can we talk, tonight, before everything starts tomorrow? Please.” I bargained, we needed to get rid of some of the tension before everyone noticed that we were far from fine.  


“I’ll text you.” She pulled her arm away and continued her path.  


“Please?” I called out to her, it went unanswered just as Octavia and Raven left Kane’s office.  


“Trouble in paradise?” Octavia asked me, well aware of what my answer would be.  


“Zip it, O. We’re fine.” 

________________________________________________________ 

 

“134 Garden Lane” I read out.  


“What?” Raven asked, she slowed the car down as the lights in front of us turned red.  


“Lexa just text me the address of our house.” She hadn’t text anything else, I couldn’t help but deflate at that.  


“Okay cool, so, your place or mine first?” I locked my phone and tucked it in my coat pocket, looking around at shops we were currently passing, I gauged where we were.  


“Might as well stop at your place first, we’re nearly there.” Raven took the handbrake off, placing the car is first gear, she drove to her abode.  


Pulling into the private car lot not 5 minutes later, she parked her car leaving me in the passenger seat, “I’ll be 10 minutes, 15 tops.”  


I nodded my head only to realise she had already set way to her place. I pulled my phone back out my pocket and unlocked it, no new notifications.  


Should I text her back? Should I leave it alone? I bit my lip on contemplation, fuck it.  


_-hey, are you going to the house tonight or tomorrow morning?-_  
_Sent, 10.23.  
_

Okay, that was friendly enough, wasn’t it? I mean, I wasn’t going to go about starting the discussion via texting, but I couldn’t just leave it be.  


I locked my phone, hoping that it would somehow stop me from clock watching.  


My foot tapped on the car floor. My head bounced along with a non-existent beat. My fingers drummed in a rhythm I hadn’t yet established.  


Fuck it. I unlocked my phone and opened up messenger.  


_Seen, 10.24.  
_

It was 10.26, it was only two minutes, she might not have decided yet!  


I locked my phone again and decided to look around the car lot, an attempt to busy myself.  


The silver Audi A3 next to us looked very fancy, I could imagine myself driving one of those.  


I looked round the other side, a black Mercedes G Wagon took residence next to Raven’s car, now that’s more like it.  


Realising that there wasn’t much else that caught my eye, I settled back in the car seat, trying to figure out how long I could hold my phone without unlocking it to see if Lexa has replied.  


Come on Clarke, fucking pull yourself together.  


It wasn’t long before the silence started to annoy me, I fiddled with Raven’s radio before I realised that she took the keys with her.  


I slumped further back in the seat, “come on..” I mumbled to an absent Raven.  


I was jolted by a vibration coming from my phone, Lexa?  


Sitting forward, I eagerly unlocked it, Lexa!  


_-I haven’t decided yet.-_  
_Seen 10.42.  
_

I replied immediately.  


_-Can you let me know when you do? I need to see you-_  
_Sent 10.42._  
_Seen 10.42.  
_

The three dots of death started up, taunting me. They stopped briefly taking my breath with it, before starting up again.  


_-Will do.-_  
_Seen 10.43.  
_

“Who you texting, Princess?” Ravens unexpected voice shocked me.  


“Lexa..” I replied.  


“Ah, everything okay there?” She started the car, pulling out of the lot before making our way over to my place. Shit, I hadn’t even thought about what clothes to take! “I know what you’re thinking, don’t worry about the clothes, that’s why O is there, just pack the essentials.”  


“Okay, yeh I can do that.” I put my phone back in my pocket, turning on the radio to drown out the silence.  


“So, Lexa?” Raven asked.  


“What about her?” I turned the radio quieter, readying myself for an onslaught of questions.  


“Wow, you’re not making this easy,” I could feel the force of her eye roll, “have you spoken?”  


“Oh! No, not really, I’m trying but she’s pissed, I think. I’m waiting to figure out whether she’s going to be joining us tonight or tomorrow. I guess we will soon see.”  


“Okay, that makes sense.” Raven slowed the car down, turning on the indicator as she prepared to pull into my road. “And, are we okay? You’re not mad at me?”  


“What? No! We’re great! Seriously, I’m thankful for you, who knows how long Lexa and I were going to go back and forth until you stepped in..” She laughed at my reply.  


“True. Anyway, here we are, up you go, I’ll wait for you, don’t be long!” She parked her car next to mine, turning the engine off.  


“Okay!” I climbed out in a hurry, not wanted to keep Raven waiting any longer than necessary.  


It didn’t take my long to reach my place and pack. Following Ravens advice, I simply packed my panties, laptop, tablet, all my chargers, a few books and some things to sleep in.  


I almost left my bedroom before I changed my mind, there was no harm in comfort packing. I opened my draws and grabbed several t-shirts and jeans before placing them in the same bag. I was startled by a loud knocking coming from my front door, “just a minute!”  


I walked into my living room, was there anything else? I couldn’t think of anything. I looked around, nothing was standing out, fuck it. If I needed anything I’ll just come back for it.  


I slung my bag over my shoulder as the loud knocking on the door continued, “Impatient much? I’m almost done Raven!” I shouted back, the knocking continued.  
With one last sweep over the place, I walked to my door, “I’m coming! Jesus..”  


I opened it, fully prepared to rip Raven a new one, “Lexa?”  


What was she doing here?  


“Hey Clarke, I was wondering if we could travel together?”


	29. Part 29

“Of course! Yes! Please!” I cringed at my over enthusiastic answer, “I’m ready now if you are?”  


Lexa nodded her head in a single motion and moved back, giving my space to leave through the front door.  


“Raven is driving by the way.. We’re not alone.” I turned around and locked the door, heaving my bag back onto my shoulder.  


“I figured as such, that’s why I’m here.” I spun around to question her but left her to continue speaking, “I need to speak to both of you.”  


She surprised me, but I was barely in a position to question her, if that’s what she wanted, what she needed, then of course I’d deliver.  


“Okay then.” I mumbled, mainly to myself as we made our way back to the car.  


No words were spoken along the way, I guessed Lexa was saving all her words for the both of us, the thought made me nervous.  


We soon found ourselves outside Raven’s car, I could see the confusion written all over Raven’s face as she stared at me through the windscreen. I opened up a back passenger door for Lexa, hoping chivalry might make the talk slightly easier, but from the cold shoulder she gave me as she brushed past, it wasn’t likely.  


I closed the door behind her once she was settled in and opened mine, climbing in I looked to Raven, “So Lexa is travelling with us, if you hadn’t figured that out.”  


“Yeh! I can see!” She exclaimed, she turned around and smiled at Lexa, “how’s it going? You all packed and ready?”  


I watched through her wordlessly nod her head at Raven through the mirror. Raven turned around awkwardly and started the engine, looking at me as she spoke, “right, well, let’s go I suppose.”  


It was a silent ride, save for the few directions spouting from Raven’s GPS, we were only a few roads from our destination before Lexa spoke up, “can you please pull the car over?”  


“What? Is something wrong? Are you okay?” Raven panicked. I turned around in my seat to look over her, she wasn’t bleeding, nothing sticking out where it didn’t belong, she still looked sun kissed and her eyes still sparkled.  


“Finished staring at me, Clarke? I am fine, now, please stop the car.” I flushed at Lexa’s words and turned around in my seat, Raven looked over at me whilst she pulled the car over to the side of the road, her face was full of worry matching mine.  


“Okay, so we’ve stopped, now what?” Raven asked as she turned off the engine.  


“Now we talk about how you two lied to me.” Lexa wasn’t holding anything back.  


“We didn’t lie!” Raven spoke, “we just merely held back the truth.”  


I looked at Raven incredulously, “are you trying to help or make things worse?”  


I turned round in my seat a second time to look at Lexa, “I’m sorry, I wanted to tell you so many times, but we were bound my contract not to say anything.”  


“But you told Octavia.” I glared at Raven before turning back to Lexa.  


“Yeh, but that was due to loudmouth over there speaking before noticing the company, it was simply bad timing.” Raven smacked my arm in jest.  


“Okay. So if you wanted to tell me, why didn’t you?” I gulped as Lexa swung one leg over the other, settling herself in.  


“I wanted to,” I started, I was scared of how the discussion was going to do, “but I was scared. I didn’t know you, or what you would do when you found out.”  


“You didn’t trust me.” She was hurt, that much was obvious.  


“I’m sorry.” I watched as she dropped her head at my admission, my heart dropping with it. This wasn’t going well.  


“So you let me trust you, trust you enough to tell you who I am, who my family are, yet that wasn’t enough for you?” Her voice broke halfway through.  


I hear a door open, Raven was getting out the car, “I’m just gonna give you some space.. ”  


I turned back to Lexa, “it was!”  


“Clearly it wasn’t!” It was the first time she raised her voice to me, “I’m sorry.”  


“No, I’m sorry. I don’t have an excuse, I don’t have a reason. I could have tried harder, I should have tried harder.” I sat back in the seat, unable to see the broken look Lexa continued to wear. I knew I fucked up, I just wasn’t sure how I could fix it.  


“What’s done is done. Would you like to call Raven back to the car?” I reached across the console and popped the door open, signalling for Raven to return.  


She gave me a questioning look as she did, clearly she wanted to know if I was okay. I politely smiled at her and buckled my seat belt, “right then, let’s get going.”  


It turned out we were closer to the house than we originally thought. Raven whistled as she pulled into the driveway, “Kane really went all out on this! Could we even afford this house without Kane’s help?”  


“Maybe not you guys..” I smiled at Lexa’s sly response, we both knew she could afford to buy it many, many times over.  


The comment seems to fly over Ravens head as she parked the car next to Octavias who came flying out the front door, “have you seen the size of this thing? What took you guys so long!”  


“We were just packing everything up, took longer than expected,” Raven covered for us, I thanked her with a smile as I climbed out of the car, dragging my bag behind me.  


“Well you’re here now, I’ve already sorted my room out, there’s two rooms left, both the same size. One for the happy couple, and one for Lexa.” Raven, Lexa and I paled at Octavia’s words, we hadn’t even thought about sleeping arrangements.  


“O!” I called out, noticing Lexa’s discomfort, “Lexa knows.”  


“Oh! Okay then, so one for the happy couple, and one for Raven?” I burst out laughing at her words.  


“Slow down there, I’ll just bunk with you if you don’t mind.” I didn’t want to put Lexa is an even worse situation than she already was. I noticed Lexa straighten at my words as she brushed past again walking through the front door.  


Octavia seemed to cotton onto my words, surprised I wasn’t jumping at the opportunity to sleep in the same bed as Lexa. “Yeh! Course!” She waited until Lexa was out of ear shot, “what’s that about?”  


I sighed, it was obvious Lexa and I weren’t on speaking terms, we needed to sort this out before the camera’s turned up tomorrow morning. “She’s not happy with me, with the fact I kept the whole ‘fake relationship’ a secret from her.”  


Octavia took my bag from me and led me to her room, Raven trailed along beside us, “so this week is either going to make or break you?”  


I nodded, sighing once more, “pretty much, and considering this week I need to pretend to be pathetically in love with loudmouth over there, I’m not hopeful.”  


She threw her arm over my shoulder, “don’t be like that, you’ve got me and Raven helping you, we will figure it out!” She stopped outside a door, “so this is us.”  


I pushed down the handle and swung it open, “very nice!” I heard the door behind us open, I swung around and found myself face to face with Lexa.  


“Clarke. Octavia.” I felt oddly formal.  


“Lexa.” Octavia and I spoke in time, I felt O look back and forth between Lexa and I before taking a step into our joint room and closing the door behind her.  


“Do I need to be worried about Octavia too? Have you slept with her as well?” She asked as she leant against the door frame.  


My gaze dropped to the floor, “no, I haven’t slept with O. She’s a friend, nothing more.”  


“You say ‘friend’ as if it’s a reason why you would never sleep with someone, which is clearly not the case.” I guess I deserved that, but it didn’t hurt any less.  


“Are you angry at me not telling you about Raven, or me sleeping with Raven?” I watched as her jaw tensed at my reply, she pushed herself off the door frame and took a step towards me.  


“Does it matter?” She asked, “Does it change anything?” She took another step closer to me, “Does it finally make you trust me?”  


It was a dig, a sly remark, and it stung like a bitch. She took one last look at me before retreating back into her room, “goodnight, Clarke.”


	30. Part 30

**DAY ONE  
**

“Rise and shine girlies!” Octavia and I were woken up by a lump jumping on the bed.  


“Go away Raven.” I heard Octavia grumble, I was still hoping that if I pretended to be asleep long enough, she would leave. We both knew that wasn’t the case.  


“No can do, it’s 8, Kane is calling at 9, everyone arrives at 10.” She wiggled on us again, forcing another groan from mine and Octavias mouths.  


“I’m awake! I’m awake!” I mumbled, “please, just get your fat ass off me.”  


“Fat ass? As if. My ass is a masterpiece and you know it.” She boasted as she climbed off the bed, fixing her ponytail as she did.  


“Debatable.” Octavia teased. She sat up in the bed, inadvertently pulling the sheet off me as she went, I whined at the cold breeze which coated my body.  


Octavia climbed out of bed giving me the chance to wrap the sheet around myself. Cocooned, I waddled out the door and followed Raven and O as they walked to the kitchen.  


“Morning Lexa!” Raven chirped. I sped up at the sound of her name, almost tripping over the ends of the bed sheet before seeing her. Her back was facing me as she was cooking, what definitely smelt like, excellently made bacon and eggs, I moaned at the smell and sat down at the kitchen island opposite her. Could she get anymore perfect?  


Octavia sat down next to me as Raven walked straight to the fridge picking out a carton of orange juice, “that smells amazing! Please tell me you made enough for us all?”  


“Of course I did. Grab yourselves a plate, its almost ready.” Raven did as instructed, placing a plate in front of us all alongside a glass of juice.  


“I could get used to this.” I offhandedly commented.  


Lexa turned around, frying pan in hand as she equally shared out the pristinely cooked bacon on all four plates. She placed the empty pan in the sink before doing the same with the eggs, I couldn’t stop my mouth from watering at the sight. 

____________________________________________________ 

 

“Yes, Kane, we understand.” Lexa and Octavia murmured in unison, they had just been brief on keeping Raven and I perfect whilst the camera’s were rolling, which would be a week. It was an exceptional job Kane was asking the two girls, but I had no doubts they would conquer the goal. 

____________________________________________________ 

 

“So Clarke, tell me what happened to change the dynamic of your relationship with Raven?” The reporter pushed, she immediately caught Raven and I off guard. We hard prepared to address the rumours, the pictures, the TV show and the future, but never how we actually begun.  


I turned to Raven, hoping she had more of a clue of what to say than I did, “why don’t you answer this, sweetie? You always told it better.” I finished with a smile.  


I could tell by the smile that Raven returned that I was going to pay for it later, “sure thing babe!”  


She turned back to the reported before spouting off fairytales left, right and centre about the first thing she thought when she saw me and how she was scared to speak to me for months.  


I agreed with her, “there was always something there, something lurking in the distance, neither of us were willing to make the first move. It continued for weeks, months even before a mutual friend finally closed the distance between us, and the rest, well, the rest has been magical.”  


I couldn’t stop the smile that broke my face in half, we couldn’t have given a more perfect answer. My hug, which I reached across the sofa to give, was nothing less than real, she stepped up, she was perfect. “Thank you,” I whispered in her ear.  


We pulled apart when we both realised the company, “So a true Hollywood romance?” The reporter pushed once again.  


“I wouldn’t go that far, we’re just two young girls that are discovering themselves and their relationship.” Raven reached across to hold my hand, squeezing it as she did.  


The reporter smiled at both of us before turning towards the camera, speaking to it directly, “you heard it first here folks, two young girls against Hollywood, against the world. We follow them this week throughout work and their personal lives, gaining an insight into both. Stay turned, there’s more coming up on the EW. Next. ”  


The camera’s stopped rolling and the reporter turned towards us, “Okay girls, that was perfect, no more camera’s until 12. So we will see you then!”  


She got us and left with the rest of the crew, without a another word.  


“That wasn’t so bad!” Raven turned to face me on the sofa, resting her head on her hand.  


“Yeh, it could have gone worse! I think we did okay!” I let out a sigh of relief.  


“You guys did great, I totalled believed it!” Octavia walked through the door holding what seemed the be several new outfits for us to try on.  


“I agree with Octavia, you two should be fine this week.” I looked behind Octavia and smiled as Lexa walked in, if she thought it would be okay then I believed her. 

_____________________________________________________ 

 

“Yo, Lexa! Get that fine ass in here!” Octavia yelled.  


The three of us were sat on the sofa waiting for Lexa and the popcorn to grace us with their presence before we played Sex and the City 2, the camera’s were trained on us, watching that they thought was a typical Saturday night.  


“I’m here! I’m here, keep your panties on.” She placed the abnormally large bucket of popcorn on the table in front of us all before slumping down on the sofa to the left of me, “you could have played it, you know I hate these movies.”  


Raven reached forward grabbing a handful of popcorn before settling back next to me on my right, “I know, but it was three against one. And honestly? The main reason I love this movie so much is because of your distaste for it.”  


Octavia laughed along with Raven, “yeh, we feed on your misery.”  


The banter went back and forth, it was amazing how easy and comfortable it was. It was almost easy and comfortable enough to forget the camera’s currently focused on us. Almost.  


Raven seemed the remember the current company and reached across to hold my hand, leaning into me she rested her head on my shoulder. I felt Lexa stiffen on the other side of me, she must have seen Raven’s actions. I put my left hand down on the cushion residing between Lexa and I, spreading my fingers so my pinky touched the outside of her thigh. It was barely there, a slight brush, but it was enough. I knew the camera’s were trained on us, I know we were going to be watched, re-watched and scrutinised, but I couldn’t do nothing. Lexa’s thigh moved an inch closer to my hand, she accepted my reassurance.  


The corners of my mouth raised in a small, satisfying smile. She hadn’t shunned me away, she hadn’t moved or pushed me aside.  


Could this be hope?  


Could she be forgiving me?  


I didn’t want to push it, I knew Lexa had to come to me on her own terms. I left my pinky against her thigh for the rest of the movie, occasionally swiping it up and down, left to right and back.  


I missed her touch, I missed her kisses, her smell and her smile. I missed the way she held me close to her, I missed the way she used to say my name without contempt.  


Did she feel the same?  


Don’t be stupid, Clarke. Of course she did, otherwise you wouldn’t be in this situation right now.  


I looked to my right, Raven had fallen asleep on my shoulder as had Octavia on the other sofa. I looked to see if Lexa was still awake and laughed, she couldn’t have looked more bored of the film if she tried.  
Her eyes flickered to mine, she saw me laughing and smiled, “Okay there, Clarke?”  


My smile grew wider, “you look like you want to be anywhere else but here right now.”  


Her eyes dropped to my hand next to her thigh, “I wouldn’t say that.” Her eyes raised to mine again, “I would say that I am completely over this film, as are Raven and Octavia.”  


“Help me put them to bed?”  


She checked the time on her phone, “yeh come on, we have an early shoot tomorrow.” Standing up, she lobbed Octavia over her shoulder, laughing at how she stayed asleep before carrying her upstairs.  


I debated my own movements but decided on waiting for Lexa, there’s no way I’ll be able to carry Raven on my own. It wasn’t long before Lexa came back empty handed, “need help?”  


I laughed, “what do you think?”  


“I think you’re a weakling who needs to hit the gym more.”  


“Rude.” I teased as she carried Raven wedding style through the halls. I followed her as she placed Raven on her bed. We noticed the camera’s following us into the room, watching the domesticated scene play out. We both knew that I wasn’t sleeping in this room, what was I going to do?  


Lexa must have seen the worry etched in my face, “right, well, I’m going to bed too,” She turned towards the cameramen and waited for them to get the hint, nothing happened.  


“That was a hint guys,” still no movement. I shifted from side to side, unsure of what to do. I could tell Lexa was getting angrier and angrier, rightfully so. “Seriously, turn the cameras off unless you want to be slapped with a serial harassment lawsuit.”  


That seemed to light a spark under their ass as the little red light finally turned off and they left sheepishly.  


I turned to Lexa, “thank you.”  


“Don’t worry about it, that wasn’t on, I’ll be having words with Kane tomorrow.” I nodded my head, agreeing with her.  


“Anyway, I really am going to bed. You may want to leave it a few minutes before leaving this room.” She turned on her heels and walked to the door, I followed to see her out.  


“Lexa,” I called out before she opened the door, “seriously, thank you.”  


She lifted her eyebrow in acknowledgement, “sleep well, Clarke.”


	31. Part 31

**DAY TWO  
**

“So, how are you coping with the cameras?” I looked at Lexa through the mirror in front of me, we were currently in her bedroom while she made me pretty enough Kane’s approval.  


She met my eyes in the mirror before flicking back at her hands that were currently fixing my bed hair, “I’m not a fan, you know I chose to stay behind the lens for a reason.”  


“I remember,” I paused, “I’m sorry for dragging you into this mess.”  


She pinned the last of my hair up before moving to grab her make up bag, “I know you are, what’s done is done. What good does it do if you continue to apologise to me?”  


She picked up a brush and foundation before starting on her canvas, “so you know how I feel?” I asked as she continued covering me before selecting several other pencils.  


“I know how you feel, Clarke”  


I pulled back slightly and looked up at her, “you do?”  


She let out a small smile before manoeuvring my head, I felt the first pencil trace over my eyebrow, “Of course I do.”  


“Okay then” I awkwardly murmured.  


“Okay then.”

____________________________________________________ 

 

Lexa strolled past me in the kitchen and walked straight to the stove, busying herself with breakfast like she did yesterday. Octavia and I took the same seats as Raven poured us each a glass of juice, it fell into an unspoken agreement, it was our routine for the rest of the week.  


It was obvious that none of us were used to the cameras yet, and truthfully, none of us wanted to. We were restricted, bound. We were holding ourselves back, being who the big bosses wanted us to be rather than being ourselves, because ourselves isn’t who they want to see, ourselves isn’t good enough, and who would want to get used to that?  


This week couldn’t be over fast enough.  


I was knocked out my thoughts by Octavia nudging me, “you okay there space cadet?”  


“Yeh, sorry.” The doorbell rang and I jumped up to get it, hoping that it would give me at least ten seconds of being camera free, but of course they followed me.  


I swung the door open, “Kane! I wasn’t expecting you, everything okay?” I moved aside and let him past.  


“I’m fine, keep the door open and take me to Lexa.” I did as instructed.  


“Lex!” I called out, “Kane is here for you!”  


I showed him to the kitchen where he sat down in my empty seat, “good morning sir. Is she here?”  


Both Raven and Octavia looked at me, questioning what was happening. I shrugged in reply just as unaware as they were.  


“She will be soon.”  


“Good morning girls! And Kane!” All 5 of us turned around, it was the same woman who interviewed Raven and I yesterday. Were we scheduled to do another interview? Surely not, we had shooting today didn't we?   


“Hello Harper.” Kane welcomed, “Lexa?”  


She shared out the bacon and eggs onto four plates before handing them out, she looked over to the interviewer, Harper apparently. I should have remembered that. “Camera?”  


Harper nodded to the cameramen who turned them off and left the room.  


Lexa sat down opposite us all, “I would like some sort of agreement which stops the cameramen from entering our bedrooms. It took them far too long to leave Clarke and Ravens room last night, and quite frankly, I did not feel safe leaving them alone last night, this is not acceptable.”  


Raven looked over to me, confusion evident on her face, I placed my hand on her shoulder and whispered “I’ll tell you later," in her ear.  


Harper looked to Kane, “they’re here to follow you around, I can’t place a ban on 4 rooms in the house.”  


Kane stood up and walked over to where I was stood, empathy in his eyes, “these are my girls, I can’t have them in a place where they do not feel safe. Either replace the cameramen, or do not allow them in the bedrooms after 10pm. These are working girls, they take their jobs seriously, I can guarantee that you will not see anything interesting in the rooms past that time.”  


He looked over us all, seeing if anyone had anything to add. Harper smiled, “I’ll do both, as long as everyone promises to keep to the communal areas as much as possible? We have got a show to make.”  


“A fair deal, is this okay girls? Lexa?” Kane asked in permission.  


Everyone nodded their heads, confusion we sill written all over Octavia and Raven’s face but they still agreed.  


“Sorted, well I’ll see everyone on the set in an hour.” Kane left the kitchen and saw himself out.  


“I’ll send the guys home, two new workers will meet you on set.” Harper smiled before following Kane out the door.  


“Okay, can someone explain? Please?” Raven asked, I laughed as I started eating my breakfast, moaning at the taste. Cooked to perfection.  


“Don’t worry about it guys, it’s handled.”  


Octavia and Raven Grumbled before finishing their food and shuffling off.  


I almost followed before stopping, “Lex?” I turned around and sat back down opposite her, “why did you do that? I was fine.”  


“I didn’t want you worrying about being caught in someone else’s room.” She alluded.  


“I’m pretty sure I could have just wormed my way out of it if someone caught me sleeping in O’s room.”  


Lexa stood up and placed her empty dish in the sink, “and if someone caught you sleeping in mine?”  


I paused, “why would I be sleeping in your room?”  


She turned back around to face me, leaning back against the sink, “you might be too tired to leave.”  


“What? From doing hair and make up?” That was never a tiring task.  


Lexa laughed before pushing herself off the sink, she took a step forward to lean on the counter, placing her face inches in front of mine, “not from hair and make up, no.”  


I was confused, then why else would I be in Lexa’s room? What could tire me out?  


Oh.  


“There we go,” she smirked at me, “finally got it.”  


_____________________________________________________ 

 

The shooting for that day hadn’t taken long thankfully, I only had two scenes, both of which were with Raven. We bounced off each other so well that they were wrapped up relatively quick.  


“Hey roomie, ready to go?” Raven caught up with me as I made my way to the parking lot.  


“Fuck yes.” I sighed.  


Raven jumped into the passenger seat as I climbed in the drivers. With the key in the ignition, windows rolled down and Bob Dylan playing, we made our way home.  


Making it home in record time, Raven slid out of the car and strode to the front door, “did we make it before before the camera crew?”  


I could hear the excitement in her voice, “we did! We're alone!”  


Relief swept over us both as we collapsed on the sofa, my legs on her lap. I kicked my shoes off sighing with relief, “rub me, woman.”  


She laughed as she placed her hands on my calves, squeezing and running them up and down.  


“Well isn’t this domestic.” We both turned our heads at the intrusion.  


“O! Hey!” We waved to Octavia as she sat down on the other sofa, “how was your day?”  


“Long, tiring.” She dramatically flung her head back, “and it’s not even over.”  


We knew she was referring to the cameras which were bound to enter at any moment.  


“EUGH. As if it hasn’t even been two days yet. We haven’t even done anything interesting!” I vented.  


“Oh, yeh, about that. Kane wants us to amp up the PDA.” I lifted my head up and looked at Raven painfully before flopping back down.  


“Great.” I sighed, “what does he want exactly?”  


“A few kisses, he said we're sorted with the fluff, but wants the passion.”  


I heard Octavia laugh at her words, “passion? That’s going to be fun to watch.”  


I rolled my eyes, “Cheers for the support, O.”  


She stood up and skipped over to us, giving us both a kiss on the forehead, “anytime babes.”  


We heard the front door open and the calamity that entered through it, all three of us sighed knowing what it meant. “Guess that break is over, time to continue the acting.”  


“Ladies.” We all looked over and welcomed Lexa as she walked in. She walked over to where I was lay and motioned for me to sit up. I did as told and watched as she settled down beneath me, laying my head back on her lap.  


“You’ve messed your hair up.” She said as she started the take the bobby pins out.  


“It’s been a stressful day, sorry.”  


She tutted at me, “what did I say about apologies, Clarke?”  


I blushed remembering her words from earlier. She took note of the rouge spreading across my cheeks and slyly smiled at me, happy with the reaction she caused.  


“Pizza for tea?” I sat up at the sound of Raven’s words, “so it’s a yes from Clarke, you two okay with that?” Both Octavia and Lexa agreed with the idea, “awesome. I’ll go order.”  


Raven climbed off the sofa and trotted to the kitchen where we kept all the take out menus whilst Lexa turned on the TV. Greys anatomy was just about to start and by the looks of it, Lexa was well aware of this.  


“Oh my god yes! I have been looking forward to this all day!” I exclaimed.  


There was a cough that came from one of the cameramen, both Lexa and I turned around at the strange sound, “actually ladies, you’re going to have to turn this off, we haven’t got rights for the advertisement. And the pizza needs to be somewhere not branded, it’s the same with product placement, we haven’t got the rights.”  


We both sighed in frustration, Lexa turned off the TV whilst I went and found Raven in the kitchen, “hey, we can’t order named pizza, product placement rights, the usual shit.” Raven let out a groan at the news.  


“Come with me to the store, we’ll make the pizza instead!” I suggested, at least this way I could escape from the house.  


“Deal. Can we sneak out though? I can’t be bothered with the hassle of Mike and Ike.”  


I laughed at her, “Mike and Ike?” I asked.  


“Yeh, like the candy. Nice to look at, but completely tasteless.”

____________________________________________________ 

 

The shopping for ingredients didn’t take long, neither did the cooking off the pizza. Everyone had their own selection of toppings, ranging from kale and spinach (Raven), to crispy bacon and jalapeños (Octavia). We ate in silence as Lexa played music from her phone, there were occasional compliments about both the pizza and the chef, but they were mumbled and spoken through chewed up pizza.  


Just like usual, it was comfortable, normal. There was no pressure on needing to do anything or say anything to each other, I could only hope that we could continue this friendship after the week was over.


	32. Part 32

**DAY THREE**

“Come on, rise and shine. I’ve let you sleep in long enough, I have this killer outfit I wanna try out.” I grumbled as a very awake Octavia climbed on top of me, bouncing as she did. I picked up her pillow beside me and held it down over my face, trying to block out the intrusion. 

“O. I love you, but please, for the love of god, get off me.” It was too early for this crap.

She bounced several more times, “Come onnnnn.” I lifted the pillow from my face and hit Octavia round hers.

“You bitch!” Laughing, we fought for control of the pillow before she finally won and swung it behind her. 

“Woah, careful there.” Octavia and I looked behind her at the sound. 

“Lexa?” Octavia swung her legs off me, shuffling back to lean against the headboard, “morning!” I followed Octavia’s movements and leant against the headboard too. 

“Good morning girls, I bought you breakfast.” She placed two plates on the desk by the door, she turned to leave but Octavia interrupted. 

“Wait, I need to go and get clothes and stuff, you take mine.” She jumped off the bed and walked past Lexa, hip-checking her further into the room as she did. 

Lexa stumbled, watching as Octavia closed the door behind her, “well okay then.” She picked the plates up and walked over to the bed, sitting in Octavia’s recently vacated space. 

“How did you sleep?” She pulled her legs up, resting her plate on them as cut up her perfectly cooked (yet again) bacon. 

“Good, thank you.” I replied, moaning around the bacon that was doing a splendid job of bringing my mouth to life, “although O does punch in her sleep. I can’t remember the last time I had so many bruises on my arms.”

Lexa moved her finished plate off her lap, placing it on the floor, “but you do remember having so many bruises in other places on your body?”

I faltered, placing my plate on the bedside table next to me. Leaning back against the headboard again, I tilted my head and looked at her, “I tend to remember how I get the bruises on my legs, my thighs, my stomach, my neck,” I paused, gauging her reaction, “occasionally my wrists too.”

She let out a shake breath, her eyes briefly dropping to my lips, “is that so?”

I continued teasing, biting my lips before soothing them with a gentle flick of my tongue, “I guess I just like being marked, to be owned, taken,” I slowly smiled again, loving the attention, “to be used.”

Lexa smiled with me before looking away, taking in the new surroundings, “I know what you’re doing here, Clarke.”

I tilted my head innocently, “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Lexa.”

Her head whipped round, a teasing look in her eye, “yes you do. You’re trying to turn me on.”

“And why would I do that?”

“Sex. You want me to fuck you again, that much is obvious” She crossed one leg over the other as they stretched out on the bed, “but it’s also more to it, isn’t it?”

I didn't reply. 

“You don’t have to answer. I know you want more, it’s no secret Clarke.” I found myself nodding at her words, she looked over to me, contemplating. 

“I miss you, Lex.” I looked back to her, “so yes, you’re right, there’s more to it.”

She leant to the side, leaning closer to me, “tell me why you’re trying to turn me on, Clarke.”

I closed my eyes briefly before taking a breath, “so you’ll come back to me.”

She stayed silent, and after my admission I was feeling too vulnerable to stick around. I sat up and swung my legs off the bed fully prepared to stand and leave, but she held onto my hand stopping me. “Let me ask you three things. After that, you are free to leave if you so wish.”

I looked at her over my shoulder and nodded my head. 

“Number one: do you have any feelings for Raven?” She started. 

I swung my body round and faced her, “I have zero romantic feelings for her.”

Pleased with my answer, she moved on. “Number two: Are you hiding anything else from me?”

“No, nothing.” I answered immediately. 

She nodded her head slightly before asking her final question, “and lastly,” she paused, “can you forgive me?”

I watched her slowly withdraw from me, not wanting it to happen I climbed up on the bed and straddled her, “what? Forgive you for what?” I lifted her chin raising her eyes to mine, “you have nothing to apologise for.” I placed her hands on my thighs and pulled her in closer. 

“I do, I have been acting less than exemplary.” I laughed. 

“Less than exemplary? Lex, you found out upsetting information, you’re allowed to act however you want if it makes you feel better.” I rested my forehead against hers, “plus, I did kind of deserve it.”

I felt her gently shake her head dismissing my words, “no you didn’t, you just got caught up in something bigger than both of us.”

“Which I’m still sorry for dragging you into.”

She pulled away from me slightly, “do I need to repeat myself again? What have I told you about your apologies Clarke? They’re going to fall on deaf ears.”

“Right, yes, I’m sor..” I stopped myself from apologising, yet again. “I’ll stop apologising if you don’t blame yourself for allowing yourself to feel.”

She laughed at me, she obviously heard me stumble over yet another apology but let it slide, “deal.”

The agreement lightened up the mood and I found myself laughing with her, watching as her eyes left mine and trailed down my body. I suddenly remembered my position and shuffled awkwardly.

Her eyes raised back to mine, her eyebrow quirking in amusement, “comfy?”

Her hands which had up until this point, had been still on my thighs, starting moving, trailing higher and higher before settling on my hips. 

I smiled teasingly at her, “I could be comfier.” She tilted her head in question. My teasing smile broadened before I swiftly removed my shirt. 

“You sleep without a bra on.”

I laughed and looked down, “I guess my nipples gave that away?”

“You’re cold.” 

“I guess my nipples gave it away again Captain Obvious. Anything else you want to make me aware of?” She flushed in embarrassment making me smile. 

“You’re beautiful.”

This time is was my turn to flush in embarrassment as her words took me completely off guard. I bit my lip at the sincerity of them and leant forward, knowing words would fail me now, I kissed her. 

We both knew this kiss was different. 

The kiss was a fresh start, a new beginning. 

The kiss also started getting hotter when she decided to bite my bottom lip, I couldn’t stop the moan from escaping me if I tried. She did it again, soothing her tongue over the newly forming bruise before twisting it around mine. 

Her hands gripped my hips harder as they started grounding down on hers, pulling me into a rhythm I was far too happy with. 

Abruptly, she pulled away from me, “what’s the time?”

I looked over my shoulder to the clock on the dressing table, “7.45, why?”

“I have a 9 o’clock start today.” She looked at the clock behind me, “I have time.”

“Oh yeh? Time for what?” I continued my grinding motion, my clit was deliciously rubbing against her.

“For you to ride my fingers to orgasm of course.”

“You think you can get me off that quick?” I teased back, continuing to grind my clit against her, we both knew that she could. Hell, I was close to coming already and she hadn’t even touched me yet. 

“Yes, I do.” She moved a hand from my hip, placing it perfectly between my legs. I bit my lip hoping to hide the moan currently forcing its way through me, I was determined to not show her just how much she got to me. 

“You seem pretty sure of yourself.” 

She smirked at me, squeezing between my legs even harder, “that’s because I am sure of myself. I can remember just how hard you came for me in the past, why should now be any different?”

“Because I might not let you touch me.” I stopped grinding against her for emphasis, “I might just make you watch as I touch myself.” I pulled her hand away from the bridge between my thighs, squeezing her fingers as I placed it on my side. 

“Well that’s just mean.” 

I laughed at her response, “maybe I’m feeling mean then.”

I bit my lip as I started grinding against her again, making sure she was watching me as I teased the skin showing above my trousers. I lifted my top higher, stroking my stomach, enjoying the sensation as I stroked harder and harder, leaving scratch marks as I went. 

I grinned to myself, her eyes widened at my actions. I clearly loved being marked, I told her so before, maybe I should show her as well. 

I dug my nails in harder, moaning to myself. Remembering we were pushed for time, I worked my way into my pants, blushing slightly at the mess I had already made. 

“This shouldn’t take long.” Grinning again at Lexa’s besotted expression, I started to circle my clit. I knew she wouldn’t be happy with my pants blocking her view, but I was enjoying the power play we had going on right now, so moving my pants out the way would come later, after I do. 

I moaned as my skilled fingers flickered back and forth, I didn’t want to hold out, I didn’t want to tease any longer. I surged forward and kissed Lexa, twisting my free hand round her hair pulling her closer to me. 

I felt her groan in response so I pulled again, harder, and tensed as the sound travelled straight through me. I felt my chest start to clench and my toes start to tingle. I pushed harder against my fingers moaning my enthusiasm into Lexa’s mouth, panting as my hips rocked in time with my fingers. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” I continuingly gasped. I looked down to my covered hand before looking back up to Lexa, I wanted to watch her, I wanted to see her reaction as I came over my own fingers. 

“Jesus Clarke,” She breathed out, grasping at my hips. I pulled her hair once more, revelling at the loud grunt that escaped her. 

The sound, again, ricocheted through me. I pulled again, once, twice, three times, “Clarke!”

Hearing her groan my name sent me rocketing over the edge, my eyes rolled back as my hips convulsed, my fingers dancing in a lost rhythm as I purred her name, “Lexa! YES!”

My fingers continued dancing as my hips continued shaking, moans and declarations spilling out as I savoured my release.

I finally let go of Lexa’s hair, resting my forehead against hers and I tried to catch my breath, I opened my eyes and found hers staring back at me. She was shaking, vibrating with desperation, her eyes black with desire, her hands gripping with purpose, “Clarke, I need.. I need, oh god.”

I pulled my head back, giving her some space. I knew what she needed, I could smell her from here. 

“Clarke..” She paused again, so turned on apparently she has lost the ability to speak. 

I knew I could have helped her out, I knew I could have spoken for her, but I was loving this too much, the sly grin on my face giving that away. 

A knock on the bedroom door pulled us out of our trance, “is it safe to come in?” Octavia. Fuck. What was she doing here? 

I checked the time, 8.17, we weren’t late were we? I grabbed my shirt from the side of me and covered up. 

Octavia didn’t wait for a reply as she barged through the door, “I have those outfits I mentioned before, we need to sort them out, send a few pictures to Anya and Kane.”

I looked at Lexa and almost laughed at the devastated look painted across her features, her eyes darted between O and I. “Sorry” I mouthed, she rolled her eyes in reply. 

“Seriously, please de-mount from Lexa and get your butt over here, I’ve got a dozen of things I need you to try on.” I laughed at Octavia as I pressed an apologetic kiss to Lexa’s cheek. I climbed off and waltzed over to her, eyeing the pile of clothes in my path. 

“You, Raven and I aren’t schedule today, so we have time to go through everything thoroughly. Such fun!” She dryly exclaimed. 

“This is your job, O, you can’t hate it that much.” I tied up my hair in a loose bun, preparing myself for the fashion show. 

“I don’t hate it, I just didn’t imagine I’d be getting paid to dress your fat ass, honestly, I need a raise.” I smacked her arm in gest. 

“Fat ass? My ass is lovely. Don’t you agree, Lex?” I asked her, tossing a wink at her over my shoulder. She still hadn’t recovered yet, and judging by the shiver which ran through her at my question, she wouldn’t be for a while. 

Not waiting for an answer, I turned back to O, “what’s first then?” She threw a pair of jeans at me which I barely caught, “I’ve got a few styles of jeans first, so you may want to get a fresh pair of panties on before you put these on please. I seriously don’t want to have to explain those kind of stains to the dry cleaners.”

I felt my cheeks redden at the insinuation but refused to acknowledge it. I quickly shot a look to Lexa who was enjoying the teasing before strolling over to the draws. Choosing a clean pair, I shimmied out of my soiled ones, throwing them directly into the trashcan before pulling on the fresh pair. 

“Well, I’m going to leave you two to it.” I heard Lexa say, “some of us have to work today!”

“What time will you be home?” I asked, trying to make my question sound anything but desperate. 

“I’m not sure, probably six? I’ll text you.” I smiled at the gesture.

She came to stand next me to, resting her head on my shoulder, “yes please.”

I wrapped my arms around her, embracing her in a quick cuddle. I wasn’t ready to say goodbye yet and neither was she. 

“No, honestly Lexa, I don’t need a text as well, just text Clarke, it’s fine.” Both Lexa and I laughed at Octavias dry sense of humour. 

“I’ll text you too, and Raven if you want? One mass message keeping you updated on my whereabouts. Would that suffice?” She lifted her head from me and slowly pulled away. 

“Yes, I’ll let Raven know to keep her phone handy. All three of us will eagerly look forward to your updates.”

 

______________________________________________________

 

The day went surprisingly fast, Octavia and I had settled on more outfits for Kane and Anya to sign off and Raven and I were able to appease Kane and his request of PDA. We had spent most of the day snuggled on the sofa catching up on the TV we were allowed to watch. 

The camera’s were still rolling, still following us and our every moves. There were times where I was able to forget, to feel like I was living a normal life, but those moments were rare and honestly? I was scared of those moments. I couldn’t afford to be caught looking at Lexa or touching her, I couldn’t afford to show my love for anyone but Raven. I needed to keep my wits about me, I needed to remember that my every move was being watched and analysed, if not for my sakes, for Raven and Lexa. 

Raven had worked too hard to get to where she is, I couldn’t throw away her career because of my selfish actions. And Lexa, she’s told me so many times that she hates the cameras, if I did anything to out us, she’d never be able to escape them. 

No, I needed to keep up pretences, I needed to play to part, play the perfect girlfriend. 

I was lost in my thoughts when the front door slammed open, Raven and I jumped at the sound, stretching both our necks over the back of the sofas to see what the disruption was. 

“Lexa?” I called out, “What are you doing home? It’s only half 3.”

She stormed into the living room, something had happened at work, that much was obvious. She was angry, bouncing with rage at something. 

She opened her mouth to speak but abruptly stopped, noticing the cameras in the room, noticing how close Raven and I were. Her frown deepened and she turned and leave, “Lexa?” I called out again, the sounds of her footsteps walking away from me replied. 

I looked over to Raven, she was as confused as I was, “come on,” she nudged, “let’s go see what’s happened.”

It didn’t take us long to reach her room, Raven knocked on the door timidly three times, again there was no reply. I looked over my shoulder and saw the camera’s had followed us, I dropped my head and sighed, there was no way we were going to be able to have a full on conversation with these guys here. 

Raven noticed as well, “bathroom,” She whispered, “I’ll run a bath, you grab Lexa.”

I nodded, agreeing to Raven's idea as she walked off to the bathroom. I turned to face the door Lexa was standing behind, I opened the door, “Lex?” I called out as I walked into her room, I figured the cameras were following when I didn’t hear the door close behind me, “Raven is running a bath for you if you’re ready?”

I turned once more, trying to find my target before a voice startled me, “Clarke..” I spun around noticing Lexa staying in her closet, she had noticed the cameras behind me, stalling our conversation. 

I spotted her jaw clenching as I reached out and grabbed her hand, “come with me” I pleaded. 

Lexa didn’t agree, but didn’t disagree either. I took this as my invitation as I pulled her though the hallway to the bathroom, we both could hear the water running in the bath as we closed to distance between us, startling Raven as we barged in. 

I opened the bathroom door and shoved Lexa in before closing the door behind me, “we’re alone, we need to stay quiet but we’re alone.” I tried to reassure her, but her unclenched jaw showed otherwise. 

She pulled away from me and stood by the sink, her hands grasped either side of it as she breathed deeply, both Raven and I stayed still, waiting for Lexa to speak, to get her bearings. 

“So you managed to pull apart long enough to notice me?” She sneered. 

“Lexa!” I proclaimed, “We’ve been through this!”

“Sure we have..” She rudely replied. 

Raven looked around, hoping for a distraction, I knew this wasn’t an ideal situation for her, but there wasn’t much I could do. 

“Lexa, I told you before, I have no feelings for Raven..” I tried. 

I could feel the sneer behind her growl, “yes, because that helps when I come home to see you two in quite the romantic embrace.”

I felt Raven step forward, helping me in this argument, “Lexa, come on, you know it’s not that simple.”

“Simple?” Lexa scorned, venom spitting in Ravens direction, “it’s fucking anything but!”

I jumped forward, fed up of her attitude, Raven was only trying to help, “STOP IT” I implored. 

She reeled back, surprised at my intrusion. I waited for her interruption which never came. I continued, “you know Raven is right, it isn’t simple in the slightest.” I paused as I tried to figure out my next words, “Kane wanted PDA, so we did PDA.” I heard her scoff at my reasoning, “it’s not like we were fucking or anything!”

Lexa let out a frustrated groan, “I know! Fucks sake, I know.” She leant forward against the sink and dropped her head, “Fuck. I'm sorry. I'm sorry okay? I know this.. It's just, fuck, today hasn’t been a good day.”

I stepped forward and placed my hand on her shoulder blade, “what happened?” 

She lifted her head up and gazed at me through the mirror, about to answer but a knock on the door interrupted her. 

“Girls?” 

“Kane?” Raven answered, she opened the door and let him enter. 

“I’m sorry to intrude, however you’re all needed in the living room for an interview.” He left without another word, leaving us to follow him. 

We weren’t scheduled to have an interview today, did this have something to do with Lexa having a bad day? I looked back to Lexa, ready to ask her but she ran past me, muttering swear words as she went. 

“What’s going on, Clarke?” Raven asked. 

“I honestly have no idea.” Raven and I followed Lexa out of the bathroom and made our way to the living room, hoping that we would find some answers in there. 

“Girls! It’s lovely to see you two again.” 

“Harper? You’re interviewing us?” Raven asked, we both sat down on the sofa, I had a bad feeling about this. 

“I am! Is Lexa home? Can’t start without her!” Lexa? Since when was Lexa a part of these interviews? 

“She is!” Kane answered, “she’s just freshening up, she won’t be long.”

I looked over to Raven on my right, “I still have no idea what’s going on, do you?” 

She shook her head, “nope, but something doesn’t feel right.”

I was glad I wasn’t the only one with this feeling. Kane and Harper were in a discussion about something, they were whispering, arguing I think, it was hard to tell.

Lexa walked into the living room, stoic and professional, “Harper, Kane,” She greeted as she took the space to the left of me on the sofa. 

“Fantastic, you’re all here. We will start shortly.” Harper stood up with Kane, whatever they were talking about was clearly over, and Kane did not look happy. 

“Do you know what this is about?” I asked Lexa, hoping she would shed some light on the situation. 

“I have a slight inclination.” She had yet to look at me, her eyes focused on Harper, a glare set to kill. 

“Harper, I expect no less than the strictest professionalism from you and your team. I will find out soon what this interview is about!” Kane left Harper standing in the middle of the room as he left through the front door. 

“Kane doesn’t know what this is about either?” Raven whispered to me. 

“It appears so.” What the hell was going on? 

It turned out that we didn’t have to wait long to find out, Harper sat down on a purposefully placed chair in front of us. One leg crossed over the other, “okay girls, are you ready?”

“Ready as we’ll ever be I suppose?” I laughed at Raven, “let’s get this over with.”

 

______________________________________________________

 

The interview was standard, Harper was sticking to the routine relationship questions between Raven and I, and friendship questions for all three of us. I knew I wasn’t the only one who was waiting for the next set of questions, there was something Harper was dancing around, something she was building up to asking. 

“Lexa,” Harper started, “what’s it like working behind the scenes?”

I turned to Lexa, only to see her pale at the question, it was a simple question wasn’t it? 

“It’s great, being a part of the process which creates the characters we all know and love, it’s something I take great pride in.” Lexa answered, it was a well rehearsed answer and everyone knew it. 

“That’s great! So have you always wanted to go into this industry? Have you never thought of being in front of the cameras, heaven knows you have the looks for it!” Harper was trying to butter her up, Lexa could tell this as well. 

“I have done more than enough acting for my time, it was never where my passion lay so I chose to leave that path and start another career.” 

Harper shuffled some papers around, “of course, acting, it’s in your blood isn’t it?”

Oh shit. Harper knew. Harper knew about Lexa’s parents. That’s why we were here, that’s why we were having this interview. 

I felt Lexa move next to me, I whipped my head around to see her reaction, but there barely was one. She didn’t want to show Harper that she cared, that she was bothered by this line of questioning. 

“It is yes.”

“Your parents, they were also in this industry, we’re they not?” Harper pushed, she was going to out Lexa, fuck, I needed to do something. 

“Her parents were great, are great. They’re understanding of Lexa’s passion and respect her choice.” I spoke, trying to help Lexa out of this situation. 

“They do? That’s not what my source says.” Harper boasted. 

“What?” Lexa asked, I put my hand on her thigh in attempt to calm her down. I could feel her straining beneath me, I knew she wanted to dart, to run out of the room, but her pride weighed her down. 

“Harper, is there anything else you wish to discuss? It’s been a long day for us all.” I turned to hear Raven speaking and thanked her silently. 

“Just a few things if you don’t mind, and Lexa doesn’t mind, do you?” No one liked Harpers tone, she knew she had the power here. 

“No.” Lexa spoke through clenched teeth. Why didn’t she just leave? Why was she sticking around for this? 

“Fantastic! Anyway, yes. My source says otherwise.” I felt my breath hitch, Harper was on a warpath, she knew who Lexa was, and she wasn’t stopping until it was out there in the open. 

“And what does your source say?” Lexa asked, I sat back with Raven, there was nothing I could do, this was their game now, Raven and I were mere spectators. 

“That your parents were not happy with your decision, that they’re still not happy with your decision.” Harper smiled, an evil smile full of promises. 

“My parents want me to have the best in life, like they did. They want me to follow in their footsteps. There is nothing wrong with a parent wanting the best for their children.”

Harper laughed, “and no one is saying otherwise! I guess what I’m trying to understand here is their actions.”

“Their actions?” Lexa asked. 

“The bribing of producers? The selling of your story to TV shows? Surely you were aware of this?” Harper knew she wasn’t, no one was. 

I felt Lexa stiffen beneath my hand again, it was still rested against her. I squeezed it, trying to get her attention. 

“They have their reasons, as I have mine.” Lexa stood up and snarled at Harper as she walked out, “we are done here.”

I stood up, ignoring my name being called and chased Lexa up the stairs, she flung open her bedroom door making me catch it as it bounced back, “Lexa?” I called out. 

“THAT FUCKING BITCH.” She raged. 

“What was that about? What was Harper talking about?” I stepped closer to her but still kept my distance, I had never seen her this angry before. 

“She’s talking about my mum, plotting with Kane. She’s talking about Kane lying to my face. She knows who I am and she played with me, toying with my secret.” Lexa sank down on the bed, defeated and deflated. 

“Kane lied? And plotting what?” I moved to sit next to her and patently waited. 

“Kane said he didn’t know where the leak came from, but he lied. He knew who it was, and he was working with them, helping them. It’s just fucked up Clarke.”

I was struggling to comprehend, what leak was she talking about? Who was it? 

She heard my silence, “that TV show you watched, the one on E! They confirmed a leak, that Indra and Gustus Woods had a child in the entertainment business, that I’m that child.”

OH. 

“But who was the leak? Who was Kane working with?”

I heard a laugh escape from her, it was bitter and pained, “my mother.”

 

 

 

 

 

 


	33. Part 33

**DAY FOUR**

Sleep didn’t come easy to me last night, I couldn’t help but think about Lexa’s words, her mother? Indra? She was the leak?

How did Lexa know? What did Lexa know? None of this made sense, Lexa said that her parents respected her career decisions, but that obviously wasn’t the case.

I wasn’t able to get much out of her last night, she rebuilt the walls I had so patiently taken down, she closed up, shut up, and asked me to leave. I could understand why, but it didn’t make it hurt any less.

A knock on the door bought me out of my thoughts, “hey Clarke, you were still asleep when I got up this morning.” Octavia bounded through the door empty handed, no breakfast? That was strange, “Kane called, you’re not scheduled for shooting again today but he would like you to call him at some point, discuss last night?”

I sat up, “okay, thanks.”

“Speaking of which, just what exactly happened last night?” She plonked herself down next to me and pulled the covers back over herself, “Raven said some fucked up shit about Harper and in interview? She didn’t make much sense.”

“It was an ambush, what do you know about Lexa’s family?” I was unsure of what I could tell her, did she know about her parents? Did she know who she was?

“Erm, not much? Wait, no, nothing, I know nothing, she never talks about her personal life. Why?” I shifted beside her in awkwardness, fuck.

“Just, well, its not really my place to say, but some stuff is going to come out about her.” I rubbed the back of my neck, “it’s gonna be hard for her.”

“Oh, is she okay?”

I shook my head, “no.” I slipped out of the bed and started rooting through my draws, looking for something warmer to wear, “I should go and see her, see if she needs anything.”

“Clarke..”

“Maybe I could make breakfast this morning instead, give her a bit of a break.” Ah ha! Found a sweater, that will do.

“Clarke..”

“On second thoughts, I’ll just buy breakfast. I’m sure I can find somewhere that does take out at this time.” I threw the sweater on and changed my pants into something for suitable for public viewing.

“CLARKE!”

I paused and turned around, “yes?”

“Lexa’s gone.”

“Oh? She left for work already?” I checked the time on my phone, “It’s only 7.15, bit early isn’t it?”

Octavia stood up and walked over to me, “no Clarke, she packed her bags and left.” She closed the distance and pulled me in closer, “I’m sorry.”

I rested my head in the crook of her neck as I let her words sink in.

“When?” I asked.

“Last night, about 10 minutes after you left her room.” I pulled away from her, “I though you knew, I thought you were saying goodbye.”

I laughed bitterly, “no, I didn’t know.” Shucking my hands through my hair, I sat back down on the end of the bed, bouncing when Octavia joined me. “Did she say anything?”

“No, I don’t even think she saw me. I was in the kitchen when I heard her bound downstairs and out the door.” I played with my phone in my hand as I listened to her.

She was lured into a trap, her safe place ruined by gossips and shit-stirrers, if I were her, I would have left too, but not without saying something first. Did she know she was going to leave when I was there? Was it a quick decision? And where did she go?

Realising that I could simply ask her these questions myself, I unlocked my phone and dialled Lexa.

_..Ring ring.._

_..ring ring.._

_“Hey, its Lexa. I am away from my phone right now, please leave a message after the tone..”_

Voicemail, of course.

I hung up quickly, not wanting to leave a message when I wasn’t even sure what I was going to say. Switching to the messenger app, I opened a new message and selected Lexa’s number, “what should I say?” I asked Octavia who had, up until this moment, simply watched as I tried to grasp the news.

“Ask her if she’s okay? Where she is? I’m not sure, Clarke.” She stood up and walked to the door, pulling it open she shouted, “RAVEN! GET YOUR ASS IN HERE.” She checked the time, “we only have 20 minutes until the crew turn up.”

I let out a sigh in realisation as I stared at the empty message, right, here goes nothing.

_-Lexa? It’s Clarke..-_

No, stupid idea, of course she knows its me.

_-Lexa?..-_

I paused, if I show that I’m pissed off, she might not text me back. But at the same time, I don’t want to guilt trip her into replying. I groaned, frustrated.

_-Lexa? Octavia told me that you’ve left.-_

Okay, that’s an okay start I suppose. My train of thought was interrupted by Raven making a dramatic entrance, “couldn’t leave me be? I was thoroughly enjoying my sleep, you know how rare that is these days.”

She sat behind me on the bed, resting against the headboard with Octavia beside her, “Lexa left last night,” I informed her.

“What? Oh wow, can’t say I’m surprised, that was some real fuckery.” I smiled for the first time that morning, nodding my head agreement.

“Yup, anyway, I tried to call her but she’s either away from her phone or screening my calls. So, I’m texting, and I need ideas.” I spun around and faced my two friends, showing them the start of my text on my phone.

“Okay then,” Octavia spoke, “ask her if she’s okay.”

“No.” Raven disagreed, “she’s not going to be okay, don’t ask her that.” I turned the phone back to me and started typing away.

_-Lexa? Octavia told me you’ve left. I hope you’re safe, wherever you are-_

I spun it back to Raven and Octavia to read, “oh good! I like that.”

“Yeh,” spoke Octavia, “I agree with Raven, ask her to call you?” I turned the phone to myself once more.

_-Lexa? Octavia told me you’ve left. I hope you’re safe, wherever you are. Can you call me?-_

“Tell her you miss her,” Raven suggested.

“I don’t want to guilt her into feeling bad, if she had to go, she had to go.” I bit my lip in thought, I wasn’t exactly giving her an opening to reply back to me.

“It isn’t an intentional guilt trip if its true though, I’m guessing you do miss her?” Octavia asked. I raised my eyes from my phone, looking at them both, I suppose they had a point, I did really miss her.

_-Lexa? Octavia told me you’ve left. I hope you’re safe, wherever you are. Can you call me? I miss you.-_

_Sent, 7.32_

“Okay, I’ve sent it. Fingers crossed for me girls!” 

 

* * *

 

 

I had spent the morning cleaning, washing, showering, any sort of household chore that would distract me from the silence emanating from my phone.

It had just turned 3pm and I hadn’t given the crew any worthy footage for their show. Raven and I weren’t cuddling, we weren’t arguing or kissing, we were having the day to ourselves. Raven had watched every low rent film on Netflix and was moaning at the limited selection it offered whilst I swept the floor around her.

“I don’t understand what you want me to do here Reyes, surprisingly enough, I have no part in Netflix, nor do I have any input in the films and TV shows they choose to air.” I paused and prodded her legs with the broom, “feet. Move them.”

She lifted them up from the table and tucked them underneath her, “well aren’t you rubbish.”

I tutted at her, “I do apologise, I’ll be having words with Anya, see what she can do.”

“Please do. In the meantime, can we please do something, anything. I’m begging you. I’m about to go crazy if I watch you clean anything else.” I stopped brushing and leant it against the wall, retrieving a dust pan and brush from the kitchen.

Bending down, I swept the rubbish up and disposed of it, clean house, clean mind right? “Well what do you suggest?”

She jumped up and grabbed the cleaning items from me, “come with me, we’re going out!” Grabbing my hand, she dragged me out the front door, collecting her car keys from a nearby pot she unlocked her car remotely and jumped in the drivers seat, “quickly!”

I hurried up, closing the car door behind me, “why? Where are we going?”

She started up the car and pulled out the drive, “Lexa’s.”

 

* * *

 

 

“So, how do you know where she lives?” I asked, we had just pulled up outside her house, trying to see if there were any movements inside. We had somehow managed to loose the crew who trailed us in a black SUV, but we still weren’t safe.

“I asked O.”

I huffed, “and how does O know where Lexa is?”

“I didn’t ask that bit..” she sheepishly replied, of course she didn’t. “Do you think she’s home?”

I looked around, “I’m not sure, but we need to do something before the crew find us.”

Raven stayed silent, seemingly weighing up her options before a decision was made, “right, okay then.”

She checked the roads were safe in the side view mirrors before driving up Lexa’s driveway, “there’s no car here, it’s not looking good” I deduced.

“You never know..” she tried to reassure, but at this point it was useless. We both knew it was a long shot, I guess I still had some hope that she might be here, that I might get to see her. But coming here had completely shot that hope to hell.

She turned off the engine and opened her door, pausing when she realised I hadn’t yet moved, “are you coming?”

I shook my head, “can you just, can you go without me? If she’s there then you know I’ll be there in a flash, but we both know she isn’t so there’s no point in both of us going.” Raven sighed at me, I knew my sullen attitude was wearing her down, which only worsened my mood. I checked my phone again, reading over the text I’d sent her.

_-Lexa? Octavia told me you’ve left. I hope you’re safe, wherever you are. Can you call me? I miss you.-_

_Sent, 7.32_

It was now 3.24, she hadn’t even opened my message. So, should I think she’s purposefully ignoring me, or should I think that she hasn’t seen her phone? Either way, I wasn’t going to get a reply anytime soon.

I watched as she jogged up the path, running her hands up and down her arms, shivering in the cold. She soon reached her door and knocked three times. She turned around, probably checking that I hadn’t run off or anything, before turning back to the door.

The seconds flew by, she wasn’t answering, she wasn’t home. I saw Raven knock three more times before dropping her head, she walked back to the car as sullen as my attitude.

“I’m sorry Clarke”

I clenched my hands around my phone, “It’s fine, nothing we didn’t expect.”

“Right, well, I’m out of ideas.” Raven said, tapping on her steering wheel.

I unlocked my phone and opened up the text from Lexa.

_-Lexa? Octavia told me you’ve left. I hope you’re safe, wherever you are. Can you call me? I miss you.-_

_Sent, 7.32._

_Seen, 3.26._

“Raven!” I thrust my phone in her direction, “she’s seen my message! Just now, she’s opened and read it!”

She grabbed the phone out of my hand, “oh shit, Clarke, she’s replying!”

I jumped across the centre console, almost falling onto her lap as I snatched my phone back, I felt my heart beating in my throat and my hands vibrating with nerves, three little dots plagued my senses as I waited for her reply.

- _Thank you for your concern, I am well. You will see me soon, I will speak to you then.-_

_Sent, 3.27._

_Seen, 3.27._

I showed Raven, “what do I say?”

“There’s not much you can say to that, Clarke.” She turned the engine on and started driving to an undisclosed location.

“I suppose, I just..” I read the message again, “I just want her to know that I’m here for you, you know?”

“Then tell her that.” She pulled into small parking lot, “come on, I want food.”

_-I look forward to it. I’m here if you need anything.-_

_Sent, 3.28._

_Seen, 3.28._

“Okay, sent and seen. I guess it all goes back to the waiting game now,” I pouted. I hated the waiting game.

 

* * *

 

“Here you go ladies, two Caeser wraps. Can I get you anything else?”

“No thank you, we’re fine.”

Raven and I started digging into our quick lunch meal, “so how long do you think it will be this time?”

I looked across at her and shrugged my shoulders, who knows.

We ate in silence, the weight of the situation bearing heavily down on our shoulders. Was there anything we could do? I had yet to speak to Kane, maybe if he knew that I knew, I could figure out what to say to Lexa, obviously he knows more about her than he previously let on, maybe he knew where she would be?

My phone buzzed next to me, indicating an incoming call. Both Raven and I stopped mid-bite and stared at it, “its an unknown number..”

“Do you think..?” She asked.

“I’m not sure..” I dropped my wrap and picked my phone up,  rolling my eyes at how pathetically my hands were shaking.

I pressed the glaring green button, and with a bated breath, rose the device to my ear, “Hello?”

“Clarke?”

Raven leant closer, listening, trying to figure out the voice on the other end,

“Yes, that’s me..”

There was a rustling, an exchange of mumbled words with another voice, whoever it was had clearly passed the phone over to someone else, “Clarke?”

“Kane?”

My heart dropped, I looked over to Raven and saw her dejectedly fall back against her chair, her food, like mine, forgotten on the plate in front of us.

“Yes, hello. I’ve been expecting you to call me. Did Octavia not pass my message on?” I sighed, rubbing the bridge of my nose.

“I'm sorry, it’s been an interesting day, I hadn’t get gotten round to it.” I heard Kane speak to someone in the background again, but it was too distant to understand.

“It’s okay, its been an interesting day for me also. Are you free now?” Kane asked.

“Yes, I have a spare few minutes.” I replied.

“Great, I need to ask about yesterday, with Harper.”

“I figured as much.” I sighed harder this time, not hiding the frustration behind it.

“Have you spoken to her today?” He sounded as tired as I was.

“Not really no, do you know where she is?” It was a long shot, but I still had to ask.

“No, I do not.” I laughed, just my luck.

“And here I was, thinking you knew everything about her.”

“Careful Clarke, remember who you’re speaking to.” I pinched my nose harder, trying to ignore Ravens questioning stare.

“I’m sorry, I’m just worried about her.” Kane groaned in response.

“Do not think you’re the only one who is angered by the situation, Clarke. What Harper did.. How she handled it.. It was inexcusable. I’m trying to fix it, I’m trying to speak to the shows producers, I’m trying Clarke.”

“I appreciate it.” I paused, “did you know what was going to happen?”

“No. I was unaware of Harpers intentions.” He answered, it sounded honest, but it still didn’t make me feel better.

“But you did know about who she was, her family..” I knew I was pushing my luck, but I needed answers.

“Yes, I’ve known for quite some time. Indra.. she.. Yes, I’ve known.” Indra what?

“Were you.. Did you..” Shit, I shouldn’t be asking this.

“Finish your sentence Clarke, go on.”

I paused once again, looking to Raven for help, she smiled, urging me on. “We’re you working with Indra to leak Lexa’s identity?”

“No” He retaliated, he was stern and quick to answer, and I believed him.

“But you were working with Indra in some way?” I remembered the fax Raven and I found in Kane’s office a few weeks back.

“I.. Yes, she contacted me, she asked me a favour.”

I waited for him to continue, I needed to know more. He heard my silence and continued.

“A job offer, she wanted me to get Lexa on camera, to act. I tried, but she refused.” I thought back to Lexa storming out of Kane’s office after a blatant argument, that has to have something to do with it, it was too much of a coincidence.

“Okay then.”

“Anything else?” There was a light in his tone, and I knew we would be okay.

“I, erm, no?”

“Great, anyway, I just needed to let you know that after today, there’s no more crew. You’re free to return home tomorrow, after Harpers stunt I was able to pull you out early.” My eyes widened and I smiled to Raven.

“Really?”

“Really, I need to go now, have a good day."

"Wait!"

"Yes?"

"Why the unknown number?"

"Oh, people are screening my calls right now, this was was easier. I need to go now anyway. Let the girls know about the crew will you? Thanks." He hung up the phone without waiting for an answer as usual. 

My smile spread, “guess what?” I asked Raven.

“What?” She impatiently replied.

“Crew goes home tomorrow, and so do we. No more camera’s!” Raven jumped up, reaching across the table and hugged me, at least there was a silver lining.


	34. Part 34

****DAY FIVE** **

A groan woke me up, “fuck my life.”

I rolled over, trying my best to ignore it, whoever it was was feeling the same alcohol induced headache that I was, and listening to their discontent was not going to make my head any better.

“Seriously, just kill me, get it over with.”

Whoever was dying next to me starting moving, rocking the bed like a damn boat. I could feel the remnants of last nights drinking start to rise in my throat as the rocking continued.

“Please, anyone, I’m begging.”

I swung my hand around, a fruitless attempt to try and stop the insistent wiggling happening, “if you don’t stop moving, I wont hesitate to.” I grumbled.

“Oh, you’re alive.”

I slowly rolled over, rubbing my eyes as the sunlight does its best attempt to blind me, “barely.” I gently opened an eye to see Octavia, pale and groaning.

“How much did we drink last night? And where is Raven?”

I sat up, joining Octavia in a harmonised groan of discomfort, and looked around the room, “based on the many, many empty bottles of wine, I’d say quite a fair bit.” I shuffled back on the bed and grabbed my phone from the nightstand, switching it on at the side. “Raven?”

“M’here,” a voice replied from the floor beside me. I looked down and laughed at Raven, curled up in a little ball underneath a t-shirt that was far too big for her.

“Hello there.” I greeted, she grunted in return.

I looked back at my phone and sighed as it took its sweet time coming back to life.

“Why did we drink so much again?” Octavia asked.

“Celebration my dear friends, we’re free!” I swung the duvet off as I answered O, manoeuvring my way around an unmoved Raven.

“Not that free, we’re still under contract.” Raven mumbled.

“Yeh, but no more camera’s!” I felt my phone buzz in my hand with notifications.

“Are you forgetting what we do for a living?” Raven mumbled again.

Unlocking my phone, I scrolled through the notifications; emails, missed calls, texts.. none of which were from Lexa.

“Raven, shut up.”

No one had seen Lexa since the other night, we were still waiting for her to come home. Everyone understood that she needed space. Still, it didn’t hurt any less.

Deciding that a shower would make me feel better, I started routing through my draws, looking for my favourite hangover hoody.

“Clarke?” Octavia called out.

“No, I haven’t heard anything.” Ignoring the rustling going on behind me, I opened the second draw and continued my hunting.

“Clarke..” Octavia tried again.

“Balls in her court O,” I tried to hide the disappointment in my voice, but I knew it was shining through, “it’s just a waiting game now.”

“No, Clarke..”

Opening the third draw, hoping third times the charm, I carried on with my search as I answered Octavia, fully aware that my disappointment was apparent, “what do you want O? She doesn’t want to speak to me! She doesn’t want to see me! She literally ran away from me! What? What do you want to know? What do you want me to say?” I found my warn out hoody and laughed at the state of it, it looked how I felt.

I closed all three draws and turned around, dropping my treasured hoody in shock, “Lexa?”

Standing in the doorway, watching me, she was as glorious as ever. Shaking my head, I bent down and picked up my dropped item of clothing.

“Hello Clarke.”

I looked over to Octavia and Raven who were just as shocked as I was, helpful. Remembering my current destination, I walked over to Lexa, gazing over her as I went. She looked okay, physically I mean, who knew how she was doing mentally, it wasn’t even my place to guess.

“I’m glad you’re okay, but excuse me, I need a shower.” I ducked my head and exited the bedroom without looking back. All I wanted to do was to wrap my arms around her, squeeze her tight and never let go, but I was scared. I wanted to know where she went, who she spoke to, what she did, but I couldn’t do that with an audience in the room.

I opened the bathroom door and closed it behind me, I left it unlocked, knowing it wouldn’t take long for Lexa to follow me.

I turned the hot water on first, giving it chance to warm up as I gather the shampoo and conditioner from the cabinet. I removed my clothes and dumped them in the basket next to the sink, ignoring how it was currently filled to the brim and made my way into the cubicle.

Closing the glass door behind me, I sighed in relief as the hot water fell over me, shit this was a good idea. I ran my hands through my hair as I stood underneath the stream, feeling the water wash over me.

The sliding of the glass door behind me brought me back to my senses, I smiled, she didn’t even last five minutes.

“Lexa.” I greeted. I went to turn around but a hand on my shoulder blade kept me in place.

“How did you know it was me?”

I laughed, “as close as Raven, O and I are, we’re not really close enough to have joint showers.”

“I’m glad.” A second hand joined the first one, tracing from my neck to my back. I dropped my head in response, goosebumps followed the trail left by her touch.

I felt one hand leave my back as she bent down, the familiar click of a lid opening told me it was my shampoo bottle, and I smiled.

I lifted my head up, giving her easier access. My smile grew wider when the smell of vanilla surrounded me as she started to run her fingers through my hair. No words were said, no words were needed at all. It was the most intimate scenario we had found ourselves in, a little bubble of peace. Yes, we knew that we had __a lot__ to discuss, but right now? None of that mattered, right now, we were just Lexa and Clarke, two girls who had missed each other.

It wasn’t long before I felt her hands leave my head, and trail down my neck, gently massaging my shoulders before descending down my arms. Fuck, it had been too long since I had someone pay me this attention.

She drew shapes on my back, twisting and kneading my knotted back before doing the same to my legs, starting at my thighs then moving down to my calves. I can’t remember a time I had been so relaxed before, so at ease and comfortable. I was dreamy surprisingly happy.

Her hands swung round and continued their work up the front of my legs, massaging as she went. Skipping over my centre, she resumed on my stomach briefly before wrapping her arms around me, bringing me into a hug from behind.

“Clarke..” She breathed into my neck.

I leant my head back, burying my nose in her hair, “Lexa..”

I tried to ignore the feeling of her naked body against mine, her breasts against my back, her breath ghosting across my skin. I felt her lips smile against my neck, she knew the affect she was having on me, but she didn’t say a thing.

This wasn’t about sex, this was about closeness, about needing one another.

“I’ll let you finish washing the other bits.” She teased.

I laughed and turned around, bring my arms up and resting them on her shoulders, “I missed you.”

She smiled at my confession, “I missed you too.” I tightened my arms, pulling her closer to me, she instantly returned the hug.

“Are you okay?”

I felt her momentarily still in my arms before she let me go, “I will be.” 

 

* * *

 

 

“Clarke! Its been longer than 5 minutes! Hurry up!”

I rolled my eyes at Raven but followed her demand, after my impromptu shower with Lexa, Raven got a call from Kane calling us to the studio. It hadn’t taken long for our little bubble to be burst with reality, but it was nice while it lasted.

Raven had hollered to us through the bathroom door, giving me and Lexa bitter sweet time to shyly watch each other get dressed. The romantic time was over, leaving tension and lust behind. We both knew it wasn’t the time for a rekindling, but heck, it didn’t stop us from looking.

“Will you please stop eye-fucking each other and hurry up! I have places to go, people to see who __aren’t__ going to suffocate me with all the UST in the air!” Raven yelled, her fist banging on the bathroom door.

Lexa’s gazed dropped from mine as an embarrassed flush spread across her cheeks. I finally stopped watching her, feeling guilty at leaving Raven hanging, and finished getting ready.

“Can I open the door?” I asked.

Lexa nodded her head granting me permission. I smiled as thanks and kissed her cheek as I left the room.

“FINALLY!” Raven dramatically shouted making me roll my eyes again.

“I know, alright? I know. Just, come on.” Grabbing her arm I pulled her towards the door. Raven picked her keys and coat up as I shouted up the stairs “Lex, we’re going now, I’ll see you when we get back!”

“Sure thing babe!” She shouted back.

“Babe?” Raven laughed, nudging me out the door.

I groaned, fully aware of the teasing that was about to happen.

“Come on __babe.__ ” And it begins, “we can’t be late, __babe.”__

__

* * *

 

__

“Girls” Kane greeted, “come in.”

I followed Raven through his office door, still bewildered at this meeting. I guessed it was about Lexa, what wasn’t about Lexa right now? Not that I was complaining, I was quite content in having everything revolving around Lexa, on Lexa, me on Lexa. __Fuck,__ Lexa on __me.__

Definitely Lexa on me, Lexa on me all day every day. Fuck I missed her.

“...Clarke?”

“Sorry, what?”

Raven laughed at me, “he was asking for your thoughts on this.”

Crap, how long had I spaced out for?

“Your thoughts on Lexa?”

I cleared my thought in an attempt to stop my cheeks from reddening, which failed miserably. I shifted in my seat, ignoring Raven’s blatant laughing at me.

“On what happened last night, with Harper, at the interview Clarke.” Kane prompted.

“RIGHT! Yes, of course!” I cleared my throat one more time, “I think it was awful what happened, surely they can’t air that? I mean, doesn’t all content have to be signed off and stuff? Can she do anything to stop Harper?”

 

“She can, I just need to hear what happened from someone who was there, I’ve seen the footage and I’ve put a stop from anyone else seeing it. Obviously this can’t be shown anywhere, but I can’t do much else without knowing exactly what happened, will you tell me if the footage is a true representation of the interview?”

I looked over at Raven, I didn’t really want to watch Lexa like that again, it hurt too much last time. But saying that, if it could help her, then who was I to say no?

“Sure.”

 

* * *

 

“So..” Raven started.

“So..” I replied.

We had spent all morning watching and re-watching Lexa get outed. It was a difficult watch, the camera crew did a good job capturing the pain written all over her face which was a good thing for Kane and his report, however for Raven and I? It made us want to drink the day away.

Luckily, Kane gave us the day off, we only had a few more weeks before shooting was finished for the year and boy did we deserve some time off.

Wordlessly, we both climbed into the car with only one destination in mind, __the nearest fucking bar.__

It didn’t take long, we had our local bar we always went one. One which knew our order as soon as we walked through the door, one that kept our addresses on a post-it behind the bar for when we’re both too drunk to remember it.

“Raven! Clarke! Back to drink all my stock again?”

“Hey Bel,” we greeted our favourite bar tender. Looking around, it was pretty empty, which made sense considering it was 2pm.

“I’ll grab our seats, you grab our drinks.”

It didn’t take long before Raven joined me, with a bottle of vodka in tow. She placed the bottle infront of me next to two graphically detailed shot glasses.

“I got two naked ladies,” Raven said, spinning both of them towards me, “figure it was more fitting than two naked dudes.”

I laughed at her attempt at lightening the mood up, “you figured right.”

I grabbed the bottle and poured a shot each, “should we toast?”

Raven grabbed her filled shot glass and downed it straight away, “maybe when we come up with something to toast.”

I followed her movements, loving the familiar burn it leaves behind. I poured two more glasses and downed my second shot without hesitation.

“I want this shit to be over with. Raven, can we figure out how to get out of this stupid deal?

Raven took her shot from my hand and copied me, downing her shot with ease, “fuck yes. But how?”

I shook my head, “I don’t know, you got any ideas?”

Raven took her turn pouring the next shot for us both which we gladly took, “I don’t know, but it can’t be impossible, right? We just have to give them something juicier yeh? Something they would rather talk about.”

“Sounds legit, but we’re hot stuff,” I smirked, “as if they can find something hotter than us to talk about.”

I smiled at Raven laughing, “I think we found something to toast to.”

Pouring another shot, we lifted them in the air, “to us, __hot stuff.”__

__

* * *

 

__

“Alright girls, I’m cutting you off. Don’t you have a home to go to?”

“BELLAMY! Oh Bellamy!” Raven sang, “don’t do this to us!”

I laughed at her dramatics, we weren’t that bad, but standing would definitely be a tricky skill right now.

“Come on, let me call you a cab.”

“No!” Raven and Bellamy turned at my exclamation, “I want Lexa, call my Lexa.”

Bellamy smirked, “ _ _her__ Lexa? Who’s __her__ Lexa?”

Raven snorted loudly, “her hair and make up artist, you know how shallow Clarke is,” she winked at me before continuing, “she wants her touch up.”

“WAHAYYYYYY! Damn right!” I stumbled on my chair as I reached into my pocket to retrieve my phone, I unlocked it and pushed it into Bellamy’s chest, “call Lexa.”

He took my phone from my hand as I dropped my head on the table, the vodka now impairing the ability to hold my head up.

It only felt like seconds before I was being nudged from my spot, a gentle poke on my shoulder was getting harder and harder, “Clarke?”

Oh, a voice, that would explain the nudging.

“Raven? Clarke? Come on guys, how much did you drink?”

The voice was getting louder and the insistent prodding continued.

“Why is there poking? Cease and desist with the poking.” I grumbled.

“Okay there officer, why don’t I take you back to the station, we can travel in the squad car if you want.”

I lifted my head up to see Lexa’s beautiful face smirking at me, “role play? Kinky.”

She rolled her eyes at me and lifted me from the chair, in any other situation I would have been embarrassed to be seen like this, but as it were, the alcohol running through my veins were making me feel exceptionally good, if not a little bit tired.

“Where’s Raven?”

I stumbled as I stood up, falling into Lexa and enjoying the way her arms protectively found me, “the bar tender has her, he’s taking her to my car.” She hoisted me up, swinging my arm around her shoulder to get a better grip on me, how I had missed those hands.

“Seriously,” she grumbled, “how much did you drink?”

I couldn’t stop my head from flopping on her shoulder, breathing in her scent as she walked me outside, the fresh air sent chills down my spine, “not that much, I don’t think” I mumbled.

“Clearly.”

She propped me up against something, “don’t fall,” she requested.

I reached out to grab onto something, I didn’t want her to see how difficult standing up would be right now. Beneath my fingertips was something hard and cold, I felt around drunkenly trying to figure out what was holding me up, “a car?” I asked myself, “its a very strong car.”

The car was bought to life, humming and lighting up startling me, “Clarke, can you figure out where the door is or not?”

I opened my eyes and looked around, I could do this, come on Clarke, don’t make a fool out of yourself even more, “I think so.”

I found the handle without a problem, letting it slip through my fingers a few times before I found a grip on it and pulled it open, I flopped in the seat, groaning in satisfaction as I shut the door behind me.

“Clarkeee! I missed you!” I looked over my shoulder to see Raven already seated and buckled up, looking much more awake than I was, I grinned at her as I felt Lexa reach across the console, grabbing my seatbelt and buckling me in.

“Okay girls, lets get you to bed.”

 

* * *

 

For the second time in just as many days, a hungover groan woke me up, “why do we do this to ourselves?”

I laughed, thankful that I wasn’t the only one feeling this pain, “its always a good idea at the time, no one stops to think about the next morning.”

I rolled over, squinting at the light as I threw the cover off my body, it was far too hot to be so constricted, “did you undress me?” I asked Raven.

“Huh? I don’t even remember leaving the bar.”

I looked down at my bra and panties, well, at least they were decent.

“You did that to yourself when you got through the front door.” I looked up to see Lexa walk in the room, gracefully holding two mugs a brown paper bag, “coffee and bagels.”

“Oh you life saver.” Raven grumbled as she sat up, leaning against the headboard.

Lexa handed one of each to Raven, holding mine back, “Clarke, can we speak?”

I nodded my head, ignoring the pounding in it and got out of bed, not bothering with covering up. I followed her out of the bedroom and into Lexa’s. I tried to ignore the packed suitcase sitting in the corner and how the room was now void of any of Lexa’s things, but she noticed my looking.

“Now the camera’s have left, I figured we don’t have to stay here any longer than we need to.” Oh, well okay, I guessed that makes sense.

“Of course.” I quietly spoke, “I’m sorry for last night, I was a mess.”

I followed Lexa’s movements and sat next to her on her bed, “don’t be, its fine.”

There was a moments silence before the thick air got to me, “are we okay?” I asked timidly.

She reached across my lap and grabbed my hand, “I hope so, after the week I’ve had, you’re all I needed.”

I glowed at her reply and threw myself at her, my legs cradling hers as I straddled her, my arms around her neck as I breathed her in. “Jesus Lexa, what a fucking mess this is.” I buried my nose further, enjoying her movements as she chuckled beneath me.

“I know.”

“Lex?” I pulled back to look at her, “where did you go?”


	35. Part 35

Lexa’s POV, flashbacks in italics.

 

* * *

 

__I knew I shouldn’t have left, I knew I should have spoken to Clarke but my mind was all over the place._ _

__I needed space, I felt trapped, suffocated in this damn house, I needed out._ _

__It didn’t take long to pack a few things and leave, ignoring Octavia calling my name as I walked out the door._ _

__I unlocked the car and climbed in, quietly closing the door behind me. Gripping the steering wheel, I tried to ignore my knuckles turning white, I could feel myself shaking in anger. I shouldn’t be driving in this state but I couldn’t stay here, turning the key in the ignition I pulled out the drive way, knowing exactly where I was driving to._ _

__

* * *

 

__

__I slammed the door open upon entrance, storming my way through the familiar walls, whipping my head left and right as I scoured the rooms looking for one sight in particular._ _

__I found it, sitting in an arm chair, resting against a wooden desk that was far too big for the room it was situated in, “mother.” I greeted bitterly._ _

__I sat in the seat opposite her, “Lexa! To what do I owe the pleasure?”_ _

__“Is it a pleasure?”_ _

__I watched her recoil in shock, “of course it is Lexa, what’s going on?” I tried to hide a sneer but failed miserably, “Lexa, enough.” She warned_ _

__“So now you decide to be a mother?”_ _

__Hands slam down on the wooden desk as she stood up, towering over me, “Alexandria, this is my house, you will not disrespect me.”_ _

__“Like how you disrespected me, mother? How you disrespected my choices? My fucking life, mother?” I stood up, unable to stop the tears from clouding my eyes._ _

__“I do not know what you mean, Alexandria.”_ _

__“Oh cut the bull, mother, I know what you did. Your bribery with Kane, your deal with the EW. You’re the fucking leak mother!” The tears were drowning my face, my head was ringing, my hands clenching. I rubbed my eyes, annoyed at myself for showing my devastation._ _

__I waited for a reply, an excuse, anything, but nothing came out._ _

__“I’m so.. I just..” I sighed, unable to find the right words, “I need to go.”_ _

__“Alexandria, wait!” I flung open the door and ran to my car, fumbling with my keys as I tried to press the right button to unlock it._ _

__“Shit.” I sighed when I dropped them on the floor, “come on Lexa.” I bent down to pick them up, taking a steading breath before finally pressing the unlock button._ _

__“Lexa!” I ignored my mothers calls as I climbed into the drivers seat, key in the ignition I started up the car. I tried to pull away but the passenger door opened, “just let me explain.”_ _

__I dropped my head to the steering wheel, “what is there to say? You want me out, you want my name known, my family known, you want a famous daughter, someone good enough to carry the Woods name.” I laughed self-deprecatingly, “I’m sorry I’m not good enough for your ideals.”_ _

__“Lexa, it’s not like that.” I laughed again, “will you let me speak?”_ _

__I slumped back in the seat, silently giving her the go ahead to continue._ _

__“I’ve had a good life Lexa, a good husband, a good career, a good family, is it bad that I was the same for you? I’m your mother, Lexa, it’s what we do. You couldn’t hide forever, it was bound to come out, at least this way we would all be prepared for it.”_ _

__“You don’t get to decide that for me. You don’t get to decide on my career or if I want people to know where I come from. It’s my life mother, do you understand that? Do you get why I’m upset?” I turned the engine off, this could take a while._ _

__

* * *

 

 

I tried not to tense up at the question, I knew Clarke had a right to know where I went, I mean, I did just ditch her, and ignore her for days. I tightened my arms around her, relishing in her straddling me, holding me close.

“I went to see my mother, Indra.” I mumbled into her neck.

I felt her arms loosen as she leant back, holding my face in her comforting hands, “are you okay?” I smiled as her thumbs stroke the side of my cheeks, tracing the tear marks stained from the other day.

I smiled weakly, “I have you, I’ll be fine.”

Clarke returned my smile, pulling me in closer, holding onto me tightly. It helped, having her with me, she helped me forget. I didn’t want to let go.

“Lex?”

“Hm?”

“Would you mind if I put some clothes on? Its chilly.”

I laughed, suddenly remembering her lack of clothes. I dropped my arms from her neck, sweeping them down her back before resting them on her thighs, “I’d rather you didn’t.”

She leant back to look at me, a smirk plastered on her face, “oh really.”

“Really.”

She subtly started moving her hips, rocking against me, “and why’s that?”

I helped her rock against me, guiding her hips forward and back, “I’m quite fond of you like this.”

She let out a little gasp as her movements grew more desperate, “like what?” She asked in between breaths. Her head dropped onto my shoulder as a whine escaped her.

“On top of me.. Ready for me..” I groaned at her movements, “wet for me..”

“Fuck Lex..” She ground down harder, rutting against me. She was primal, animalistic, using me, taking what she needed.

I was aching for her touch, longing for a release, but I wanted her more. I wanted to see her face as she came on top of me, spilling her climax all over herself. Fuck, just the thought pushed me closer to the edge, “Clarke..” I begged.

She grunted, moaning at every thrust, twitching at every rock, “I’m close, Lex.”

I gripped onto her hips harder, ruthlessly pulling her against me, I needed her orgasm just as much as she did.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck..” Her mouth dropped open as she reached her peak, soundlessly shaking. Her head dropped and she bit down on me, muffling her cries into my shoulder.

Her hips finally stopped their rhythm as a light laugh left her lips, “god I missed you.”

I wrapped my arms around her again and lay back against the bed, thoroughly enjoying how she draped herself on me. I was vibrating with arousal, drenched in my own need. I wasn’t aware that it was obvious, but Clarke told me otherwise, “something you need, Lexa?”

She knew the affect she had on me, she knew she was teasing me, but fuck if I cared. I nodded, not trusting my ability to speak.

She shifted down, spreading my legs as she went. Settling between them, she rested her thigh between the juncture of mine. It was obvious what she wanted to do, wanted me to do, “use me Lex, use me like I used you.”

I watched her eyes darken as she ordered me around, she licked her lips and smirked as she caught my eyes dropping to them, “Now, Lexa.”

I waited no longer as I shifted my hips up, testing the waters, instantly moaning in approval. I felt her tense her thigh and push into me further, I gasped at the sensation. I threw a hand onto the pillow by my head, grounding myself to something as I continued grinding my clit against her, fuck she knew what she was doing.

“Fuck, Clarke!” I moaned loudly. I lost control of my hips as they chased my pleasure. I was close, so close to coming. My toes started to tingle and my mind clouded over, I couldn’t stop the cries every time we thrusted in time.

“You gonna come for me?” She asked breathlessly, I nodded my head again wildly, I just needed something, anything. I was so close, so fucking close.

She leant her head down, capturing my ear between her pearly whites, “what do you need Lex?”

“I need.. I need..” More loud moans interrupted me, the pleasure was too great, I couldn’t think clearly, “Clarke..”

She pulled her head back from me, continuing her ministrations on my clit, she was gauging my reaction, searching for something. She maintained eye contract, thrusting and thrusting before smiling shyly.

“I love you, Lex.”

I rode the fireworks as they exploded behind my eyes at her admission, crying in passion as my body shook and writhed with excitement. I keened her name, my orgasm being dragged out by her talented thigh as I re-ran Clarke’s words over and over in my head. She loved me, she fucking loved me.

I started coming down from my high. With a grin on my face, I finally opened my eyes and found Clarke looking back at me. She was nervous, scared of her own confession.

I reached up and traced her face. I wanted to memorise this moment, her caring eyes, the twitch in her eyebrow, the little shine of sweat resting on her forehead, the little crease at the ends of her eyes, and the perfect kissable freckle just above her lip. It was all Clarke, my Clarke. And my Clarke loved me.

“I love you too.”

 

* * *

 

“So how are we doing this?” I asked Raven as she settled herself on the sofa opposite Clarke and I.

We had met up to discuss our options, our next steps, and any ideas that we could think of.

Clarke turned to face me, “well, Raven and I figured that if we give Anya, Jaha and Kane something more interesting than mine and Raven’s fake relationship, maybe that will give us an easy out of our contract, you know?”

“That might work,” I rested my head on my knee, “know anyone more interesting than you two?”

“Unfortunately not,” Raven replied, “do you?”

I bit my lip in contemplation, “yes, there’s something that could work.” I looked across to Clarke’s inquisitive face, “do you trust me?”

She nodded her head and smiled, “always.”

I leant forward, kissing her gently on the forehead as I left the house. Pulling my phone out my back pocket I dialled a number and waited for the other end to pick up, not hesitating when they did, “Kane? We need to meet.”

 

* * *

 

“Are you sure about this Lexa?” Kane asked as he walked me out of his office.

“Not really,” I replied honestly, “but this isn’t just about me anymore, I need to not be selfish.” I jingled the keys in my hands nervously, mentally preparing me for what was about to go down.

“Okay then, so you get the plan?”

“I do, you call Anya and Jaha, give them the heads up. Once they know, call me and I’ll start my side of things.” He placed his hands over mine, pausing my jingling in an attempt to calm me down.

“You’re a good person, Lexa.” He smiled at me, “good luck.”

  

* * *

 

 

“Clarke?” I called as I made my way into the communal house, “are you home?”

I looked in the kitchen and found it empty to made my way to the living area, smiling at a sleeping Clarke sprawled out on the sofa. I sat down gently next to her, “Clarke?”

She groaned in reply, rolling over to bury her face in my lap, “I missed you.” My smile grew wider.

“I missed you too.”

I stroked her hair, taking a moment to myself to enjoy the calm before the storm.

She started to wake up, rubbing sleep from her eyes as she sat up, “where did you go?”

I moved to sit next to her, “I had some things to sort out.”

“Yeh?” My answer seemed to wake her up more, “you gonna tell me what?”

I laughed at her about to answer but my phone interrupted me .. _ _Kane Calling..__ “You’ll find out soon enough.” I teased as I pressed the green __Answer__ button.

“All done on my end, its up to you now kiddo.” His deep voice vibrated through the phone, well okay then. I hung up without replying and looked at Clarke, it’s now or never.

Keeping a hold of my phone, I scroll through my contacts, eventually stopping one the desired number before pressing __Call.__ Each ring terrified me, it felt like forever until I heard the little click, “hello?”

I took a deep breath and looked back at Clarke and smiled as reassuringly as I could muster. She wasn’t going to like this one bit, “Harper, it’s Lexa. Still want that interview?”

 

* * *

 

“ARE YOU CRAZY?” Clarke repeated, she had been asking me the same question now for five minutes, and I had yet to reply, unable to fit a word in with her constant angry ramblings.

“Clar..”

“ARE YOU ACTUALLY CRAZY?” She was pacing back and forth, throwing her hands in the air every now and then.

“Cla..”

“SERIOUSLY, ARE OUT OF YOUR MIND?” She threw her head back releasing a frustrated breath. I dropped my head in shame, I knew she wouldn’t be happy with my decision, but it was the best way out of our situation. Actually, thinking about it, it was our only way, and as much as it pained me to admit it, my mother way right, it was going to come out sooner or later. At least this way, I could control how it was going to come out.

“Whats going on here? Clarke? Lexa?”

I lifted my head up, grinning foolishly at Octavia and Raven as they walked into the room, maybe they could get Clarke to stop talking so I could explain myself.

“Tell them! Tell them your brilliant plan Lexa!” The sarcasm dripping from her disappointed tone.

“I figured out how to get us out of the contracts.”

Raven laughed, “Fucking A! Lexa saves the day!” She ran out and jumped on me, throwing her arms around me in a hug that knocked the air out of me. “Wait, why is that a bad thing?” She pulled back and looked at Clarke.

I sighed, “it was your idea really, give them something they want, something that gets the heat of you two.”

“Okay.. So what then?” Octavia asked.

“Me. I give them me.”

Clarke groaned again and continued her pacing back and forth, “could you not have thought of anything else? Why are you doing this?”

I stood angrily, “I did it for you!” I confessed, “I meant for us, you know, Raven too, and me, I guess.” I sheepishly followed up.

“Lexa..” Clarke warned.

“Clarke, please” I resigned, “you can’t change my mind on this, and I could really use your support right now.”

She stopped pacing, looking at me with a pained expression, “you have it Lex, but I don’t want you to do this for me.”

I took her hands in mine, playing with her fingers distractedly, “it wasn’t just for you, but I’d be lying if I said you weren’t a big part in my decision.”

“Lexa..”

I cut her off, “Clarke, please. You, us, this thing between us, it means so much to me and I’m fed up with not being able to show everyone. My mother, she made me realise some things. Its not a spur of the moment decision, I’m ready you know? I’m ready Clarke.”

She nodded resolutely, “okay then.” She turned to Raven and Octavia, laughing at their shocked faces, “anyone else got any questions?”

“Erm.. Yeh, I do I guess?” I looked over to O, “how are you.. what are you.. what’s..”

“The plan?” I asked interrupting her, she nodded at me.

I looked over to the clock on the table to check the time, “I have an interview in half an hour, when that’s done and aired, then its over, all you need to do is to break up in an amicable way. As long as neither of you come out as the bad guy, then Jaha and Anya are fine with it.”

“Okay, but what about you? Where does that leave you?” Raven asked.

“Yeh, whats this interview about?” Octavia chimed in.

I heard Clarke scoff at the question, but she kept quiet, leaving me to answer their questions. “Its just a simple interview, about my family, my life and choices and stuff, an introduction more than anything.”

“And who’s doing the interview, hmm? Tell them that bit.” I squirmed as Clarke chastised me.

“Harper..” I whispered.

I could tell Raven and Octavia weren’t happy with that with the ‘OH HELL NO’s and ’ARE YOU CRAZY’s’ that they shouted.

I rolled my eyes at Clarkes smug smile and playfully pinched her side, “yes I know what you’re thinking, but as annoying as it is, I trust her and her work. She isn’t going to set me up again, not if I’m forthcoming with all the information.”

“And how do you know that?” Raven shouted, she wasn’t hiding her anger with me.

“Because I’m giving her an exclusive! She won’t use her leak if I tell her everything.” I sighed, already fed up of this conversation.

“Everything?” Octavia asked.

“Yes, everything. It’s time, O, I’m ready. There’s no more hiding, this is who I am, I was born into this family and I shouldn’t hide it any longer.” I looked back at the clock, “I only have 10 minutes until they’re here so if you’d excuse me, I need to go and get ready.”

I stood up, shuffling Clarke off my lap as I left the room, “Lex?” She called out as she followed me.

“I’m sorry,” she started, “it was just horrible to watch the last interview, I didn’t want to see you go through that again, but if you’re sure that this time will be different then okay then.”

“Okay then?” I asked, circling my arms around her waist.

“Yes, okay then.” She smiled. I leant forward and kissed her.

“Help me get ready?”

 

* * *

 

“Harper.” I greeted, “it’s lovely to see you again.”

I wasn’t, but my mother raised no fool, I needed her more than she needed me.

“Lexa, lovely day isn’t it? A great day for story telling.” I really despised this woman.

“Please,” I showed her to the sofa, “take a seat.”

It wasn’t long before the camera’s were set up and the lights were on. Harper was sat across me, shuffling some papers with an excited glint in her eye. I looked to the doorway where Clarke was standing for support, the smile she granted me gave me the courage I needed.

“So,” Harper started, “ready for this?”

I smiled painfully, “as I’ll ever be.”

 

* * *

 

“Clarke?” I hollered, “Clarke!”

I ran into her bedroom and threw myself at her, peppering her face and neck with tiny kisses, “I did it, its done. It’s all done baby!”

We laughed together, knowing what it meant for us. We were free to be who we wanted to be, both separately and as a team. We weren’t being ruled by lies anymore, we weren’t scared of being discovered, we were finally released from this nightmare, Raven too.

“Does she know? Does Raven know?” She asked, speaking into my neck unable to let go.

“She does, all you need to do is issue a statement saying you work best as friends and its all done baby.” She squeezed me harder and grinned into my neck.

“So its all done? It’s all done?”

I grinned too, nodding my head.

“We’re free baby, it’s all done.”


End file.
